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Why do you like your LO?

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
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PinballZero

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by PinballZero »

Lococktail wrote:
> I wish I knew. It's like a mystery to me. You can't really explain it. But
> here's the recipe, I think.
>
> I would say first ingredient is there must be attraction from the first
> moment. I could go on and on about my LO's face, his height, the way he
> smells, his teeth (odd, I know), his shoulders, his hair, his body, his
> smile, his laugh, his voice, his hands, his mannerisms, his skin, his
> style......
>
> But while the initial attraction draws you in at first, the second
> ingredient is probably the most important. You like their mind and
> personality. You have experiences in common. Maybe similar traumas or past
> failures? This person understands you and shares a similar sense of humor.
> There is something about him or her that you admire.
>
> Third. What usually seals the deal is that you think they like you too.
> This person seeks you out somehow, or at least seems to enjoy your company.
> Maybe this person takes a personal risk to pursue a relationship with you.
>
> Fourth. You feel like you're walking on air when you're with this person.
> Time condenses. This is nothing more than a chemical reaction designed to
> get two people to mate. Dopamine.
>
> The final ingredient is some kind of barrier that prevents both of you from
> really telling the other one how you really feel. Classic intermittent
> reinforcement ensues. The body is confused by your failure to consummate.
> It pumps out more and more hormones to make you do stupid things. Sometimes
> you fall off the wagon, but then you get back on.
>
> Prevention of consummation creates this infinite loop of the "highs
> and lows" that others here have described. It is a chemical addiction
> to a person, and nobody else on the planet can give that to you - only your
> LO. It's your own LO Cocktail, created in a lab, just for you.
>
> What limerents need to realize is that if there were no barriers, this
> person, your LO, would no longer give you those highs and lows. A lot of
> people say no contact is the way to go, but I think often doing the
> opposite is the best cure. Destroying the fantasy and putting it all out
> there is the best way to destroy this disease, whether it's through
> rejection, consummation, or otherwise. I have yet to hear one story of
> limerents getting together and having limerence for the rest of their
> lives. It just doesn't happen. Limerence is basically stunted NRE. You get
> stuck in hormonal cocktail hell. Your drug is the LO, there is no other
> source.
>
> So while others argue on here that it's fake and not real, I strongly
> disagree. It IS real. It's one of the most amazing experiences you'll ever
> have in your life. It feels so great, like cocaine. Because it's NRE on
> steroids. I wish someone would do a scientific study on hormone levels of
> people with limerence. We already know that NRE induces hormonal shifts
> (higher estrogen in women and testosterone in men). I can only imagine what
> a limerent's hormonal profile would look like. When I was at my worst, men
> were coming on to me in droves.
>
> So the truth is there is probably nothing special about your LO, except
> that they have become special to YOU due to the aforementioned chemical
> processes.
PinballZero

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by PinballZero »

W me there was absolutely no attraction at the outset , so that’s not true
User avatar
WishMagick
Posts: 827
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 8:00 pm
Location: Wonderland
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by WishMagick »

Oh, I agree so much with what Lococktail wrote. Every single word. I really think that's what it is. That's the recipe. Everything fits.
But, one thing kind of doesn't. I don't feel like we "get" each other. My LO confuses me and I think I confuse him as well. But, maybe that is part of the attraction for me (and him too?) is that I can't figure him out, and I really want to. Although I get the feeling that LO doesn't want to figure me out. The uncertainty behind his reasons kills me. Absolutely kills me.
I'm now limerence free! Mindfulness & Traditional spiritualism was my "cure".
"Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness."
Sara2

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Sara2 »

We clicked and we still click , we can discuss for hours hes cute polite well mannered he wants the same things in life
NoDayDreaming

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by NoDayDreaming »

Lococktail wrote: Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:21 pm I wish I knew. It's like a mystery to me. You can't really explain it. But here's the recipe, I think.

I would say first ingredient is there must be attraction from the first moment. I could go on and on about my LO's face, his height, the way he smells, his teeth (odd, I know), his shoulders, his hair, his body, his smile, his laugh, his voice, his hands, his mannerisms, his skin, his style......

But while the initial attraction draws you in at first, the second ingredient is probably the most important. You like their mind and personality. You have experiences in common. Maybe similar traumas or past failures? This person understands you and shares a similar sense of humor. There is something about him or her that you admire.

