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dancing together

How to improve a long term relationship and keep it alive, healthy and growing. Just like tending a garden.
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FreeBird
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dancing together

Post by FreeBird » Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:25 am

I've been looking for ways to reconnect with my DH after a year of us emotionally isolating ourselves. He had shut down emotionally due to grief and I checked out mentally with limerence.

A few Saturdays ago, after we returned home from running errands, I came into the house and turned on the radio to the R&B Quiet Storm station. I usually head straight upstairs to take a nap after a long day out. This time I grabbed his hand and said, "Dance with me". He laughed a little and said, "I'm not a good dancer." I told him, "Neither am I. Let's dance badly together." We basically just slowly spun around and around, completely off-beat to the music, and stepped on each others feet. It was fun.

What made this a tiny victory for me is the song that came on happens to be on my go-to limerent playlist. All those songs I dedicated in my heart to ExLO, don't belong to him. I'm the one who "assigned" those songs to him.

Will we dance every day or every Saturday? No, but it's nice to know that we still want to dance with each other.

Ivanhoe
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Re: dancing together

Post by Ivanhoe » Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:30 am

Speaking as someone familiar with grief and limerence - sounds like you have found the perfect way to move forward.

Might I suggest taking dancing lessons in your home, just the two of you, lessons on you TV or computer, three nights a week for 15 minutes, regularly scheduled as just for fun!
65 (feel 50); Male

"Grief makes children of us all. Any intellectual difference is destroyed. The wisest know nothing."
- Emerson

Maddie
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Re: dancing together

Post by Maddie » Wed Jun 13, 2018 2:01 am

Freebird, that is awesome!! Thanks for sharing.
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

Havb
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Saint-Martin (French part)

Re: dancing together

Post by Havb » Wed Jun 13, 2018 2:54 am

Dancing is a wonderful way to reconnect :x congrats Freebird!
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

There is always more work to be done.

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FreeBird
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Re: dancing together

Post by FreeBird » Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:09 am

Thanks everyone :ymhug:

mamasita
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Re: dancing together

Post by mamasita » Wed Jun 13, 2018 2:35 pm

Well what song was it? :x
I love that you danced with your husband, whether either of you are good at it or not.
Music has always been a way that my DH and I connect. We have entertained our children for years with spontaneous Saturday afternoon dance sessions in the living room. I'm happy for you that you could bring yourselves together over a song that once triggered happy/sad/longing feelings of the old Free Bird.

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FreeBird
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Re: dancing together

Post by FreeBird » Wed Jun 13, 2018 4:49 pm

An 80s classic: Tender Love by Force MDs ;)

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