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Shameless basking

For those not quite ready to start looking at their limerence as a condition that needs working on.
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Maddie
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Shameless basking

Post by Maddie » Tue Oct 22, 2019 6:40 pm

Haters, stay back, I'm about to get down. F*ck shame.

Ahhhhh....the feeling of knowing he feels the same. He confirmed this today. Rather than looking at this as something like...oh, I should be so ashamed! No. NOt today. An alternative perspective: this is a goal that I have reached. I have posted nearly 1000 times about this man. I have worked hard. Countless hours of thinking of this person. A feeling like no other.

And I pray I never have another experience like it =))
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

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NoDayDreaming
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by NoDayDreaming » Tue Oct 22, 2019 7:03 pm

not a hater myself (I hope), but a reminder, that what goes up will go down. in LE, euphoria is followed by a depression.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

Maddie
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by Maddie » Tue Oct 22, 2019 8:13 pm

You are right, DD. And only an hour or so later, I'm re-reading his message and wondering...is his level of crazy EXACTLY the same as mine? LOL. Or did I even read into that?

And yes, now I feel a tad bit guilty for my earlier feelings. But that was just where I was at. Chasing a high. Will it ever be good enough?
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

mamasita
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by mamasita » Tue Oct 22, 2019 8:41 pm

=)) I love you Maddie, this is funny!!

Not a hater, but let me say this...following my embarrassing disclosure, LO kept telling me "me too!" and "same here" and even said at one point "I had a HUGE crush on you" /:)
"HAD"??

Okay, admittedly, I heard him say HAD at the time but there was SO much other reciprocation type stuff being said that I was washed away in bliss and happiness...OMG, he likes me LIKE I LIKE HIM!! :ymparty:

But yes, the crash came. His actions have NEVER matched his words. I believed in his words until they stopped having meaning because he never followed through. If he felt just like me then I could list a HUNDRED things that WE would have done together. But we haven't.

That doesn't mean that your LO doesn't feel some of what you feel...but I think you know that its not to the extreme of joining a message board in hopes that you can stop obsessing about him. Often times they have figured out what we want to hear. And they say it to keep the attention where they want it.

Since this is the basking post though....the LO is a fine azz man. :ymdaydream:

Maddie
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by Maddie » Tue Oct 22, 2019 11:25 pm

Awwwww....Mamasita :x

=)) bask away...keep it real.

Anywho. It did not take but a couple hours to bounce back into reality. Ugh! Here goes:

Yes, he probably knows what I like to hear and...despite what I originally thought...there is no amount of physical stuff between us that will connect us in the way I was/am hoping. Just leaves me feeling cheap and I am the one I have to live with. In other words, there's no possible way to make this into a love story. but the limerent just keeps on a tryin...
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

AnnieKaye9924
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by AnnieKaye9924 » Tue Oct 22, 2019 11:33 pm

I relate to so much of this.

Obviously we don’t know what his message said but I find myself doing the same thing...I think “oh he feels the same way!” Then i begin second-guessing, “well, maybe he meant that in a completely platonic way....” 🙄🙄🙄

My LO pursued me hard for months. It was like a dream come true. But it was still NEVER ENOUGH!!!! We are both married; it was all that it could be...and yet I wanted more.

Bridget
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by Bridget » Tue Oct 22, 2019 11:39 pm

Maddie,

There is a part of me that wants the happy, fairy-tale ending for someone on this forum. I won't hate! But be careful.

Acrobatica
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by Acrobatica » Tue Oct 22, 2019 11:48 pm

I have always thought there were feelings on both sides of a limerent experience when there is an actual relationship/friendship.

We aren’t getting these feelings from nowhere.

I think the difference is in a normal situation, both parties go, cool. We’re into each other. But it is not meant to be because of X or Y reason. But in an LE, LS has low self esteem and can’t believe LO likes them. And LO also has low self esteem or a PD and loves the attention, rather than being weirded out by it. Games are played and LS (and maybe LO) get put through the emotional ringer.

So Maddie. Of course he likes you. You are a desirable worthy person. As a desirable worthy person that knows you deserve someone like him, and maybe even someone better, enjoy it and figure out the best course of action for your own desirable and worthy life.

Angel
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by Angel » Wed Oct 23, 2019 9:15 am

No hate from me for sure.

Basking right there with you....and also never wanting to go through this again!

Maddie
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Re: Shameless basking

Post by Maddie » Wed Oct 23, 2019 6:27 pm

AnnieKaye9924 wrote:
Tue Oct 22, 2019 11:33 pm

My LO pursued me hard for months. It was like a dream come true. But it was still NEVER ENOUGH!!!! We are both married; it was all that it could be...and yet I wanted more.
You summed it up for me, AK. thank you. The married part, especially. WTF am I doing? All it would take is a simple "I can't do this" to the LO! Would it be just like ripping off a Band-Aid?
And why would there be so much pain in that?- in my case, the LO is someone I was physically attracted to following his intense interest in me (like being struck by intense lust that would NOT leave). this started Dec 2017. He was married at the time, and he informed me in May of this year (when I broke NC) that she left him...
We didn't actually develop a friendship (I'm pretty sure 'secret friendships' aren't friendships...? )
We say we love each other. It's confusing.

All I have to do is say, "I cant do this." easy, right?
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

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