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Misogyny

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David
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Re: Misogyny

Post by David » Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:15 am

Damn HBO has blocked your link Mr Spock in my country. Can you beam me up to S America so i can watch it?
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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ReeledIn
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Re: Misogyny

Post by ReeledIn » Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:29 am

@Lostagain and @David...

On the topic of having children vs. Not and good parenting vs not...

In another life of mine (in my 30s) I was a fulltime stepmom to my SO's child (he is now 25). Back then I was on a support forum for childless (aka child FREE) stepmoms. What's funny is that almost every woman on that forum would inevitability say something like, "Being a stepmom is the best birth control ever!!" We all pretty much despised this role.

I always say that if kids came out of the womb as teenagers, the birth rate would be cut by 90% and the remaining 10% would be "errors of judgment."

Babies are cute for a reason and yes, Lost, many MANY women have kids because they just want some company. Many also have kids to trap a man. I am sure all wormen on this forum are excluded. :) My SO's "baby mama" (whom he never married) did exactly that. Got pregnant by some random guy after getting drunk in the bar (SO) and without ANY resources, decided to have the kid. (SO had no resources either.) And VOILA...2.people who were not ready to be parents...who didn't even like each other....were now living together without a penny to their names...trying to raise a kid. Let me tell you that did NOT go well for any of them in the long run..other than my SO has a kid he does love, but who has a lot of psychological issues due to his upbringing.

SO never wanted more children because his one son was almosy too much to handle. (I was there. I know.)

Anyway....this is why I am all for classes, training,.licensing. .WHATEVER it takes to get people to think before having kids...and yes it could potentially mean less misogyny, however most of these misogynists in the news come from well-off families who would have probably passed every test you threw at them. I believe coddling has a lot to do with it (which is also bad parenting.)
47yo female, LO/ex PA partner is 54, single dad & coworker
LE started June 2016, PA started Dec 2016
LC began June 2017
Now reconciled with wonderful SO


For my story if interested:
http://limerence.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3738

LostAgain
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Re: Misogyny

Post by LostAgain » Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 am

I am all for classes as well.
I think they could be built in to lessons about good citizenship and sex education (#metoo)
I fear that it will not make any difference to the shag 'em and leave 'em brigade or to the women who want pets.

I agree that teenagers can be a nightmare but my two were also great fun as well as challenging.

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David
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Re: Misogyny

Post by David » Tue Oct 09, 2018 7:30 pm

ReeledIn wrote:
Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:29 am
, however most of these misogynists in the news come from well-off families who would have probably passed every test you threw at them.
Mackler suggests the following to get a license, the rich will fail as often as the poor under his regime =)) =)) =)) .In Fact I dont think anyone would pass. And some of his measures are difficult if not impossible to measure. Still food for thought as to what it takes to be a really good parent.

1) Applicants must demonstrate involvement in a committed, stable, two-parent relationship.

Be married for a minimum of three years.
Engage in successful weekly couple’s therapy for a minimum of two years, in which they demonstrate love and support for each other.
Demonstrate understanding and respect for each other’s differences and patterns.
Demonstrate effective problem-solving skills.
Demonstrate no domestic violence.
For at least one year before marriage live together harmoniously in a community where their relationship can be observed by more mature others.
Practice extended periods of celibacy to strengthen their non-sexual relationship.
Have no extramarital affairs.

2) Applicants must demonstrate emotional health. No child deserves to be raised by a dysfunctional, troubled, or disturbed parent. To prove their readiness for licensure, applicants must:

Have, as adults, been in twice-weekly individual psychotherapy for a minimum of three years. [This assumes the therapy is excellent, which, of course, is contrary to the facts of reality!]
Be able to function successfully without taking any psychotropic medications.
Be able to sleep successfully without taking any sleeping medications.
Demonstrate complete abstinence from drugs and alcohol for three years prior to licensure. My slogan here: “No parenting under the influence.”
Demonstrate an ability to maintain stable and mature relationships with friends.
Demonstrate a lack of severe emotional pathology.
Demonstrate an ability to successfully parent oneself – that is, to engage in healthy self-care.
Demonstrate a healthy understanding of and respect for one’s own and others’ boundaries.
Demonstrate an ability to work through one’s personal problems in a productive and growth-oriented way.
Write an emotional autobiography of one’s own childhood and family history.
Show a joy for living.


3) Applicants must demonstrate good physical health. People in good health are far more ready to make the long-term commitment to being there for their child. Sick, dying, or dead parents do the opposite, setting in the child’s psyche an early and powerful template for abandonment. To prove their readiness for licensure, applicants must:

Show a clean bill of health from a medical doctor.
Demonstrate a lack of obesity.
Demonstrate a lack of genetic diseases that could be passed on to offspring.
Not smoke cigarettes.
Practice good dental health and hygiene.
Demonstrate healthy eating patterns and nutritional awareness.
Pass a test demonstrating sufficient understanding of health, medicine, and disease prevention.
4) Applicants must be over the age of twenty-five and under the age of forty. It is highly unlikely that anyone under twenty-five, even in the best of circumstances, has sufficient maturity and life experience to be a good parent. After all, many car rental companies won’t even rent to someone under twenty-five. I chose an upper age of forty because of the increased likelihood of genetic disorders (both from mothers because of their older eggs and father because of mutated sperm) and because of the decreased ability of older parents to be actively involved in children’s lives.

