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Ending my Emotional Affair

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
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Sara
Posts: 303
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:06 pm
Gender:
France

Re: Ending my Emotional Affair

Post by Sara »

So true maddie!!
To be honest I also dont love my LO and see no future with him!
Its just an animal attraction that became obsessive because it has been left unconsumed for too long and we both fueled it!

I can see our actions make us suffer or at least me
Maddie
Posts: 1515
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:09 am
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Ending my Emotional Affair

Post by Maddie »

Sara wrote: Tue Sep 22, 2020 9:57 am animal attraction that became obsessive because it has been left unconsumed for too long and we both fueled it!
I can see our actions make us suffer or at least me
Yes, and yes. it was the 'building up' of the uncertainty and hope, the length of time that this dance went on seemed to make it more potent.
My actions definitely made the situation worse. I've never regretted NOT reaching out to him but generally I regret interactions with him, especially now. tbh, it was sort of fun at times, but it has become very painful. I often felt that he was baiting me or trying to guage "just how much does she want me? is she jealous?" that kind of thing. He and I are both very wounded and now that I've gone as far as I have in limerence, it has been soul crushing, and I did it to myself. but with addictions, it takes what it takes for us to finally wake up and say "NO MORE" . I know anger is not healthy over long term and in high intensity, but anger does initially help us gain the strength to put the boundaries in place (at least for me). one thing this community has helped me do is take ownership of my behavior and learn to take care of myself, ask for what I need in my marriage, and begin to value myself.
I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

F. Scott Fitzgerald
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