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Why do you like your LO?

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madobsession

Why do you like your LO?

Post by madobsession » Wed Aug 21, 2019 8:45 pm

Please comment from your personal experience the reason why you are attracted to your LO and not others. What is it your LO gives that you think no one else can give?

peter.rabbit
Posts: 148
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by peter.rabbit » Wed Aug 21, 2019 9:41 pm

madobsession wrote:
Wed Aug 21, 2019 8:45 pm
Please comment from your personal experience the reason why you are attracted to your LO and not others.
Great topic. My LO is not only physically attractive, but she just has a very big warm natural smile. To me, that says a lot about her mental outlook, Positive, kind, she derives her energy from doing work that she believes strongly in.
madobsession wrote:
Wed Aug 21, 2019 8:45 pm
What is it your LO gives that you think no one else can give?
Good question, not sure if there is a "no one else can give" component that I could answer. Someone else 'could' give me what she does, given that conditions were similar. One qualifying condition for someone else would be IF I were Limerent for them. But then, it would just be a different LE, unless the person was her identical twin.
Married.
In LE with married LO :-\
I need to just keep internalizing these thoughts .." she doesn't give a shit about u , these are her normal behaviour and don't think u are any different "

NVTS
Posts: 577
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm
Fiji

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by NVTS » Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:19 pm

This particular LO “checked all the boxes” . Intelligent, ive always liked leople who can engage in a wide range of topics in a meaningful way. Physically attractive, although sha is nearing the 1/2 century mark she takes good care of herself and ive always been attracted to older women.
Warm personality, she has a way of connecting with people which I thought was charming in a genuine way. Wordsmith, she expresses herself so well, a lost art these days. She laughed at my silly jokes and comments.
M-47-married
LO- married 48,work colleagues

Lococktail

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Lococktail » Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:21 pm

I wish I knew. It's like a mystery to me. You can't really explain it. But here's the recipe, I think.

I would say first ingredient is there must be attraction from the first moment. I could go on and on about my LO's face, his height, the way he smells, his teeth (odd, I know), his shoulders, his hair, his body, his smile, his laugh, his voice, his hands, his mannerisms, his skin, his style......

But while the initial attraction draws you in at first, the second ingredient is probably the most important. You like their mind and personality. You have experiences in common. Maybe similar traumas or past failures? This person understands you and shares a similar sense of humor. There is something about him or her that you admire.

Third. What usually seals the deal is that you think they like you too. This person seeks you out somehow, or at least seems to enjoy your company. Maybe this person takes a personal risk to pursue a relationship with you.

Fourth. You feel like you're walking on air when you're with this person. Time condenses. This is nothing more than a chemical reaction designed to get two people to mate. Dopamine.

The final ingredient is some kind of barrier that prevents both of you from really telling the other one how you really feel. Classic intermittent reinforcement ensues. The body is confused by your failure to consummate. It pumps out more and more hormones to make you do stupid things. Sometimes you fall off the wagon, but then you get back on.

Prevention of consummation creates this infinite loop of the "highs and lows" that others here have described. It is a chemical addiction to a person, and nobody else on the planet can give that to you - only your LO. It's your own LO Cocktail, created in a lab, just for you.

What limerents need to realize is that if there were no barriers, this person, your LO, would no longer give you those highs and lows. A lot of people say no contact is the way to go, but I think often doing the opposite is the best cure. Destroying the fantasy and putting it all out there is the best way to destroy this disease, whether it's through rejection, consummation, or otherwise. I have yet to hear one story of limerents getting together and having limerence for the rest of their lives. It just doesn't happen. Limerence is basically stunted NRE. You get stuck in hormonal cocktail hell. Your drug is the LO, there is no other source.

So while others argue on here that it's fake and not real, I strongly disagree. It IS real. It's one of the most amazing experiences you'll ever have in your life. It feels so great, like cocaine. Because it's NRE on steroids. I wish someone would do a scientific study on hormone levels of people with limerence. We already know that NRE induces hormonal shifts (higher estrogen in women and testosterone in men). I can only imagine what a limerent's hormonal profile would look like. When I was at my worst, men were coming on to me in droves.

So the truth is there is probably nothing special about your LO, except that they have become special to YOU due to the aforementioned chemical processes.

peter.rabbit
Posts: 148
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by peter.rabbit » Thu Aug 22, 2019 12:03 am

Lococktail wrote:
Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:21 pm

So the truth is there is probably nothing special about your LO, except that they have become special to YOU due to the aforementioned chemical processes.
Your whole post was spot-on, but the last statement really sums it up well.

