Getting over Limerence when contact is unavoidable

[Saswo]

Just looking for tips from people that might be in a similar situation to me.
I’ve been heavily limerent on my boss for a long time now & finally decided to do something against it. He’s on holiday so I’m feeling I’m on a good path & have been really good in not thinking about him (too) much etc. I really feel like I’ve got this but am worried it’s all been for nothing when he returns to work and I see him several days a week. I sit opposite his office so it’s very hard to completely avoid contact and he’ll be used to me joking around and coming into his office for chats (due to obvious reasons haha)
Anyone in the same boat and has some sound advice to stick it out ?

[JMS164]

I'm in very nearly the same boat. I wish I could give you help, but I haven't figured it out either. I guess I could stop seeking him out so much myself. I've really tried in the past with some success. A lot of our work is done together and communication is essential, though, so it was really a pain to avoid him.

I've thought a lot recently about taking the leap to quit my job. I feel similarly that I do better when I'm not around him, and I'd probably get over it. My friends and family think I've lost my mind if I bring him up at this point, so I'm definitely desperate to move on.

[Saswo]

Definitely trying to limit contact as we actually don’t need as much contact as I’ve been seeking out but it will also be very obvious. To be honest a part of me wishes of course that the notices that I’m withdrawn but more likely he’ll enjoy the peace and quiet he’ll get

[Saswo]

Oh I’m looking for other jobs but haven’t found anything yet so currently not an option

[WishMagick]

If contact is unavoidable, then you can't get over limerence.

Just ask me. I have been limerent for my next door neighbor since last August. I have reduced contact with him as much as I possibly CAN and in some ways , my limerence is WORSE than when I began this LC with him.

Good thing that my LO and his wife are looking to move. When he's gone, the end of this will finally be in sight!

[ireneadler]

If contact is unavoidable, then you can't get over limerence.

Just ask me. I have been limerent for my next door neighbor since last August. I have reduced contact with him as much as I possibly CAN and in some ways , my limerence is WORSE than when I began this LC with him.

Good thing that my LO and his wife are looking to move. When he's gone, the end of this will finally be in sight!

That’s great news, WM!

Distance has helped me with limerence during the pandemic. LO is warm and flirty in person everyday, he initiates conversation and asks me to lunch. Virtually it is 95% me who has to initiate contact. We have had a few great on-line chats, but they are about a week apart instead of everyday. He used to initiate on-line contact, but that stopped for some reason. Periodic hugging also stopped abruptly one day and he had been the one who mainly had initiated that. Now with offices closing down again in the US, I will not see him at all. I try everyday for NC and it has been over a week. I have found that LC gives too much hope. I do find I am starting to lose interest when he does not initiate anything on his end anymore. That feels nothing like the “great friendship” he said he wanted after I disclosed. I feel like an ass who isn’t getting the hint and keeps chasing him.

[Saswo]

That’s discouraging to hear I may not be able to get over it while still having contact.
Unless I quit my job there’s not much I can do about it unfortunately.

I’m on the right track nontheless although my physical reaction to unexpected seeing my boss as he popped into the office during the holidays showed I still got a wee way to go

[Overthinker]

It's not easy Sasmo, but you can get to a point where it's manageable. I was initiating contact with LO too much in our first week back from lockdown and it reached a point where I had to slow down. Have had very limited contact in the last week and feel much better. There will be an ebb and flow based on the amount of contact but if you expect it and get used to it you can manage it. You can only control what you can control, and that is limiting self-initiated contact and keeping conversations short and professional if LO initiates.

[Saswo]

Aw thanks for the kind words @overthinker!
I can definitely limit contact as it’s almost always me initiating it (unnecessarily though of course). My boss is only 3 days a week in the office, one day of those I might work from home, so really only gonna be “exposed” 2 days. Only need to wire my brain now to not just look forward to those 2 days and spend the rest of the time waiting - doh!