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Shameless basking

For those not quite ready to start looking at their limerence as a condition that needs working on.
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Maddie
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by Maddie » Wed Oct 23, 2019 8:09 pm

And thank you, Angel, Bridget, and Acro. :ymhug:

yes, Angel....it's something that is so thrilling, but yes, destructive. if I weren't married with children, it would be so different. However, even being single, it would probably be fraught with emotional disturbances too.

Acro...I never thought about it that way...thank you!!
40, F
ex-LO, 51 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

L-F
Posts: 2804
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United States of America

Re: Shameless basking

Post by L-F » Thu Oct 24, 2019 1:43 am

Maddie wrote:
Tue Oct 22, 2019 6:40 pm
Haters, stay back, I'm about to get down. F*ck shame.

=))

I remember asking to set up this part of the forum so posters could bask. Bask away :ymhug:
"What we all want, really, is to be loved.
That craving drives our worst behavior." Jodi Picoult
@};-

marko
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by marko » Thu Oct 24, 2019 3:43 pm

To bask for a second. The LO is still the last person to compliment me, the last who cared to have deep conversation, and actually understand topics beyond the current post modern world. That out of no where 1yr connection with a total stranger and we where like life long friends--I miss it, and I hate it.

Maddie
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by Maddie » Thu Oct 24, 2019 8:08 pm

marko wrote:
Thu Oct 24, 2019 3:43 pm
--I miss it, and I hate it.
So very true, Marko. who wouldn't miss that...?
40, F
ex-LO, 51 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

Acrobatica
Posts: 604
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France

Re: Shameless basking

Post by Acrobatica » Thu Oct 24, 2019 8:22 pm

Oooo. Oooo. Now I want to bask too.

The person who I am currently thinking about too much, but who is NOT an LO, because we actually had a short intense relationship, he went back to EX GF mom of his kid, but still continues to seek me out for conversation, totally platonic child-like playtime, and mobility exercises, just finished his artistic project for me. Ok Ok it was music for an upcoming performance. And it is fucking beautiful. I played it for my company, and I started to go a little loopy with lust and admiration for this piece of music. And though I have to perform to it in just over a week, I can barely stand to listen to it without erupting into orgasmic bliss, weeping depression, and jealous anger. A lot of fucking emotion. All at once.

I think that might make for a really great performance, if I don't spontaneously combust first.

He's a wonderful musician. And I feel like I just got the best gift of my life.

Why or why can't we have sex anymore??? Interspersed with loopy conversation and music. Stupid stupid staying together for the sake of the children.

JupiterTaco
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by JupiterTaco » Thu Oct 24, 2019 10:18 pm

Oh Maddie. :ymhug:
"The mind is like a muscle. If you want it to be really powerful you've gotta work it out!"-Louanne Johnson, Dangerous Minds

AnnieKaye9924
Posts: 293
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Canada

Re: Shameless basking

Post by AnnieKaye9924 » Fri Oct 25, 2019 1:03 pm

Maddie wrote:
Wed Oct 23, 2019 6:27 pm
AnnieKaye9924 wrote:
Tue Oct 22, 2019 11:33 pm

My LO pursued me hard for months. It was like a dream come true. But it was still NEVER ENOUGH!!!! We are both married; it was all that it could be...and yet I wanted more.
You summed it up for me, AK. thank you. The married part, especially. WTF am I doing? All it would take is a simple "I can't do this" to the LO!

All I have to do is say, "I cant do this." easy, right?
I said it & that aspect of our relationship is over IRL but the drama plays on in my head....

AnnieKaye9924
Posts: 293
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2019 8:22 pm
Canada

Re: Shameless basking

Post by AnnieKaye9924 » Fri Oct 25, 2019 1:04 pm

Acrobatica wrote:
Tue Oct 22, 2019 11:48 pm
I have always thought there were feelings on both sides of a limerent experience when there is an actual relationship/friendship.

We aren’t getting these feelings from nowhere.

I think the difference is in a normal situation, both parties go, cool. We’re into each other. But it is not meant to be because of X or Y reason. But in an LE, LS has low self esteem and can’t believe LO likes them. And LO also has low self esteem or a PD and loves the attention, rather than being weirded out by it. Games are played and LS (and maybe LO) get put through the emotional ringer.
Yes, yes, yes. Saw where you said this on another thread as well. Low self esteem is a key ingredient, which I have in spades.

Maddie
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by Maddie » Fri Oct 25, 2019 8:08 pm

Acrobatica wrote:
Thu Oct 24, 2019 8:22 pm
Oooo. Oooo. Now I want to bask too.

The person who I am currently thinking about too much, but who is NOT an LO, because we actually had a short intense relationship, he went back to EX GF mom of his kid, but still continues to seek me out for conversation, totally platonic child-like playtime, and mobility exercises, just finished his artistic project for me. Ok Ok it was music for an upcoming performance. And it is fucking beautiful. I played it for my company, and I started to go a little loopy with lust and admiration for this piece of music. And though I have to perform to it in just over a week, I can barely stand to listen to it without erupting into orgasmic bliss, weeping depression, and jealous anger. A lot of fucking emotion. All at once.

I think that might make for a really great performance, if I don't spontaneously combust first.

He's a wonderful musician. And I feel like I just got the best gift of my life.

Why or why can't we have sex anymore??? Interspersed with loopy conversation and music. Stupid stupid staying together for the sake of the children.
That sounds like a powerful piece of music! The best gift being the music? Even though he's not an LO, sounds like you do miss what you guys had going on ....
40, F
ex-LO, 51 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

Maddie
Posts: 1273
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:09 am
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Shameless basking

Post by Maddie » Fri Oct 25, 2019 8:26 pm

Earlier this week we agreed to meet next week. I am sick over it. I feel compelled to, but really don't want to. Isn't that odd?!

Is it that I want to feel desired? I think it is.but I have to remember what Acro said...despite my OBVIOUS low self-esteem, I am worthy. I cut myself down big-time in what I say to myself. I call myself terrible names!

I told him I'd contact him over the weekend about the specifics (meeting next week) and he says he'll just contact me Monday, as he will be away at a deer camp and will not have service....sounds mighty suspicious...so jealousy ensues....I keep thinking, he has the right to do any damn thing he pleases....however, I'd like to know what/who he's doing, so to speak...and of course, he could be telling the truth. :-? I am telling myself right now that if I cant take the emotions and take the terms as they've been laid out....then, I just need to live and let live. This limerence is a fucking liar. it keeps telling me that we'll be the best of friends, maybe even be together one day. I almost cant tell the truth from the false in this situation.

Wonder if I should tell him that I want a real relationship with him exclusively. Or tell him that "limerence is the mental condition that we have." =)) maybe these two things alone will be enough to scare him away. but why should I put him in the position of setting boundaries? or, what if he calls my bluff and says that he wants a relationship with me too. That would just be cruel, as I'm not prepared to leave. How freaking hard can it be to "just say no" /to resist/to be honest/to ignore/to put off??

Hence the impossible relationship.

* Please do not copy*
40, F
ex-LO, 51 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

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