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Why do you like your LO?

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Cookie
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Cookie » Thu Aug 22, 2019 5:40 pm

L-F wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:21 am
Y'all forgetting that if you marry your LO, you will, just like any other partner, fall out of love with them. It's that simple.
No doubt.

Because in the realm of narcissism, familiarity breeds contempt. Big time.

So what do I like in my LO, or what DID I like? Not much, now that the fog has cleared and I can see him for what he is. Selfish, narcissistic, awful to the women in his life, lazy, and entitled. Good points? Intelligent and good sense of humor. But my dog has those traits.
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Faye
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Faye » Thu Aug 22, 2019 7:02 pm

Cookie wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 5:40 pm
Good points? Intelligent and good sense of humor. But my dog has those traits.
Roasted. :))

L-F
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by L-F » Fri Aug 23, 2019 7:27 am

Cookie wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 5:40 pm
Because in the realm of narcissism, familiarity breeds contempt. Big time.
And that is why they fall out of love with us too.
If only we'd sit with the void too... then perhaps we won't need to fill it once we get over the fear of its existence. L-F

Bridget
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Bridget » Sat Aug 24, 2019 5:27 am

He was attractive, smart, and quirky. We were too much alike for me to have a crush on him and he gave off real "family man" vibes, so I felt it was safe to become friends.

A year plus later and I'm in full-blown, one-sided limerence with him and desperately trying to figure out what the hell happened.

A year after that, I realize that LO is exactly the man I imagined my father to be when I was 5 and my parents divorced and then both married hellions. In fact, all of my LOs had some resemblance to my fantasy father. That knowledge is a blessing because it has helped me put up strong boundaries between me and any other attractive man who has those traits.

PinballZero

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by PinballZero » Mon Aug 26, 2019 10:54 pm

Solid stuff ITT

BobSmith
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by BobSmith » Tue Aug 27, 2019 3:08 pm

She took the piss out of me.

She had an innate sadness that somehow made me want to look after her.

She was really really really into me, and then suddenly, she wasn't.

mamasita
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by mamasita » Tue Aug 27, 2019 3:53 pm

Lococktail
I love your post. That's pretty much how it happened.

Bridget, yours resonates as well, falling for your fantasy father.

So now I'm thinking about why I like my LO. There is definitely a way that LO relates to my father, but it's the intermittent attention that I got from my father. Insists he loves me but his actions always showed otherwise.

I felt like a burden, and different from everyone else. My father slut shamed me long before I became sexually active based on a shirt I had on.

I like my LO because he is handsome, strong, funny, and he always looks me in my eyes as I talk. Gives a calming and comforting feeling when he is around. He's seen me high and he's seen me low. And he always greets me with a warm hug and a friendly smile. If I made a fool out of myself previously, he never acts put off or embarrassed by me. He asks questions in a crowd directed at me. He tells people that "I have been his friend for years." He makes me feel like I belong. I think on a deeper level, he WOULD give me intermittent attention and be hot/cold IF we were in a real relationship...like my Dad.
But the things about him that make me feel good are the things I wanted from my Dad and couldn't ever quite reach. Just like I can never quite reach the heart of my LO.

limewreck
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by limewreck » Tue Aug 27, 2019 5:18 pm

I don't know whether she's pretty in the classical sense, but when she comes alive she's positively radiant. I've always been able to make her laugh.

We share an emotionally-powerful creative interest, which is how we originally became acquainted. In many other ways, and most of the practical ones, we aren't alike and probably wouldn't make good partners... but there is something under the surface between us that just occasionally clicks and connects, usually over a creative expression or a particular way of thinking about something.

She's talented and thoughtful in ways that I think have gone under-appreciated and poorly-heard by those closest to her. She has stress points and frustrations in her life that my skills and mindset could help with. So yeah, a lot of my LE stems from rescue fantasy... I want to take care of her, make much of her in the way I feel she deserves.

Mezzoone
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Mezzoone » Wed Aug 28, 2019 1:32 am

limewreck wrote:
Tue Aug 27, 2019 5:18 pm
She's talented and thoughtful in ways that I think have gone under-appreciated and poorly-heard by those closest to her. She has stress points and frustrations in her life that my skills and mindset could help with. So yeah, a lot of my LE stems from rescue fantasy... I want to take care of her, make much of her in the way I feel she deserves.
Wow Limewreck. I think I want my LO to rescue me. The way you described what you want to give to your LO, that’s exactly what I’m always seeking from LO. To be seen and appreciated in ways I feel like the world misses. I think my LO is the only one who could really understand or get the depth of things I feel or think. I just thought that was interesting... that we’re both the limerent ones but have exact opposite needs from our LO. *sigh*

Cookie
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Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Cookie » Wed Aug 28, 2019 1:32 am

Lococktail wrote:
Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:21 pm
So while others argue on here that it's fake and not real, I strongly disagree. It IS real. It's one of the most amazing experiences you'll ever have in your life. It feels so great, like cocaine.
I guess it depends on how you define "real" and what you mean by it.

Limerence is real in the physical sense (per the chemical processes you describe), but not in the emotional or true connection sense...which I think is what is often meant by "fake" when its said on this forum: fake feelings, fake love, and so forth.

Really what you're describing here is riding chemical highs. I get that and it is part of my experience too. But I shudder at the thought of equating these as the most amazing experiences in life. At that point, I'm just checking into a hotel room and snorting/shooting/drinking whatever I can get my hands on. All while texting the LO, of course.

:ymcowboy:
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