Met LO's husband

[peter.rabbit]

My house air conditioner developed problems, I texted my LO and asked her if her husband could recommend a local AC repairman, as he works as an industrial HVAC mechanic. She voice calls me and says her husband will come over right away. He checked the unit, buying the necessary parts and completing the repair. As I assisted him, we got an opportunity to know each other. We got along well, we have similar life experiences, job skills etc.as well as easy going disposition. I noticed that he and I have some physical resemblance; we are the same age. He said that she "talks alot about you" , hmmm. He talked about how she is, her quirks, her "being a woman" stuff and such. An interesting thing: on a couple occasions he told me that he likes to make love with his wife.... I'm not sure what kind of emotion displayed on my face, when he said that.<gulp>

I like her husband, I feel some kind of bond, I shouldn't say this....maybe the bond is both having feelings for the same woman. What a weird life I seem to have.

[ireneadler]

Wow! You were strong, Peter. It’s horrible and wonderful at the same time. Meeting LO’s spouse makes it feel (to me at least) that everything could be “normal”. Plus for me, it was another hit of dopamine. You do have feelings for the same woman. That’s a huge commonality. Maybe he senses that? My husband knows LO and I are close, but he thinks LO is old and ugly, not my type. I let him think that. We have interacted with spouses three times. The first time LO gave me a huge hug in front of his wife and my husband. My husband remarked about it later and I brushed it off that everyone at my work is “happy huggers”. Interestingly, a few months later, LO put down a boundary of no more hugging or touching. This was before I partially disclosed.

Is it a good thing or bad thing to interact with a spouse? I don’t know. I can only manage LC with my LO, which amounts to trying not to chase him and respecting implied boundaries. It does seem like being able to interact with a spouse would be a sign of a healthier relationship. I wish I had more interaction with her to develop empathy. At this point in my LE, I would probably cross physical lines if LO was interested. But on the other hand, I can’t say no to the friendship.

[John]

Peter, also don't overlook the possibility that your LO's husband may be hinting at possibly sharing his wife with you. This is common in as many as one in five relationships. To her SO, it may be the thrill of the taboo, to "empower" his wife and boost her self esteem, or simply porn culture voyeurism, but for many men it is a thrill. Just remember that something like this should be HER decision, not just his.

[L-F]

Peter, also don't overlook the possibility that your LO's husband may be hinting at possibly sharing his wife with you.

Or hinting at swapping wives.
I'm sure he'd find your wife attractive too if you both share the same views on what constitutes attractiveness.

I'd happily do LO and LOs SO in my limerent days.

[peter.rabbit]

Peter, also don't overlook the possibility that your LO's husband may be hinting at possibly sharing his wife with you. ...... Just remember that something like this should be HER decision, not just his.

The thought did occur to me, but I dismissed it as yet another Limerent's fantasy. Yes, being her decision is important.

[peter.rabbit]

Or hinting at swapping wives.
I'm sure he'd find your wife attractive too if you both share the same views on what constitutes attractiveness.

Well that would be a development, and a grand way to complicate one's life by a factor of ^10.

[L-F]

But a fun way



Got to have some humour among all this madness.

Do you think you could all be friends? I'm being serious. Maybe this is a possibility???

[peter.rabbit]

But a fun way



Got to have some humour among all this madness.

Do you think you could all be friends? I'm being serious. Maybe this is a possibility???

I personally would like that, my wife & I have never had friends as a couple before.