Why do you like your LO?

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peter.rabbit
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by peter.rabbit »

LovesickRandy wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 3:21 am
DON'T DISCLOSE!!!!!! I would MUCH have her back faking it and laughing with her than knowing she hates me!
I know that being rejected / hated by our LO is a Limerent's worst nightmare, but I wonder: how could anyone hate a person who just confessed to having feelings for them? I have never experienced someone professing their love for me, seems like it would be flattering at least. I can see how it could end up being a 'burdon' to the recipient.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein

LovesickRandy
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by LovesickRandy »

peter.rabbit wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 5:27 am
LovesickRandy wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 3:21 am
DON'T DISCLOSE!!!!!! I would MUCH rather have her back faking my emotions and laughing with her rather than knowing she hates me!
I know that being rejected / hated by our LO is a Limerent's worst nightmare, but I wonder: how could anyone hate a person who just confessed to having feelings for them? I have never experienced someone professing their love for me, seems like it would be flattering at least. I can see how it could end up being a 'burdon' to the recipient.
I think she thinks I was trying to get her to go to have sex with me - which I wasn't. I think she thinks I was completely in control of my actions. Under that context, I don't blame her. Under that context it's creepy that a Boss would have a thing for a 20 year younger employee.
Married - 57 yrs old
LO is single - 37 yrs old - works for me

Raven
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Raven »

Nothing, really.

I have just realised that I felt like I was in love with someone I haven't seen in 21 years and don't even know. I didn't know there was a term for this condition.

I don't know anything about him that I would like. I thought he was good looking and funny back then.

MrSpock
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by MrSpock »

peter.rabbit wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 5:27 am
LovesickRandy wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 3:21 am
DON'T DISCLOSE!!!!!! I would MUCH have her back faking it and laughing with her than knowing she hates me!
I know that being rejected / hated by our LO is a Limerent's worst nightmare
I disclosed about a year ago, and she totally hated me ever since.

Even last night I was kissing everyone "hi" (the way we greet here in Argentina) and she was facing the wall to avoid me. She does stuff like that all the time. Plus I can see in her face how upset she is that I'm there.

It terms of how it feels... is like having your teeth pulled out without any anesthetic!

I've been a bit sad since last night (not too sad, just a little, but enough to noticed it).

However...

I'm not sure if I would call this a Limerent's worst nightmare. At the very least, this "treatment" keeps any fantasy away and if anything, reinforces the fact that we have zero relationship, which is the closest to NC I can be, considering that I have to share a TKD class two times a week.

Hence the teeth analogy.. it hurts, and keeps hurting as I found out last night, but I know it's going to be for the best in the end.

peter.rabbit wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 5:27 am
I wonder: how could anyone hate a person who just confessed to having feelings for them? I have never experienced someone professing their love for me, seems like it would be flattering at least. I can see how it could end up being a 'burdon' to the recipient.
Me too. I wrote about just this on another post recently. I don't get it. I HAD been on the recipient's side lots of times and I never did this to anyone.

Having said that.. I can only assume it has to do with the fact that she's 23 (and single) and I'm 49 (and married).

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WishMagick
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by WishMagick »

MrSpock wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:49 pm
I can only assume it has to do with the fact that she's 23 (and single) and I'm 49 (and married).
A "normal" person wouldn't be angry at that. Or even angry if it were a boss / employee situation. Being angry or feeling actual hatred for someone who confessed loving-type feelings for you is NOT a normal reaction. People who react this way have loads and loads of issues.

It's a good thing these people don't reciprocate! You'd want to stay miles away from someone who takes a tender confession from someone in this way.
I'm Married - with two children
LO is married - with two children
(He lives next door) Partially disclosed. Living la Vida (super) LC.

I'm a SAHM and indie musician. "My unyielding melancholy brings all the existentialists to the yard"

peter.rabbit
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by peter.rabbit »

WishMagick wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:59 pm
Being angry or feeling actual hatred for someone who confessed loving-type feelings for you is NOT a normal reaction. People who react this way have loads and loads of issues.

It's a good thing these people don't reciprocate! You'd want to stay miles away from someone who takes a tender confession from someone in this way.
...I suppose that for the LS it would be the wake-up call to nullify the LE, granting much sought after peace.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein

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WishMagick
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by WishMagick »

peter.rabbit wrote:
Wed Mar 11, 2020 2:56 am
WishMagick wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:59 pm
Being angry or feeling actual hatred for someone who confessed loving-type feelings for you is NOT a normal reaction. People who react this way have loads and loads of issues.

It's a good thing these people don't reciprocate! You'd want to stay miles away from someone who takes a tender confession from someone in this way.
...I suppose that for the LS it would be the wake-up call to nullify the LE, granting much sought after peace.
Absolutely.
I'm Married - with two children
LO is married - with two children
(He lives next door) Partially disclosed. Living la Vida (super) LC.

I'm a SAHM and indie musician. "My unyielding melancholy brings all the existentialists to the yard"

peter.rabbit
Posts: 314
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by peter.rabbit »

My LE has been emotionally exhausting, and has gone pole to pole(kind of "bi-polar"), keeping me off balance, sometimes to the point where I am convinced that I could pull-off disclosure, with positive results. No doubt- disclosure would not gain what I would hope, but I really can't picture her being angry or cold hearted. Coming up of being involuntarily LC, I'm not pining for her, this because I'm getting validation and gaining feeling of self worth from some REAL friendships. Much better than fantasy. I'll see her from time to time, and will always have a special place in my heart for her...
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein

L-F
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by L-F »

WishMagick wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:59 pm
MrSpock wrote:
Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:49 pm
I can only assume it has to do with the fact that she's 23 (and single) and I'm 49 (and married).
A "normal" person wouldn't be angry at that. Or even angry if it were a boss / employee situation. Being angry or feeling actual hatred for someone who confessed loving-type feelings for you is NOT a normal reaction. People who react this way have loads and loads of issues.

It's a good thing these people don't reciprocate! You'd want to stay miles away from someone who takes a tender confession from someone in this way.
Erm............... I'd be bloody minded if my stalker, oogler, googler confessed to me. I'd be scared. Creeped out. And angry as hell. I would feel raped of my boundaries I would feel unsafe and a little traumatized tbh.

So yeah. I empathize with the young lady who I think was younger than 23 when this all started.

If someone oggled me, I probably wouldn't understand it UNTIL they confessed, then all the a-ha moments and red flags would come crashing down.

Tbh, I'd be angry that my 'nice friendly friend' whom I felt I could rely upon, felt safe with, admired and looked up to turned into a monster. I'd feel raped of friend. I'd feel grief and loss. I'd feel confused. I'd feel somehow it was all my fault. I'd feel manipulated and used.

I certainly wouldn't be happy and pretend all is well.
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman

L-F
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by L-F »

peter.rabbit wrote:
Wed Mar 11, 2020 4:29 am
sometimes to the point where I am convinced that I could pull-off disclosure, with positive results.
If you did pull it off, as you have done in the past, would this make her your 4th LO-wife?
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman

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