Have anybody dated their LO? How was it, did those intense feelings lasted?

[Teana]

How did the dating felt? Did the limerence faded out in some time? For how long.
And if it ended, why and how the breakup felt? Did you get over limerence after breakup with LO?

[Nensi]

I was limerent for my husband ten years ago.
It lasted for year or so... and started to fade out gradually.

[Pandora]

I've 'dated' a couple of my LOs and the intense feelings did last, however they became very negative. In the work done on limerence, limerence flourishes under 'barriers'. In my first relationship with an LO, the barrier was my own mind. I was convinced I wasn't good enough for him, that he would leave, cheat on me, etc. I was a nutbag. When we broke up, I felt oddly numb, like my entire self had disappeared. This is something I still struggle with to this day.

For another LO, the barrier was that he was a married man and also had strong narcissistic traits. The limerence was kept alive by the barrier that he was married, and the hope (even if I didn't admit it to myself) that he would leave his wife for me. This relationship went on about 3/4 years, and it only really ended when I had reached the end of my rope with him and just stopped contacting him. This one went 'easier' for me, because I had an element of transference to the man who would become my husband. Married dude still emailed me intermittently for 3 years afterwards, and every time I got an email from him it set off feelings of anger and fear - fear that I had made this horrible mistake that I could never be free from.

With another LO, the barrier was that he wasn't interested in a relationship, and once again I hoped that I would be so amazing that he would change his mind. He left the province, and I was depressed for months after, once again feeling like I had lost all sense of self, of my joie de vivre.

So, for me, LOs are a symptom of a continuing internal issue. Breaking up with them didn't help my tendency to become limerent. However, I did get over my individual LOs by falling into limerence with other people.

[miliop]

"fear that I had made this horrible mistake that I could never be free from."


Hi, your testimony speaks to me a lot, thank you.

Can you explain in more details this "fear" of which speak? The fear he never leave you alone? The fear of never being able to forget him?