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Why do you like your LO?

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limewreck
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by limewreck »

Mezzoone wrote:
Wed Aug 28, 2019 1:32 am
Wow Limewreck. I think I want my LO to rescue me. The way you described what you want to give to your LO, that’s exactly what I’m always seeking from LO. To be seen and appreciated in ways I feel like the world misses. I think my LO is the only one who could really understand or get the depth of things I feel or think. I just thought that was interesting... that we’re both the limerent ones but have exact opposite needs from our LO. *sigh*
Maybe it's not all that different. I think both of us want to be especially valued for who we are. In the story I tell myself, the "who I am" is someone who sees, loves, and values deeply. On some level, I want to be rewarded for that by getting to see that it matters, that it brings life to someone I care for. It sounds sort of noble, but I'm afraid it's more selfish. *echoed sigh*

Anonguest

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Anonguest »

This. Every word. Thank you for this. This is my experience. It has taken me 25 years to work it out and I can't say I'm all the way there but understanding it helped me to come to terms with it better. This is the perfect description.



Lococktail wrote:


> I wish I knew. It's like a mystery to me. You can't really explain it. But
> here's the recipe, I think.
>
> I would say first ingredient is there must be attraction from the first
> moment. I could go on and on about my LO's face, his height, the way he
> smells, his teeth (odd, I know), his shoulders, his hair, his body, his
> smile, his laugh, his voice, his hands, his mannerisms, his skin, his
> style......
>
> But while the initial attraction draws you in at first, the second
> ingredient is probably the most important. You like their mind and
> personality. You have experiences in common. Maybe similar traumas or past
> failures? This person understands you and shares a similar sense of humor.
> There is something about him or her that you admire.
>
> Third. What usually seals the deal is that you think they like you too.
> This person seeks you out somehow, or at least seems to enjoy your company.
> Maybe this person takes a personal risk to pursue a relationship with you.
>
> Fourth. You feel like you're walking on air when you're with this person.
> Time condenses. This is nothing more than a chemical reaction designed to
> get two people to mate. Dopamine.
>
> The final ingredient is some kind of barrier that prevents both of you from
> really telling the other one how you really feel. Classic intermittent
> reinforcement ensues. The body is confused by your failure to consummate.
> It pumps out more and more hormones to make you do stupid things. Sometimes
> you fall off the wagon, but then you get back on.
>
> Prevention of consummation creates this infinite loop of the "highs
> and lows" that others here have described. It is a chemical addiction
> to a person, and nobody else on the planet can give that to you - only your
> LO. It's your own LO Cocktail, created in a lab, just for you.
>
> What limerents need to realize is that if there were no barriers, this
> person, your LO, would no longer give you those highs and lows. A lot of
> people say no contact is the way to go, but I think often doing the
> opposite is the best cure. Destroying the fantasy and putting it all out
> there is the best way to destroy this disease, whether it's through
> rejection, consummation, or otherwise. I have yet to hear one story of
> limerents getting together and having limerence for the rest of their
> lives. It just doesn't happen. Limerence is basically stunted NRE. You get
> stuck in hormonal cocktail hell. Your drug is the LO, there is no other
> source.
>
> So while others argue on here that it's fake and not real, I strongly
> disagree. It IS real. It's one of the most amazing experiences you'll ever
> have in your life. It feels so great, like cocaine. Because it's NRE on
> steroids. I wish someone would do a scientific study on hormone levels of
> people with limerence. We already know that NRE induces hormonal shifts
> (higher estrogen in women and testosterone in men). I can only imagine what
> a limerent's hormonal profile would look like. When I was at my worst, men
> were coming on to me in droves.
>
> So the truth is there is probably nothing special about your LO, except
> that they have become special to YOU due to the aforementioned chemical
> processes.

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Xaphan
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Xaphan »

The question of why I like(d) my current LO is one I've never really been able to answer - this LE started seemingly out of nowhere, on somebody I had never spoken to or seen in my life. I guess for this one its about physical appearance. I could spend a day writing about her smile or her hair or how she can look good in any outfit, but if somebody were to ask what about her as a person I liked (outside of attraction) I would draw a complete blank because she was high on the narc scale and somebody I'd want to not interact with at all had she not been my LO.