Third. What usually seals the deal is that you think they like you too. This person seeks you out somehow, or at least seems to enjoy your company. Maybe this person takes a personal risk to pursue a relationship with you.

Fourth. You feel like you're walking on air when you're with this person. Time condenses. This is nothing more than a chemical reaction designed to get two people to mate. Dopamine.

The final ingredient is some kind of barrier that prevents both of you from really telling the other one how you really feel. Classic intermittent reinforcement ensues. The body is confused by your failure to consummate. It pumps out more and more hormones to make you do stupid things. Sometimes you fall off the wagon, but then you get back on.

Prevention of consummation creates this infinite loop of the "highs and lows" that others here have described. It is a chemical addiction to a person, and nobody else on the planet can give that to you - only your LO. It's your own LO Cocktail, created in a lab, just for you.

What limerents need to realize is that if there were no barriers, this person, your LO, would no longer give you those highs and lows. A lot of people say no contact is the way to go, but I think often doing the opposite is the best cure. Destroying the fantasy and putting it all out there is the best way to destroy this disease, whether it's through rejection, consummation, or otherwise. I have yet to hear one story of limerents getting together and having limerence for the rest of their lives. It just doesn't happen. Limerence is basically stunted NRE. You get stuck in hormonal cocktail hell. Your drug is the LO, there is no other source.

So while others argue on here that it's fake and not real, I strongly disagree. It IS real. It's one of the most amazing experiences you'll ever have in your life. It feels so great, like cocaine. Because it's NRE on steroids. I wish someone would do a scientific study on hormone levels of people with limerence. We already know that NRE induces hormonal shifts (higher estrogen in women and testosterone in men). I can only imagine what a limerent's hormonal profile would look like. When I was at my worst, men were coming on to me in droves.

So the truth is there is probably nothing special about your LO, except that they have become special to YOU due to the aforementioned chemical processes.
wow, i just saw it for the first time. and it's a very good description.
now, as to how and why we got attracted to some people and not to other ones, i think it boils down to childhood. we like to see the traits we liked in our parents, but don't want to see anything that we hated in out parents. the partial support for this is here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... ur-parents
http://theconversation.com/why-we-are-s ... ents-54590
Maddie
Posts: 1515
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:09 am
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Maddie »

.
I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

F. Scott Fitzgerald
RiderOfTheStorm

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by RiderOfTheStorm »

I like the way he makes me feel. He makes me feel loved, cared for, like i matter. I love how he loves me :-) Not romantically, but the love a human feels for a human. I like his half crooked smile and how he looks under the moon light. I love how he insists we hold hands. I love his face shape. I love his shouldes and how much he values his family. I dislike the way he laughs but I love it when he does. I love that when I meet him, I feel myself more than ever before. How he never says no to my crazy ideas. I love him for being so caring.
LovesickRandy
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri Feb 07, 2020 12:26 am
Gender:
Age: 61
United States of America

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by LovesickRandy »

She is beautiful, fit, confident, intelligent, fun, and down to earth. She is feminine, but can be one of the guys if that makes any sense. She's funny and her laugh is amazing. She gets right to the point and is a direct, completely competent business woman. She doesn't take shit from anyone and in fact could probably kick most guy's butts.

Unfortunately, she now hates me because of this LE and I've lost the only fun part of my life.
Married - 57 yrs old
LO is single - 37 yrs old - works for me
peter.rabbit
Posts: 450
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by peter.rabbit »

LovesickRandy wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:43 pm She is beautiful, fit, confident, intelligent, fun, and down to earth. She is feminine, but can be one of the guys if that makes any sense. She's funny and her laugh is amazing. She gets right to the point and is a direct, completely competent business woman. She doesn't take shit from anyone and in fact could probably kick most guy's butts.
That sounds alot like my LO.
LovesickRandy wrote: Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:43 pm Unfortunately, she now hates me because of this LE and I've lost the only fun part of my life.


Sorry to hear this, I can't imagine the pain....

I'd love to disclose to her, but I fear the consequences.....
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
LovesickRandy
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri Feb 07, 2020 12:26 am
Gender:
Age: 61
United States of America

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by LovesickRandy »

DON'T DISCLOSE!!!!!! I would MUCH rather have her back faking my emotions and laughing with her rather than knowing she hates me!
Last edited by LovesickRandy on Tue Mar 10, 2020 6:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Married - 57 yrs old
LO is single - 37 yrs old - works for me
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