Help me plan my withdrawal before i crack

[wipeout]

my LO is my same sex best friend, ive felt like this for 4 years (we've been really close and pretty intense for about 2).
the highs and lows are ruining my life and i really can't cope with it for much longer but i don't know how to get our relationship to a level that i can manage....is that even possible.
i am heaviliy involved in her life...we have shared interests and i help her with her business. Recently i've sensed she is pulling away from me, i fear she is starting to feel a bit claustrohic in our relationship even though she has been incredibly demaining and needy of me and my time until fairly recently. How do i leave this relationship when i don't want to and everything inside of me is urging me to ask her whats wrong for the release i may get. I can't cope with the slightest rejection and the intense jealsousy i feel over any some of her other friendships casuses me physical pain.
How am i going to cover the pain of NC from my family and freinds, they will want to know why we are no longer friends...what do i say to her??? its just to big a problem for me to manage alone.
i spend my days trying to hide my pain from my husband - we are boh working from home. i cry in the shower, when i walk my dog.
Apologies that this is very garbled and poorly written but i can' aricialte my thoughts today.

[Idiotic]

I'm sorry it's hard

When those we love pull away without talking about it

It's the worst
I have an all out approach

I'd rather talk and confront

But it's not for everyone

So think hard about what's the best approach for you

Also
Hang in there

It's hard.
You'll cry a lot

But the pain is meant to be felt

Don't run away from it

Many times fear drives my actions
But once I'm aware of it

It try to face it

It's death

But it's okay, you can handle this small death

[JupiterTaco]

I just wanted to add, you can use chocolate especially dark chocolate to help you with the emotional spirals when you really feel yourself going down, but do try to manage your emotions and/or talk to somebody or let your feelings out somehow.