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Pics of LO

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JupiterTaco
Posts: 5666
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Pics of LO

Post by JupiterTaco »

To MrSpock and AMA, you never know what this girl may have experienced with other boys/men. An extreme reaction it may be, but it's possible she was triggered for some reason that actually has nothing to do with MrSpock.

To answer the thread, most of my past LOs have pictures. High school and middle school LO turn up eventually if I'm roaming through former classmates' pages, which I rarely do these days.

I did recently look at fourth and fifth LOs' pictures after years, for perspective (fourth LO's picture is a mugshot). [-x

I still think about how crazy I could've stayed if I'd found that picture sooner.
"You know for a big black guy Cleveland's got a cute little white ass!" Peter, Family Guy
"Um...that wasn't Cleveland," Brian
townshend
Posts: 1151
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:19 am
Gender:
Age: 28
United States of America

Re: Pics of LO

Post by townshend »

I haven’t seen LO face to face since November 2019. I have saved 9 photos of LO over the years. I would periodically delete in the effort to ‘get to that point’ where I didn’t need to look at his picture. Honestly I still do look but it’s occasional and not a compulsion. I don’t delete because I know eventually I will want to just see his face again and I don’t want to have to go through searching his wife or a former coworkers Facebooks to find something and see god only knows what else in the process.

Full disclosure, amongst us limerents..right? Six are from Facebook of the aforementioned. The other three are because about three years ago I finally gave into myself and searched him on one of those findmyyearbook sites since I wanted to confirm my suspicion that he was always handsome (I was right). For a long time, when we still worked together, I felt ashamed anytime I did look at any of the photos but now I don’t really see anything wrong with it in my situation. Searching for the yearbook and saving photos with his wife cropped out - I can accept is weird lmao. (And I didn’t crop her out in a “””I’m cutting her out of the picture””” and replacing her with a picture of me kind of way :)) , simply a I just want to occasionally see his face and that’s it kind of way.) I don’t think it has any effect (for me) on my NC or progress at all. In fact it may help. Seeing the photo and being content with just that rather than constructing an interaction and breaking NC. In fact, I avoided contact with him yesterday and was in great physical pain today so I glanced at a photo and it helped me put mind over matter :-??

I had one other obsession that was significantly worse than my LE, in highschool I was obsessed with the long dead celebrity Dean Martin and after I came to a good enough place of getting out of it I deleted my entire cache of photos. Many many photos that took a lot of time to gather. I mean like sourced from people who knew him and used for blogging etc. So it was the biggest “I’m done” step/decision I made in getting over the obsession. I made that decision at just the right time for it to help me too bc if I’d done it earlier ripping the bandaid may have been what I should’ve done but the sting from that so soon would’ve been like...too much. Knowing when to do it and then doing it - was very freeing. And I haven’t looked back or started over again or anything (it’s been 8-9yrs).
No good has ever come from feeling guilty neither intelligence, policy, nor compassion. The guilty do not pay attention to the object but only to themselves and not even to their own interests, which might make sense, but to their anxieties. -Paul Goodman
AMA210
Posts: 2385
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Pics of LO

Post by AMA210 »

@townshend: "I haven’t seen LO face to face since November 2019. I have saved 9 photos of LO over the years. I would periodically delete in the effort to ‘get to that point’ where I didn’t need to look at his picture. Honestly I still do look but it’s occasional and not a compulsion. I don’t delete because I know eventually I will want to just see his face again and I don’t want to have to go through searching his wife or a former coworkers Facebooks to find something and see god only knows what else in the process."

Yes, can totally relate to this. At one point, deep into limerence, had 20 pics. Deleted most as LE decreased in intensity. In May, FB pics posted on wife's page, a young version of him, 30-ish, and reminded me of Tom Selleck, but surprisingly, think he became "hotter" as he got older. Very strange, as the opposite seems to apply in most cases. My collection has been reduced to two - one with sunglasses and one without. Maybe they are still there because he had such a profound impact in my life. Maybe comparable to that old picture one keeps in their wallet of the dog they had as a kid. It's been good to read that others do this, and not just me. :)
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
HelpNeeded
Posts: 44
Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2021 7:49 am
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: Pics of LO

Post by HelpNeeded »

I look at his facebook photos, of which there are only about 5 visible. It's a weird feeling, like I can't quite look his photos in the eye. Just as in real life! I came away last night thinking he's just way out of my league - married or not. His photos are all selfies and there's no-one else in them, which makes me wonder whether he's lonely - or whether he's just sensible enough not to make photos of his wife and kids available to everyone!
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