Those of you who are limerent, do you still enjoy sex with your SO?

[Peaceseeker123]

@Lindsay @Maddie - +1 here. Feeling absolutely the same! Sex with husband feels awkward and I am often just pretending I am having fun while in fact I am never aroused. At the same just looking or even thinking of LO makes me feel crazy, I am ready to rip his clothes off and be wild...I am feeling so guilty,my husband is a good person and doesn't deserve it...

[Framed]

I am in the same boat!

My SO is one of those people who can't connect on an emotional level. He could be having sex with me or an inflatable doll, won't know the difference. On the other hand, I am a proper dreamer. I believe in connection of body, mind and soul.
I feel like I will never know true pleasure.

[Mezzer]

I am a man, no longer limerent nor depressed. I left my SO because I felt the love had gone. Its interesting how personal hygiene is sited as an issue.

My SO also did not wash herself properly down there nor bothered to tend the garden. Its a matter of respect for me, I would never engage in sex without doing my partner the courtesy of ensuring I was clean.

Ultimately it was down to the fact my SO subconsciously used it as a way to deter me. She is not a very sexual person.

However once I left she changed dramatically, I think she realised that she had taken me for granted.

I had also formed a relationship with a new person and jealousy also gave her a kick up the bum. The new relationship didn't work out and I agreed to give things another go.

Sex is OK, but I don't think it will ever be the same again. Ultimately im ok with this if we can build a solid respectful relationship away from the bedroom. I want a friend foremost, a partnership of equals. Im done looking after her, she needs to put in as much as she takes out.

She is trying and so for that im trying too. Limerence was a very painful candle that shone a light on what was missing in my marriage

[Limlife]

@Mezzer Interesting to know about your situation.
Have you thought about why your other relationship did not work even though you had limerent attraction? Why are you unable to leave your SO and find a new person, or even be on your own?

Just asking these questions because I am unable to leave my GF. Don't know why, but I just can't leave her!

GF and I have good compatibility, however our sex life was never good. Well, not for me atleast!
We go through the motions but no intensity, no heat. I am a man so maybe I am always expected to do the "hard work" but sometimes you want to be treated well too, GF is too lazy to do anything about it.

We have broken up twice before, but we got back together each time. Now I feel like I will never be able to break away from her.
(Maybe if LO was available, I could have. But my LO is married, so no chance.)

[Mezzer]

My LO relationship was an un mitigated disaster, my personal view is a healthy relationship can never emerge from limerence, the bar is just too high.

I had a subsequent relationship with another lady but sadly she was wounded from past relationships and I was not the one to help her heal. A lovely woman who I miss, but so badly wounded I was incapable of a healthy relationship with her.

I chose to try again with my SO because I have children and she has acknowledged my sadness her behaviour has caused. She has made an effort and I want to try to rebuild for my children. It is now my choice, I feel strong after my LE and know that I need no one, but choose to be with SO, if the relationship does not move towards equal partners I will strike out my own with the knowledge I tried my best.

[ABCD]

Have you tried fantasisng that the person you making love with is your LO?

If you know cognitively that you want to be with and having sex wih your SO, but your romantic mind wants your LO, fantasising about your LO might feel like a betrayal, but you're only tricking your mind into allowing you to do what you really want.

You want to feel what you feel for your LO for your SO, but your brain wont allow that and its not something you can help. So do what you need to trick your brain into allowing you to access those feelings when with your LO.

Remember, its the feeling you want, not the person. The person you want is your SO, but your brain wont allow that. Access the feeling by fantasising about your LO whilst with your SO. Conventionally that would be a betrayal. But we are not conventional