I landed my LO and its been hell

[rayross]

I had an intense crush on a coworker back in 2016 and 2017, this was before I understood it was limerence. She was friendly but not interested, 12 years younger and even though we went out once for dinner she viewed it as 2 "pals" hanging out.

In November 2017 she left the company and I sent her a text a few months later to say Hi, but never heard back. For the next year and a half I thought about her a lot and fantasized about us being together. One day I was on vacation in Mexico and shot her a text and she fired back and kept firing back. She wanted to go to the beach but she lived in the desert and had no car, I told her I would come get her when I came back and take her to the beach for a day.

The big day finally came and our day at the beach turned into 2 days and nights of kissing, sex, cuddling, bonding... Any limerent will understand - this was like winning the lottery. I would pinch myself because I couldn't believe this was happening.

Because she lived so far away I quickly asked her to move in with me, which she did. It was my dream come true. I can't even describe what its like to land an LO when deep down you believe it to be impossible.

It didn't take more than a month before she started to slowly withdraw her affection and attention from me. She became cold, disinterested, and moody all the time. Then she would snap out of it, and become that awesome girl again and fill all of my needs.

I don't have time to get into the nightmare this last 10 months have been, but now I am trying to get her out of my house.

I've come to realize that the hope and uncertainty that drives limerence doesn't necessarily change when you land the LO. It was constant uncertainty, followed by a slight reward of affection.

I don't think I ever want to be with an LO again. The very signals they put out that cause limerence are the things that they will always do. Its bad enough feeling an LO is unattainable but thinking you've "attained" them, then learning that you will never get the security you crave just isn't worth it.

I wish I had kept her as a fantasy, the reality is horrible. FYI I'm still limerent on her, and it kills me to have to end it forever, but she will bleed my soul until I'm dead and I just can't take any more pain.

[Idiotic]

Think that's the key.
Uncertain love, whether you consummate or not is irrelevant. It boils down to this feeling. Of rejection.

[Teana]

I've come to realize that the hope and uncertainty that drives limerence doesn't necessarily change when you land the LO. It was constant uncertainty, followed by a slight reward of affection.

I don't think I ever want to be with an LO again. The very signals they put out that cause limerence are the things that they will always do. Its bad enough feeling an LO is unattainable but thinking you've "attained" them, then learning that you will never get the security you crave just isn't worth it.

I wish I had kept her as a fantasy, the reality is horrible. FYI I'm still limerent on her, and it kills me to have to end it forever, but she will bleed my soul until I'm dead and I just can't take any more pain.

I agree 100% on this. The uncertainity there is always. Even with small hint of pulling away, sometimes even not legitimate "hints".
The uncertainity made never disapears and it is not that pleasurable to have limerent relationship anymore, because uncertainity brings a huge amout of negative emotions. And it is draining staying in uncertain relationship.

[peter.rabbit]

I had an intense crush back in....

The big day finally came and our day at the beach turned into 2 days and nights of kissing, sex, cuddling, bonding... Any limerent will understand - this was like winning the lottery. I would pinch myself because I couldn't believe this was happening.

I wish I had kept her as a fantasy, the reality is horrible. FYI I'm still limerent on her, and it kills me to have to end it forever, but she will bleed my soul until I'm dead and I just can't take any more pain.

Turning my LO into my "future EX wife" caused me this type of pain and horror you've described. Someday you will be beyond all the pain, I am but it did take a considerable bit of time....

[Sara]

Wow i always thought that consumption would be the end of a Limerence!!
So what is then? No contact?
It did work with my first Lo

[L-F]

I tell this story to my husband almost every year. He can leave me for an LO, and he understands why I wish him well. Haha a nightmare alright.

I'm sorry you had to experience it for yourself. Thru my limerence experience my husband has learned it's not all its cracked up to be.

Stories like this are common yet don't take away the pain from you. Again, I'm sorry you went thru this.