While some people have a depth of involvement with their LO that makes my LE pale by comparison, I wouldn't trade her for any other.

Someone here told me not too long ago that "she doesn't give a shit about you"...that is not entirely true, but it does keep us from wrecking our lives.
Married.
In LE with married LO :-\
I need to just keep internalizing these thoughts .." she doesn't give a shit about u , these are her normal behaviour and don't think u are any different "

L-F
Posts: 2574
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by L-F » Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:21 am

Y'all forgetting that if you marry your LO, you will, just like any other partner, fall out of love with them. It's that simple.
If only we'd sit with the void too... then perhaps we won't need to fill it once we get over the fear of its existence. L-F

peter.rabbit
Posts: 148
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by peter.rabbit » Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:59 am

Edited by peter.rabbit
Last edited by peter.rabbit on Thu Aug 22, 2019 3:23 am, edited 2 times in total.
Married.
In LE with married LO :-\
I need to just keep internalizing these thoughts .." she doesn't give a shit about u , these are her normal behaviour and don't think u are any different "

Fool

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Fool » Thu Aug 22, 2019 3:08 am

His height and his voice are attractive. He’s confident but not egotistical. He teases people in a playful way and can be relentless at times. He reminds me of my father in that regard. He can act like a big dork and there’s something charming about it.

Angel
Posts: 181
Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2019 12:52 pm
United States of America

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Angel » Thu Aug 22, 2019 3:28 am

Lococktail wrote:
Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:21 pm
The final ingredient is some kind of barrier that prevents both of you from really telling the other one how you really feel. Classic intermittent reinforcement ensues. The body is confused by your failure to consummate. It pumps out more and more hormones to make you do stupid things. Sometimes you fall off the wagon, but then you get back on.

Prevention of consummation creates this infinite loop of the "highs and lows" that others here have described. It is a chemical addiction to a person, and nobody else on the planet can give that to you - only your LO. It's your own LO Cocktail, created in a lab, just for you.

What limerents need to realize is that if there were no barriers, this person, your LO, would no longer give you those highs and lows. A lot of people say no contact is the way to go, but I think often doing the opposite is the best cure. Destroying the fantasy and putting it all out there is the best way to destroy this disease, whether it's through rejection, consummation, or otherwise. I have yet to hear one story of limerents getting together and having limerence for the rest of their lives. It just doesn't happen. Limerence is basically stunted NRE. You get stuck in hormonal cocktail hell. Your drug is the LO, there is no other source.

So while others argue on here that it's fake and not real, I strongly disagree. It IS real. It's one of the most amazing experiences you'll ever have in your life. It feels so great, like cocaine. Because it's NRE on steroids. I wish someone would do a scientific study on hormone levels of people with limerence. We already know that NRE induces hormonal shifts (higher estrogen in women and testosterone in men). I can only imagine what a limerent's hormonal profile would look like. When I was at my worst, men were coming on to me in droves.

So the truth is there is probably nothing special about your LO, except that they have become special to YOU due to the aforementioned chemical processes.
What a great post! Check on all 4 ingredients for me, and especially on that last one. Both LO and I are married, and we live in distant states - two major barriers preventing that consummation. I know my hormone levels must have been through the roof, and I’m still trying to get over my LE.

My LO was also a close friend, and he disclosed one night, while he was drunk, that he had deeper feelings for me for years, and I realized I did too, and had even called him my soul-mate when I saw him in 2017 (but I hadn’t intended it in the romantic sense, at least I didn’t think it that way!). We had such an close connection as friends for years, so that potential for deeper emotional connection was very much there.

I agree the feelings are very real, just like an addiction to cocaine or opioids are very real. I’ve never done drugs, or been addicted to any substances, so I have nothing to compare this to. Those feelings are real, but are not real love. It’s based on our idealizations and fabrications in our doped up minds that are all projected on our LO.

Guest

Re: Why do you like your LO?

Post by Guest » Thu Aug 22, 2019 5:00 pm

She's pretty.. she's straight forward .. she's crude in a cute way, she gives me alot of attention, provides a very good listening ear and gives me good advice, she seems to be dependent on me for attention but in a much lesser way than I am for her.

We are in the same stage of life and we share more similarities than I can imagine..

She is different from SO and maybe that plays a part in attraction & novelty.

But if there is 1 fricking thing that got me into this... it has to be the fact that I receive alot of attention from her in the beginning which caused me to be hooked unconsciously ... and from then it's the constant "she loves me, she loves me not" plot that fuels this LE ..

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