Gym Infatuation

[cathymiller]

Just wanted to thank you for having this forum on the subject of Limerence. Previously I just thought I was crazy. I am a middle age suburbanite. My husband signed me up to join a gym after our last child had left for college. I started going very regularly since I suddenly had a lot of free time. I saw a man I thought was terrifying at first. He looked like a Hell's Angel -- not my type at all. However, upon someone else introducing us I started to think he was attractive. Then I found myself being very aware of where he was at all times while at the gym. I found myself unable to speak to him, couldn't think of anything we had in common and spent most of the time carefully being on the opposite side of wherever he was. But then I'd finish up, leave and spend the rest of the day wondering what he was doing.

It went on and on for months until one day he announced to me (I think) -- this is ridiculous. After that I never saw him again. I was kind of grateful because there was always a thick layer of sexual tension whenever he was there -- which was maddening as I was never sure if it was only in my head or was it mutual? Anyway I knew I absolutely could not act on my feelings since I was married and I knew I would lose everything if we got involved. But, of course, I desperately wanted him but since the world is full of cell phones, cameras and security devices there was no way I could get away with an intense sexual affair. Several weeks after it became apparent that he wasn't coming back, I sank into a deep depression. Suddenly I understood how addiction worked -- if you don't get your fix, you go crazy. I read advice columns that said to keep yourself busy. So I did but really nothing but the passing of time helped.

Still wonder what he's doing. Wonder if he ever thinks of me. And I will just have to live with not knowing. But at least I know I'm not crazy and I'm not alone. So from this mystified broken heart, I say thank you.

[JupiterTaco]

With all those chemicals coursing through your body at the gym, I can imagine it's worse. Welcome to the forum!