It wasn't like this for my other two LEs. My first one who I met online, we had/have a lot of mutual interests and could always have interesting non-awkward conversations even within the first hours after I gave her FD. The second one, who I transferred to after the first one, was just generally a warm and friendly person whose energy I felt safe and calm in; even on the very first day I met this girl (before she became an LO) I felt safe to open up about some more personal issues I had.

In general I think I tend to gravitate towards cute girls rather than hot ones, and I like people who make me feel welcomed and happy inside.
Xaphan, the limerent clown :ymparty:

moonbeams1225
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by moonbeams1225 »

I want mine sexually so bad I can’t stand it. I get turned on just by hearing his voice, seeing his face, brushing up against him. It’s gotten so bad that I fantasize about restraining him and just having my way with him.
Married with co-worker LO My current goal: NC until he gives me the attention I want ( never went longer than 4 days :-o and whenever I feel like contacting him, I will come here.

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WishMagick
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by WishMagick »

moonbeams1225 wrote:
Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:03 pm
I want mine sexually so bad I can’t stand it. I get turned on just by hearing his voice, seeing his face, brushing up against him. It’s gotten so bad that I fantasize about restraining him and just having my way with him.
I could have written this same thing! =))

Sexual attraction to my current LO is the #1 thing
It's seriously the strongest I've had for someone so far - because he reminds me of my biggest celebrity crush.

And then I like other things about him. I realized the other day that all the things I like about him, are also things I possess. It was a real eye opener!
I'm Married - with two children
LO is married - with two children
(He lives next door) Partially disclosed. Living la Vida (super) LC.

I'm a SAHM and indie musician. "My unyielding melancholy brings all the existentialists to the yard"

Limey
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Limey »

Our conversations are unique. Despite a big age gap and different lifestyles we seem to be on a similar wave length. He's perceptive and always seems to know what's driving me, even before I do. It's uncanny. I just love him to pieces and have from the beginning. It's not a sexual attraction. For me, the mind fuck is far more alluring.
"You can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness"

lostsheep

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by lostsheep »

I wrote a letter to mine the other day about why I like her. Not one she'll ever read, but I find it helpful to write down what I'm feeling. After a couple of days I read what I had written and some of it seemed quite juvenile. I could see how much of a pedestal I am putting her on, and that some of those qualities were exaggerated. I am beginning to see the incompatibility and how I ignore certain personality traits that would drive me mad.

I met with her the other day for a cup of tea and even as I was driving to meet I started thinking 'what am I doing? This is crazy!'

But guess what? The feelings are all still there, I can't wait to get that text, anything she says I over analyse for signs of reciprocity, I obsessively check if she's online, which is mad because so what if she is? I still can't stop thinking about her to a debilitating level but I can see what is. I can see it's not real (not the limerence, that's real alright), it's an extremely intense obsessive fantasy driven by powerful hormones and chemicals in the body. This realisation is ultimately what stops me making any stupid moves, like the big romantic reveal, which would be awful.

Anyway, I've gone a bit of topic (felt good though) but the point is that by writing down everything I like about her exposed some of the naivety of my feelings and put more of the focus on the biological process behind all this.

Don
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Don »

I think it was novelty. She simply had and abundance of physical characteristics that I was attracted to. Then add in a compassionate, caring, understanding and empathetic personality and you had a captivating individual. Finally we had some common interests. What we did not have in common was an interest in each other. It was all me, with an interest in her.

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WishMagick
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by WishMagick »

Don wrote:
Fri Jan 10, 2020 9:00 pm
I think it was novelty. She simply had and abundance of physical characteristics that I was attracted to. Then add in a compassionate, caring, understanding and empathetic personality and you had a captivating individual. Finally we had some common interests. What we did not have in common was an interest in each other. It was all me, with an interest in her.
this sounds like my situation
I'm Married - with two children
LO is married - with two children
(He lives next door) Partially disclosed. Living la Vida (super) LC.

I'm a SAHM and indie musician. "My unyielding melancholy brings all the existentialists to the yard"

RAC

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by RAC »

Mainly physical attraction at first. Then her vulnerabilities made me want to protect her. She’s generally quite unpopular at work but I thought we had a special connection and I could see something others couldn’t. I’m starting to think I was wrong as i try to come out of limerence!

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