5) Applicants must successfully complete a two-year, ninety-hour-a-week child-rearing internship with others’ children. This simulation of parenthood may be the most important category of all. I am shocked by the number of people who had little or no interest in children – much less ability to relate to them – before becoming parents themselves. Such people have no right to take on the sacred role of parenting, and part of the purpose of this internship is to either bring them quickly up to speed or weed them out. To prove their readiness for licensure, applicants must:

Demonstrate passion, joy, and competence working with and relating to others’ babies, toddlers, pre-school age children, elementary school-age children, and teenagers.
Live in the home of various families with children and demonstrate proficiency and leadership in all aspects of child-rearing.
Be able to change diapers, put children to bed, feed babies and youngsters, help in problem-solving, assist in homework, assuage emotional pain, dry tears, engage in games, and play make-believe.
Demonstrate flexibility, stability, and creativity in their work and play with children.
Receive and grow from the feedback they receive from the children for whom they work.
Receive excellent ratings from the children, parents, and external observers.
Cry when the internship is over because they loved it so much!
6) Applicants must demonstrate an ability to earn a living. Adults know how to hold down a job, and children need to be raised by adults. People who live off the system or off their spouses or off their own parents show that they have not yet learned how to parent themselves effectively. Although it is wonderful if parents with young children do not work, and get to spend optimal amounts of time with their offspring, people who want to raise children need prior experience participating in society. To prove their readiness for licensure, applicants must:
Show they have worked a full-time job for at least two years.
Show an ability to interact successfully with authority figures and coworkers.

7) Applicants must demonstrate financial stability. Birds pick partners who preen themselves well, collect food successfully, can defend a territory, and can build a nice nest that won’t fall apart in the first windstorm. Why not the same for members of our species, who have brains on the order of a thousand times bigger? To prove their readiness for licensure, applicants must:

Show a lack of debting for five years straight.
Pay their bills on time.
Show a successful maintenance of a well-managed bank account.
Show an ability to manage a budget appropriately.
Demonstrate an ability to live below one’s means.
8) Applicants must complete a college degree. Educated parents open the doors of opportunity for their children. No one wants an uneducated therapist tinkering with his mind, an uneducated doctor probing around his body, an uneducated architect building his home, or an uneducated teacher guiding his learning, so if all other things were equal, what child in his right mind would choose an uneducated parent? To level the playing field, however, I propose diverting each country’s military budget into free, top-notch education for all, pre-school through graduate school.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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ReeledIn
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Re: Misogyny

Post by ReeledIn » Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:14 am

Oh, David, if only.

My own parents would have failed this.

Oh wait. That's kind of the point. :D
47yo female, LO/ex PA partner is 54, single dad & coworker
LE started June 2016, PA started Dec 2016
LC began June 2017
Now reconciled with wonderful SO


For my story if interested:
http://limerence.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3738

LostAgain
Posts: 346
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Great Britain

Re: Misogyny

Post by LostAgain » Wed Oct 10, 2018 6:06 pm

Oh dearie dearie me,David.
I am going to end up blowing my 'liberal' cover here.
In my job as a crim/mental health lawyer I am now dealing with the third generation of criminal offspring.
We are all capable of crime but the majority of my clients have always been the offspring of wife beaters,alcoholics,drug users and dealers,pimps,men and women who never have had and never will have a job.
The one thing they seem to excel at is producing shit loads of children who may or may not end up in the care system.
I would be all for limiting rights to breed but we all know where that leads to.

LostAgain
Posts: 346
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:17 am
Great Britain

Re: Misogyny

Post by LostAgain » Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:02 pm

I thought about removing my last post but I despair at the way society is at the moment especially in Brexit UK and the UnUSA under the orange one with his woman hating entourage and ability to appoint certain unsavoury (rapist?) individuals to high office.
I want to fucking scream and scream and throw my toys out of the pram.
And then I read Spin's positive take on the moral undercurrent which is gaining strength and I think maybe it will be ok.
All the same I can't help feeling frightened by the surge of chauvinism of all kinds and in so many places and their power grab.
I wish the orange one's parents had decided against parenthood.
Last edited by LostAgain on Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LostAgain
Posts: 346
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Re: Misogyny

Post by LostAgain » Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:03 pm

I thought about removing my last post but I despair at the way society is at the moment especially in Brexit UK and the UnUSA under the orange one with his woman hating entourage and ability to appoint certain unsavoury individuals to high office.
I want to fucking scream and scream and throw my toys out of the pram.
And then I read Spin's positive take on the moral undercurrent which is gaining strength and I think maybe it will be ok.
All the same I can't help feeling frightened by the surge of chauvinism of all kinds and in so many places and their power grab.
I wish the orange one's parents had decided against parenthood.

ReeledIn
Posts: 559
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Re: Misogyny

Post by ReeledIn » Thu Oct 11, 2018 5:16 am

LostAgain wrote:
Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:03 pm
I wish the orange one's parents had decided against parenthood.
:))
47yo female, LO/ex PA partner is 54, single dad & coworker
LE started June 2016, PA started Dec 2016
LC began June 2017
Now reconciled with wonderful SO


For my story if interested:
http://limerence.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3738

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