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Possible Liberation (But it Hurts)

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Rider23.1

Possible Liberation (But it Hurts)

Post by Rider23.1 »

I previously posted under different threads about my limerence for a female co-worker that started in early 2019. We have been working from home for three months now, at first I thought that this might act as a kind of circuit breaker, that not seeing her for an extended period might help (and that this terrible Covid 19 cloud might contain a silver lining), but that didn't because we have kept communicating online, in most cases initiated by her. She said certain things on occasions that only ignited the flame within me. Ihave seen her face only twice on online team meetings, the last just a few days ago. The thing about online meetings is that you can stare at someone without them knowing: I gawked at her for 20 minutes marvelling at her beauty and felt that I was experiencing a major melt down once the meeting ended. Lo and behold, she messages me 30 minutes later and asks me if "her beauty is still intact". Why would she ask me that if not to get a response where I am exposing my feelings to her? Then yesterday she initiated another chat, one thing lead to another and she is soon telling me about her feelings for another coworker and how she hopes something might happen between them. I felt myself denying what she was saying as the conversation unfolded, 18 months of thinking that maybe she felt something for me and that our various exchanges proved it was quickly evaporating before my very eyes. But now that I now that my illusions have been shattered I believe I can move on from this, that liberation is now or very soon. Nevertheless, it hurts like hell right now. I have even resorted to thinking over the last 24 hours that it is all a ruse on her part to make me jealous and respond, that it is really me that she is after, such is the denial going on in my fucked up limerent mind. I feel upset but have no right to be. I am.married with a beautiful wife, we have a beautiful house that we moved into earlier in the year and both have secure jobs not threatened by the Covid situation. I have so much to be thankful for, in time I will realise the current pain is necessary and that any other path, such as reciprocation would have been much worse.
Cookie
Posts: 1190
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:08 pm
United States of America

Re: Possible Liberation (But it Hurts)

Post by Cookie »

Count your lucky stars you didn't ruin your life for this narcissistic biotch.

Sorry...but she knows exactly what she's doing.

I've been around the block with limerence and narcissism long enough, and this is one of the coldest/cruelest things I've seen an LO do.

I know it hurts right now, Rider, but I promise you it will get better with each day you're away from her.

Stay strong and keep loving your beautiful family.
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Celestialbody
Posts: 180
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 2:41 pm
Australia

Re: Possible Liberation (But it Hurts)

Post by Celestialbody »

Agree 100% with Cookie. She's a complete narc. Count your blessings.
Pandora
Posts: 399
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:29 pm
Canada

Re: Possible Liberation (But it Hurts)

Post by Pandora »

That is a brutal situation, but in a way it's nice that she revealed her true colours in such a flagrant, disrespectful way. You say you're upset but have no right to be, but I think you do. She obviously knew you were attracted to her, and she deliberately set out to cause you pain. While it'll hopefully be for the best in the end, you deserve more dignity than that treatment.

:ymhug: To brighter tomorrows!
I'm not here to be a creep,
I'm just feeling complete.
Take me home.
Idiotic
Posts: 1978
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: Possible Liberation (But it Hurts)

Post by Idiotic »

Wow. Reminds me of someone.
Hurts like hell.
When they keep you for attention, but tell you about other interests.
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn
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