Discussion related to all forms of addictions.
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:08 am
I know this is not a healthy idea, but I honestly feel that there is less shame in being an alcoholic or drug addict than being limerant. There is just such a pathetic nature to it. LO's respond in 3 ways that I've noticed--they are disgusted and turned off by the neediness, they want to exploit it, or (worst of all), they feel pity. I absolutely hate the way I act because of this. It fills me with shame. Could it be as simple as drinking a shot every time I think of my LO?
- Posts: 361
- Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:17 am
As someone who is a little too fond of the booze I can say Nooooooooooooooooo.
Limerence is horrible but it is possible to learn and to come out stronger and a better person.
Same doesn't apply to booze.
Hang on in there.
- Posts: 1327
- Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:09 am
I feel you, Rosegirl, I really do. Your post made me LOL, and I needed that! I never thought of the different ways an LO can respond, but that sounds pretty right to me. Mine did want the attention, and did exploit, to some extent. I am fighting like all "get-out" to stay away from this man. He doesn't contact me, or hasn't in a long time...so that makes it easier. It does have a pathetic/lame feel to it all...my attempts to get attention from him. And I can't take the shot/pill/anything bc I am a recovering addict/alcoholic. At the moment, I'm noticing things that make my life meaningful and exciting...and I am FINALLY beginning to realize that it won't be "dopamine excitement" like I'm used to, but nevertheless, something's gotta give.
to you .
ex-LO, 51 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)
- Posts: 77
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2019 3:14 pm
There is no substituting addictions, only adding them. I agree that limerence can be more damaging than other additions, especially to a marriage. The best thing I'm aware of is NC.
- Posts: 1984
- Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:42 pm
John wrote: ↑
Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:39 am
There is no substituting addictions, only adding them.
...and as has been noted before, limerence at least might be recognized as a/the "core" addiction since it's pointing to a broken or damaged relationship apparatus. As Gabor Mate and others have noted, chemical and process addictions are likely rooted in damaged/damaging relationships as well, but the mechanism for soothing in those cases is chemical, situational, or procedural.
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...."~ The Wizard of Oz
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Sun Sep 09, 2018 2:57 am
Has anyone tried any treatment plans to heal from limerence?
Maybe like a 12-step program for codependency or something of that nature.
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