Adverse Childhood Experiences ACEs

A section on how we were parented and how we parent our own children (where relevant). It is likely that much of the origins of our Limerence start in childhood, this is an important sub-forum.
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L-F
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Adverse Childhood Experiences ACEs

Post by L-F »

Here are a couple of clips which show how stress in a child's life can alter their ability to regulate emotions. This is important to consider given a lot of limerents (self included), find it difficult negotiating the 'loved up' feeling of limerence. When I understood how the past had an impact on my ability process limerence, I was able to work thru both (my past traumas/hurts and limerence itself). Limerence in my opinion is something that we unconsciously transfer to our children making them susceptible to experiencing limerence. We transfer it through the many wonderfully unhealthy ways of dealing with emotions - avoidance, denial, etc. In other words, we teach our children how to behave without them necessarily being subjected to unhealthy stressors such as violence.

***** trigger warning***** even though it's a cartoon, the background noise may be unsettling for some

Last edited by L-F on Wed Dec 18, 2019 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman

L-F
Posts: 3072
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Adverse Childhood Experiences ACEs

Post by L-F »

Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman

L-F
Posts: 3072
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Adverse Childhood Experiences ACEs

Post by L-F »

Facing intergenerational trauma head on is difficult, especially admitting that we may also play a part (with our very own coping mechanisms potentially being passed on). If we don't know how to process our emotions in a healthy way (limerence highlights the way we cope, and in most cases it is far from healthy) then we can't expect our children to.

But all is not lost. When I learned new healthier ways to cope with emotions, limerence faded, so too did my dysfunctional way of relating to the family. Win/win. Thank god for this forum for setting me on that path. I can now role model healthier ways to cope *emotionally* even during trickier, demanding, and triggering situations. I'm still learning all thanks to these forums. I can even be friends with LO. After all, it never was personal, it was all about my ability to cope with all these crazy feelings.
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman

Don
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Re: Adverse Childhood Experiences ACEs

Post by Don »

Good stuff! Thanks for posting. We are all at different stages in our experience. So many people on this forum are struggling. I greatly appreciate these little insights on what is helping some to heal and move forward. All the best on your journey.

L-F
Posts: 3072
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Adverse Childhood Experiences ACEs

Post by L-F »

We can only take what resonates with us as individuals since we've all had different upbringings. The second clip was really informative in terms of epigenetics and other things to take into consideration.
Best of luck on your journey Don.
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman

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