The List

For those that want to lust, lament, rant or anything else that is specifically related to their LO.
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girlattherockshhow
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri May 19, 2017 3:01 pm

The List

Post by girlattherockshhow » Fri May 19, 2017 8:05 pm

Hi guys. This is a list of my LO's. Their names are all abbreviated.

1. "K". My first crush ever. I was in second grade. I consider him an LO because it was very intense. I would break into a sweat whenever he was near me. I couldn't talk around him. I still remember until this day how he made me feel. And how it felt when I saw him with his second grade crush. It was the girl I disliked most in the class.

2. "U". I met him at an ice cream truck in my neighbourhood. It was summer time. I was going into the 6th grade. We would hang out all the time. He always had a girl he was crushing on. He was 2-3 years older than me. I would ride my bike past his house almost every day to see if he was home so we would "accidently" run into eachother. I would always look around to see if his face was somehow in any place I was in. We ended up dating. He was the first person I've ever "made out" with. I was so in love with him. So into him. One day he just stopped talking to me. I found out he sent me a a breakup text message and I never got it. We've had a fee encounters since then. My feelings started back up again around two years ago. He came to a bonfire I was at through mutual friends. We couldn't stop looking/talking to eachother. I was in a relationship with someone else. But i still got his number. We secretly met up at his truck outside my house late at night to talk. Eventually I realised all he wanted to do is sleep with me. It was sexual to him and nothing else. We ended on bad terms. Haven't spoken since.

3. "KV". He was my first coworker LO. Almost a year and a half ago. It was short lived, because when he found out I had a boyfriend he backed off. But before that , we would innocently flirt. I just loved how tall he was. It definitely hurt when he stopped talking to me.

4. "KY". My most intense LO. Also a coworker. It almost ended my relationship. I remember the first time I met him. He was just hired, he saw me. And told me he loved my smile and shook my hand. Ever since then I couldn't stop obsessing. I would try different ways to accidently walk pass him at work. We would get in trouble for always talking to eachother. I think I was also his LO. He didn't care I was in a relationship. I would give him rides home from work because he didn't have a car. We hung out twice. The last time we hung out we drank beer on his porch and I got tipsy. He began to give me a back rub but I stopped him because I almost lost myself. Whenever he said bye to me he kissed me on the cheek and I hated it. But i couldn't tell him not to because I was afraid he wouldn't talk to me anymore. We had so many inside jokes together. He gave me a book to read but I haven't read it yet. I want to give him his book back but I feel like it's the only thing that's keeping him in my life still. He works somewhere else now and so do I. Ever since I told my boyfriend about him we haven't spoken much. I used to dream about him constantly. This LO has just fizzled about 4 weeks ago. It lasted a year. I had to pull myself away because I knew things with him would of gone too far and I would ruin my current relationship . I still think about him and I sometimes wish I could text him. But i lost his number...

5. "M". Very very recent LO. It just started getting intense. After KY ended , M came in full swing. He's my current one. He works at a coffee shop, he has beautiful eyes. I always go out of my way to see him now. I can't have another KY situation happen again. It's why I'm searching for a good therapist to help me. I feel like I have no self control when it comes to these kinds of feelings.

Anyways, I would love to know other people's experiences. Past LO's.. etc. Im also open to any feedback. Thanks for reading.

marko
Posts: 712
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:20 pm

Re: The List

Post by marko » Sat May 20, 2017 12:52 am

I've had pile. One in particulare from 1983, we would kiss for 4 hours at a time, my brain just intoxicated. Still think of her, but no longer sad. The latest flirted and I was vacuumed in. I see her at work all the time, we laugh and have a good time. My impending NC is hefty and I wonder how it will all end. With no good way to go I've never felt this good or bad before--it was a perfect storm. I'll carry this to my grave and only you here will know--wow.

elizabeth3
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 3:09 am

Re: The List

Post by elizabeth3 » Wed May 24, 2017 1:45 am

I share similar experience of many LO's over the past. the ones from when I was youngest stick out the most. that embarrassing but amazing butterfly feeling when you do "run" into them, sit next to each other in the cafeteria, or finally profess feelings for each other. Those are formative years of growing up so I can see why these memories would be so vivid, and the feelings come and go even into adulthood.

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