Trust issues

[Steve_Fox]

Hi.
I've always had major issues trusting people since I was little and it sounds kind of pathetic in my head but I want to get it off my chest anyway.
Basically, my parents have always owned a convenience store and as much as people love to think that that means we're loaded and well off that isn't necessarily the case.
When I was in primary school (elementary school if you're in the US) and I was 7 or 8 I had a pretty upsetting experience with people my age.
At first everything was fine because when I had a birthday party everyone was invited and everyone was happy. As is normal. But we must have been struggling because eventually Mum and Dad said "just invite your close friends from now on". So I did. After that, I never got any invites from anyone else and they stopped speaking to me properly as well. I didn't know how to tell them what was going on. I'm not sure if I even knew at the time.
Honestly, it was the saddest I've ever been. We were friends before, but because of that they didn't even want to know me anymore. People only care about you if they get something in return; that's what I learned.
I have a lot of trouble talking to new people; making friends; making conversations and I only open up when I'm super drunk. In secondary school, I was basically unapproachable except to my own close friends.
I think that's why I became limerent. Sometimes it's on sight, I'll admit, but usually it's when someone is actually kind to me. Or shows that they care. I get way too attached after that and I have to break myself out.
I'm not sure what the point of this post was and I apologise for the massive wall of text but there we go. Opening up.

[Steve_Fox]

I've never told my parents about any of this, by the way. Not much they could do then. Or now. I usually keep it to myself.

[Acrobatica]

This is a good insight Steve.

Trust is difficult. Do you have a friend in your life you can lean on for a favor? Start with small things. Many, but of course not all, people can be trusted.

[PhoenixJB]

My family was always more poor than the other families we were friends or associated with... I know it affected my mother greatly. She was only a teacher's aide at the school and all her friends were actual teachers, making much more money, much nicer homes, etc. I always felt it. I always felt less. I also had issues growing up that set me apart from others and no one really accepted me. I find it difficult to trust people and if someone shows me attention or acts like they like me, I fall so quickly... which explains limerence and my two most recent LO's. I'm trying to find the root issue and make more friends in a healthy way but it's sure not easy. I feel for ya... I hear ya... it's especially difficult during this virus and quarantine, even if I want to make new friends, I'm limited... it's hard. So hard. But. I gotta try, and in the meantime learn how to love and provide friendship to/for myself... I have a new therapist and am really trying to make friends, at least reaching out to more online, and it's helping.. slowly but surely.. that's the real answer, not limerence... good luck to both of us.

[Delila]

I have similar issues with trust and I was also bullied as a child, by outsiders as well as family.
I feel scared to open up to people, I fear they will misjudge me or dislike me and then hurt me, therefore I don't make many close friends which makes me feel lonely in life.
I read somewhere that if you can convert your fear into curiosity you won't be so scared and might be able to trust more. I still haven't learned how to do that but I'm trying. All the best to you.