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Let's get back to basics....

How to improve a long term relationship and keep it alive, healthy and growing. Just like tending a garden.
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Joanna 2
Posts: 45
Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:30 pm

Let's get back to basics....

Post by Joanna 2 » Fri Oct 20, 2017 9:06 pm

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Last edited by Joanna 2 on Sat Dec 02, 2017 8:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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FreeBird
Posts: 473
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 12:51 am
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United States of America

Re: Let's get back to basics....

Post by FreeBird » Fri Oct 20, 2017 10:53 pm

Ooohhh, intriguing :-? I like this! Let me soak this in for a minute

FairIsFoul
Posts: 53
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2017 8:19 am
Location: Burbank, CA

Re: Let's get back to basics....

Post by FairIsFoul » Tue Oct 24, 2017 7:20 pm

My DW and I have always felt like we are a complementary pair -- we each have qualities the other lacks. I'm big picture, she is details; I get things done quickly, she does them thoroughly; I see what we'd like to do, she brings it down to earth to what we CAN do. It's not quite an "authority/power" balance, like you describe, but I think you're on to something as far as balance. A relationship has to be balanced or it topples.

And writing this just made me see my marriage in a different way -- that perhaps we are out-of-balance. Interesting.

Not the point of your post, but your post just pointed me in a direction. Stuff to think about ... So, thank you. ;-)

Cookie
Posts: 393
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:08 pm
United States of America

Re: Let's get back to basics....

Post by Cookie » Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:00 pm

Hmm...

People with spinal cord injuries often find a way to modify their environments so they can be fully functional. They are compensating for the parts that have been lost. We invent things to help them become non-reliant. I think for me at this point, I look at non-reliance as the goal. I don't want to be dependent on another person to complete me or the household.

Your point re: power/authority and needing each other is good in theory. But I'm not sure it's a one size fits all. I know some really strong women (and men) who are doing just fine without an other half. Once in a relationship though, yes, it helps to have balance and stress ensues when it's lopsided in any way.
Female, age 52
Limerent for as long as I can remember
Have had 7 "real" LOs in the last 25 years
Current LO is male, age 44, married AND has another GF!

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