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peter.rabbit wrote: ↑Wed Mar 11, 2020 4:29 am
sometimes to the point where I am convinced that I could pull-off disclosure, with positive results.
If you did pull it off, as you have done in the past, would this make her your 4th LO-wife?
@L-F, You seem to have cue'd into my personal history as an 'indictment' of sorts. I feel your judgemental view of that. You've experienced Limerence yourself, I would expect some empathy or at least some understanding. Of course you are "cured" now ...
But no, I don't not wish to make my LO another future ex, I just have that 'disclosure' desire like the rest of ya'all.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
WishMagick wrote: ↑Wed Mar 11, 2020 8:02 pm
Get to know him for who he REALLY is - and encourage myself to actually LOVE him. I mean, real, unselfish love.
Then I can let him go. Finally.
Because when you truly love someone, you can let them go
While I think this is not the most popular strategy around here, it is, for what it's worth, EXACTLY the very same strategy I tried, and I'll keep trying, to follow with LO.
I can't honestly say I'm following this to the letter, but I still think is the way to go, and I'll keep trying to do exactly this.
I know it's not popular, but truly loving people is what I do. That's my thing.
I have a sense that what I feel currently isn't real love. But, with each day that passes, I think of him (I really don't like calling him an object), I just hope that he is well. I hope that he gets everything that he desires for himself and his family. I want nothing but good things for him.
And me sexualizing him and hoping for a sexual affair is NOT good for him! Or his family.
He chooses his wife because that is what makes him happy. That is what he wants. So, that is also what I want for him.
So I will do what he is doing for me - quietly cheering him on in the background. Sending out positive vibes into the Universe for him. Helping him any way I can. If I can do anything to make him happy, I will do it, because I want him to be happy.
He is a very lovable person. This shouldn't be a hard thing to do!
Our goal is to stop sexualizing / romanticizing them. All the other floofy feelings can STAY. Loving someone is the best thing in the world. Even if it's not returned.
I'm now limerence free! Mindfulness & Traditional spiritualism was my "cure".
"Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness."
He has an easy nature about him. Always has a smile for me. We share a dry and shocking sense of humor. He's passionate about his work. He takes the time to learn, simply for the joy of learning. He is able to apologize. He considers me in quiet ways. When he compliments me, it's always genuine and meaningful. He can be quiet about his feelings but opens up in private, if made comfortable to do so. He's a loving father. He's confident without overstepping into arrogance (most of the time). He is patient. When he grins his ears move back in a subtle way. He treats everyone with respect, regardless of hierarchical position. He has a childish side that I find quite endearing. He doesn't often gossip about others. He isn't a bleeding heart.
This list could be very long and far too specific for an open forum, so i'll leave it there. And yes, for anyone who sees this post, I am feeling quite airy today. Limerence has a nasty tendency to rebound. Still, whether I am speaking with LO or not, the above and more remains true. Just needed to get it out somewhere.
"Love is a human religion in which another person is believed in." — Robert Seidenberg
My LO is s good, kind, gentle person. She is extremely polite and cares for other people. She has a quiet charm about her which is very soothing.
I love her voice and she looks great. I can look at her all day!