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Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
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Lim
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Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Post by Lim » Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:45 am

Rereading some of Charlotte Bronte's letters to her married professor (aka Monsieur) and unrequited love object.

Here’s an excerpt from one of her letters:

“I do not seek to justify myself, I submit to all kinds of reproaches — all I know — is that I cannot — that I will not resign myself to the total loss of my master’s friendship — I would rather undergo the greatest bodily pains than have my heart constantly lacerated by searing regrets. If my master withdraws his friendship from me entirely I shall be absolutely without hope — if he gives me a little friendship — a very little — I shall be content — happy, I would have a motive for living — for working.”
Last edited by Lim on Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:35 am, edited 7 times in total.
I’m a 21 year old female (single).
My LO is a 54 year old male (married w/ kids).

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LisaTranscending
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Re: Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Post by LisaTranscending » Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:30 am

boy oh boy did I outgrow Bronte. ich..yuck...ewwww. :ymsick:

sorry lim but reading that just...well...I can't relate to that sort of slavish torch bearing unquestioning love. I suppose something in me broke. not to say I still don't feel things with love poetry...but that particular passage.. :ymsick: .big turn off. if I were Monsieur...I'd change my name and leave no forwarding address.

just think.... after a debilitating bout of limerence....stuff like that will make your eyes roll. so much to look forward to!

don't feel bad I once spent an entire weekend in old tribe transcribing the poetry of a medieval spiritual poetess Hadewijch. I remember how sublime it was at the time. let me go find that book and see if it still rings true for me.

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Lim
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Re: Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Post by Lim » Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:36 am

LisaTranscending wrote:
Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:30 am
boy oh boy did I outgrow Bronte. ich..yuck...ewwww. :ymsick:

sorry lim but reading that just...well...I can't relate to that sort of slavish torch bearing unquestioning love. I suppose something in me broke. not to say I still don't feel things with love poetry...but that particular passage.. :ymsick: .big turn off. if I were Monsieur...I'd change my name and leave no forwarding address.

just think.... after a debilitating bout of limerence....stuff like that will make your eyes roll. so much to look forward to!
Well that was that a much needed slap in the face! I'm so embarrassed! Like literally hot in the face and blushing. You did the right thing calling me out on it though, so thank you.

Just for the record, I don't even like Bronte that much. And I definitely don't think this particular passage is beautiful or healthy or romantic or sublime.

I did find it moving, though. I guess I relate to her desperation. When I first read it, it was like reading my heart on a page.

I also think it was rather selfish and imprudent of Charlotte to disclose her feelings to her married professor, when he was obviously uncomfortable with it.
Last edited by Lim on Wed Jan 24, 2018 7:30 am, edited 6 times in total.
I’m a 21 year old female (single).
My LO is a 54 year old male (married w/ kids).

Kim
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Re: Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Post by Kim » Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:43 am

Unfortunately, I understand all too well the feelings she describes. Although she does pour it on a little too thick (-|
I remember reading “Vilette” before I knew the word limerence and thinking wow, she had what I have.

Hey I bet if this forum existed during her time we’d all sound kind of like that :p

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Lim
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Re: Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Post by Lim » Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:10 am

Ugh, the more I read it the more I hate it! Why’d I think this passage was a good thing to post here? lol! I try so hard to be sensible and balanced and tasteful yet I am always seduced by the most absurd, over the top extreme things?

Everything I love and respond to emotionally —- the Catholic mass, for instance —- I also kind of hate and am ashamed of. It’s all out of sync. I don’t know why I love all the wrong things?

I know I’m overreacting. I just get so embarrassed sometimes. I guess I’m having a lot of trouble accepting the fact that I still have so much to learn!
Last edited by Lim on Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:22 pm, edited 3 times in total.
I’m a 21 year old female (single).
My LO is a 54 year old male (married w/ kids).

L-F
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Re: Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Post by L-F » Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:50 am

Lim wrote:
Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:36 am
LisaTranscending wrote:
Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:30 am
boy oh boy did I outgrow Bronte. ich..yuck...ewwww. :ymsick:

sorry lim but reading that just...well...I can't relate to that sort of slavish torch bearing unquestioning love. I suppose something in me broke. not to say I still don't feel things with love poetry...but that particular passage.. :ymsick: .big turn off. if I were Monsieur...I'd change my name and leave no forwarding address.

just think.... after a debilitating bout of limerence....stuff like that will make your eyes roll. so much to look forward to!
Well that was that a much needed slap in the face! I'm so embarrassed! Like literally hot in the face and blushing. You did the right thing calling me out on it though, so thank you, LisaT!

Lim wrote:
Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:10 am
Ugh, the more I read it the more I hate it! Why’d I think this passage was a good thing to post here? lol! I try so hard to be sensible and balanced and tasteful yet I’m always seduced by the most absurd, over the top extreme things! :
Lim, there was nothing wrong with posting it, noting wrong with liking or identifying with it, nothing wrong with it, period. We do what we feel compelled to do in the moment. Nothing to feel ashamed of. We are all emotional beings.

Shed that cloak of shame and guilt that wraps your shoulders and keeps your body warm. This is a safe place. Just as we have different opinions, we have different reasons for posting. These are the very things that help us to see into that void, so keep posting.
When you are external facing,
how do you expect to do the inner work? :-??

L-F
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Re: Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Post by L-F » Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:52 am

to answer you from another thread,
yes, I'm a kiwifruit fruitcake :) Or as the Americans say 'a kiwi'
When you are external facing,
how do you expect to do the inner work? :-??

Idiotic
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Re: Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Post by Idiotic » Wed Jan 24, 2018 9:12 am

Wow, now that is my kind of crazy =))
You know ive never come around to reading Charlotte' s works. Ive read the other two, i liked Anne a little better, although all her religious undertones annoyed me, but still it was a good read.
Think ill read Villette next.
Boy...youre gonna carry that weight, carry that weight, a long time - Golden Slumbers(The Beatles)

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LisaTranscending
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Re: Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Post by LisaTranscending » Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:52 pm

Oh, Lim....I will forgive your enthusiastic poetic nature if you will forgive my cynical outbursts. :ymhug:

i found that book of poems and.....just words on a page. nary a tear to my eye or a remote flutter of the heart. the rose is still red and fragrant, but when not limerent, there's a kind of exile to the exuberance enjoyed by a Bronte or a sweet Lim. I have no such fondness towards another. It's been three years since I felt any sort of pang. poetry without a torch....kind of bland or wistful even, but hardly inspiring. (thank god music is still sublime)

I will actually speak to this in L-F's post since Endgame's response to it highlights this very topic as well. be yourself unabashedly. (even if your shame is a part of you) perhaps that's one of the more beautiful ingredients in limerence...was our shame. lol. unashamedly shameful!

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Lim
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Re: Charlotte Bronte’s Limerence

Post by Lim » Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:38 pm

LisaTranscending wrote:
Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:52 pm
Oh, Lim....I will forgive your enthusiastic poetic nature if you will forgive my cynical outbursts. :ymhug:
Of course I forgive you, LisaTranscending! But there is nothing to forgive! :ymhug:

Something about what you wrote triggered something in me. But it had nothing to do with the content of your comment, which was as usual very thoughtful, and everything to do with me. You even explicitly told me “not to feel bad”!

But thank you for this nonetheless. What you’ve written here is really beautiful. I will try to take it to heart. It really did make me feel a lot better about myself. (See how much reassurance I need?)

Same goes for your reply to L-Fs post. Brilliant.
I’m a 21 year old female (single).
My LO is a 54 year old male (married w/ kids).

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