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12 Step Program?

Discussion related to all forms of addictions.
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LoneAmigo
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12 Step Program?

Post by LoneAmigo » Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:08 pm

I've just realized how close my Limerence resembles an addiction. I never thought I was addicted to anything, I don't do drugs, I like alcohol occaisionally, but I could easily give that up. But with my limerence, I need my daily fix. Nothing I have experienced compares to the high I feel when I think about my LO. When I fantasize about my LO, I am happy, inspired, excited, my mind races with other fantasies and ideas, so much so that she actually inspired me to write a book. The high is great, but like with most effective drugs, the side effect is horrible. After I come down off my high, I experience anger, frustration, sorrow, depression and loneliness. I wonder if some 12 step program for this like AA or something would help. I'm thinking that a cure is going to involve many stages. And I think this deserves serious attention as I could see how dangerous this really is. I mean I could see if left unchecked where this could easily spiral down to result in stalking someone or worse, or thoughts of suicide. Luckily for me it has not gone that far.

I'd be interested in other thoughts about the seriousness of this addiction. Thanks,

- Lone Amigo

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David
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Re: 12 Step Program?

Post by David » Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:18 pm

Worth checking out SLAA -we are love addicts at heart
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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townshend
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Re: 12 Step Program?

Post by townshend » Fri Jul 14, 2017 1:47 am

Yes! Both my parents are in NA so I've always said this is just like addiction, just of another kind. The high and lows, compulsions, how NC/LC feels like a withdrawal. I see the similarities more and more all the time. I've never tried seugs or alcohol because of family history and I know I have an obsessive personality, so LE is just another example of that part of me taking over.
David wrote:
Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:18 pm
Worth checking out SLAA -we are love addicts at heart
Sounds like the things to do!
No good has ever come from feeling guilty neither intelligence, policy, nor compassion. The guilty do not pay attention to the object but only to themselves and not even to their own interests, which might make sense, but to their anxieties. -Paul Goodman

JupiterTaco
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Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
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Re: 12 Step Program?

Post by JupiterTaco » Sun Jul 16, 2017 2:19 am

David wrote:
Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:18 pm
Worth checking out SLAA -we are love addicts at heart
I was in Coda for awhile, but I've been afraid to go back since I started cursing inside a church when I was telling someone about the bitch-bully-boss I was dealing with. #-o Of course I wasn't really connecting with this new group since I moved anyway. Most of my breakthrough-bonding moments happened with the group in my old location.
"How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me, you're the part of me that I don't want to see"-Forget It-Breaking Benjamin

obsessedwoman
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Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2018 3:27 pm
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Re: 12 Step Program?

Post by obsessedwoman » Fri Aug 03, 2018 2:45 pm

LoneAmigo wrote:
Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:08 pm
I've just realized how close my Limerence resembles an addiction. I never thought I was addicted to anything, I don't do drugs, I like alcohol occaisionally, but I could easily give that up. But with my limerence, I need my daily fix. Nothing I have experienced compares to the high I feel when I think about my LO. When I fantasize about my LO, I am happy, inspired, excited, my mind races with other fantasies and ideas, so much so that she actually inspired me to write a book. The high is great, but like with most effective drugs, the side effect is horrible. After I come down off my high, I experience anger, frustration, sorrow, depression and loneliness. I wonder if some 12 step program for this like AA or something would help. I'm thinking that a cure is going to involve many stages. And I think this deserves serious attention as I could see how dangerous this really is. I mean I could see if left unchecked where this could easily spiral down to result in stalking someone or worse, or thoughts of suicide. Luckily for me it has not gone that far.

I'd be interested in other thoughts about the seriousness of this addiction. Thanks,

- Lone Amigo
Oh, it's definitely an addiction for me as well. I repeat it over and over and over. I've been doing this to myself for about 15 or 16 years and it just gets worse as I get older. And I'm finally accepting and admitting I have a problem and trying to change it. It's hard though. I find myself in these states of wanting to heal and recover, and then I find myself right back where I started once again. A "relapse" if you will. Because I just keep meeting new people and finding new LOs. I think I've had close to 20-30 LOs in my lifetime. I remember EACH one too. My therapist has got me working the 12 steps for AA. My friend is in NA and is in recovery and I have read her NA book. I relate with SEVERAL things in the NA book. It's actually scary at times. But yes, I'm actually currently working on the 12 steps right now. Actually, there is this great book called "Co-Dependent No More" and in the workbook in the back, it actually shows the 12 steps in each program, AA, NA, CODA, GAM-ANON, COSA, and ALL of the 12 steps in each of those is almost worded exactly the same, with a few slight changes depending on the addiction it is referring too. I am actually also admitting to myself that I have alcoholic tendencies as well, which definitely stem from my addiction to men and limerence. So yes, I would suggest you look into and work on the 12 steps. My friends who are in NA have actually invited me to their open meetings because they feel it would be useful to me. I am hoping to go to one sometimes soon, and maybe an AA meeting as well. I would also like to look into CODA (Co-Depdendents Anonymous), because I just got out of a co-dependent relationship that I was in for 10 years. Also, I'm 29 years old and divorced. So yeah, crazy life things happen. But we just have to find places for support. I wish there was more support places for limerence, but just being around people who can relate to a lot of what we go through, even if they are addicted to something else. Helps me. Anyway, I hope this helps you. You got this. :ymhug: And I feel for you. I understand.

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3249
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: 12 Step Program?

Post by JupiterTaco » Mon Aug 06, 2018 5:57 pm

LoneAmigo wrote:
Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:08 pm
When I fantasize about my LO, I am happy, inspired, excited, my mind races with other fantasies and ideas, so much so that she actually inspired me to write a book.

- Lone Amigo
Gosh, that's what happened to me!
"How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me, you're the part of me that I don't want to see"-Forget It-Breaking Benjamin

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