I’ve been Limerant for nearly a year now . It’s been a real rollercoaster. I had a brief meet with lo and then I was rejected . I keep seeing his dating profile and it brings up some bad feelings. I’m so much better than I was . But I am just not fully there yet . I’ve been focusing on trying to meet other guys ( virtually as it practically impossible to date at the mo ).
I just know the final thing will be me looking him up one day and he will have a girlfriend / wife . It’s pathetic really . I feel like there’s an imaginary race and I hope I meet someone first . Of course there is no race . I wish I could reach full acceptance . I seriously never want to get limerant again .
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Do I want to get better?
Do I want to get better?
Last edited by Raven11 on Mon Jan 25, 2021 10:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Do I want to get better?
@raven11
I relate to your pain and sadness. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not tempted to "have a look" at what my LO is up too and it frightens me to no ends what I might discover. A part of me just wants to make sure she is ok and happy as I do love her very much and genuinely want the very best for her and her SO as well as family. Another part of me is terrified of how I will actually feel and if it will trigger a major depression again.
I am 18 months out and have gone about 1 month with zero contact and she no longer reaches out to me to see if I am ok. I have responded to let her know I am about a month ago as it is the right thing to do, but I also said that in truth it is very difficult for me to be in contact. What I am doing to cope is read, read, read about LIM and gain strength through forums like this The irony is....like you...I am not entirely sure I want to get better. I think its because I want to have some kind of feeling even if it is not a good feeling. It seems better than being indifferent in a way. The fact is LO's have such a big impact on our lives and I don't think we will ever really fully escape wanting to know how they are doing and if they think of us anymore or not. A reality that I have come to embrace is not about LIM going away in my case as much as learning to live with it -like an addict does in recovery or even how a diabetic learns to live with a life long disease. You find a way. I want to find a way not only for me, but for my LO as I am confident in my case she wants to best for me as well. Once I get past wanting proof of that I think I will be better off.
I relate to your pain and sadness. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not tempted to "have a look" at what my LO is up too and it frightens me to no ends what I might discover. A part of me just wants to make sure she is ok and happy as I do love her very much and genuinely want the very best for her and her SO as well as family. Another part of me is terrified of how I will actually feel and if it will trigger a major depression again.
I am 18 months out and have gone about 1 month with zero contact and she no longer reaches out to me to see if I am ok. I have responded to let her know I am about a month ago as it is the right thing to do, but I also said that in truth it is very difficult for me to be in contact. What I am doing to cope is read, read, read about LIM and gain strength through forums like this The irony is....like you...I am not entirely sure I want to get better. I think its because I want to have some kind of feeling even if it is not a good feeling. It seems better than being indifferent in a way. The fact is LO's have such a big impact on our lives and I don't think we will ever really fully escape wanting to know how they are doing and if they think of us anymore or not. A reality that I have come to embrace is not about LIM going away in my case as much as learning to live with it -like an addict does in recovery or even how a diabetic learns to live with a life long disease. You find a way. I want to find a way not only for me, but for my LO as I am confident in my case she wants to best for me as well. Once I get past wanting proof of that I think I will be better off.
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“A thing can be true and not the truth,”
― Kristin Hannah, The Great Alone
“A thing can be true and not the truth,”
― Kristin Hannah, The Great Alone
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