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What Is Your "Crazy"?

Want get to know each other outside of limerence? Here is an area for jokes, general chat, reflections in general or whatever else floats your boat.
JupiterTaco
Posts: 3817
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

What Is Your "Crazy"?

Post by JupiterTaco » Mon Jan 28, 2019 8:20 am

Anna's video decided to make me post this. Actually that one post about true dating adds probably was the same subject but since IDK where that is, I thought I'd start a new one for all the newcomers and such especially after watching that video.

I had Daddy (and Mommy) issues for years. Even though I swear on my life that I've gotten to the point where I just don't have any use for relationships anymore and that jealousy is a social construct and unhealthy side affect for people who haven't done their own inner work, I haven't put it to the test yet to see if I'm jealousy and parent-issue free in a relationship.

I think monogamy is a sham and most people just can't do it and I don't get why people are still being told to do it. I'd be crazy to expect someone I met off the street (or on a bus) to do it. Nevertheless for years I did because everybody else did too!

The human body disgusts me inside. I don't really say it, and hope it doesn't show on my face when something grosses me out, but it's there. Sure, the body is amazing and its capacity to continue making us survive is pretty cool. But just overall the way the human body is designed (and primates for that matter) is just weird-looking when I think about it. Hands and feet for example, are amazing and can do amazing things, but they just look weird to me. I hate my nails, I wish they'd stop growing because I hate cutting them off. Animal feet are just so much more pleasant to look at if they're side-by-side.

My mind runs 1,000 miles a minute. I can be on one tangent, even obsessively, and twelve hours later be on something totally different. My mood can take drastic swings just based on that!

Most people get on my nerves. Even though I've finally learned to stop putting so much blame on others for my problems (even if they mostly are), I am now left with the realization that I have to live in a society full of people I don't have any use for or any reason to want to be around, and the fact that because I live in a society I just have to deal with the fact that they can continue to screw up my life without bringing as many (or any) positives to it.

I have so many issues around sex that I just don't think at this point that I will ever be comfortable enough to do it. I don't want any more people who claim they can deal with it, and then underhandedly try to manipulate me into it and think that it's okay and that's what I really wanted. Which brings me to my next point. If someone can't be honest and real with me, I don't want them in my life. Period. I don't want people who play two sides, try to get the bigger-better-deal from everyone they know (though I can understand someone being that way, I just don't want to deal with it) and turn around and smile to my face and act like they've got my best interests at heart.

Yes, I expect loyalty. It doesn't mean not sleeping with someone else. It means communicating in any way with someone who clearly wants to ruin me or my life (or even yours) in any way. If someone can't deal with that, there's the door. It is not going to mean a thing if you sit and say that my expectations are too high, that I'm too "needy" (seriously???) or whatever to make me look like the problem instead of their own blatant dishonesty and disrespect. I'm officially too old for projection, gaslighting, and manipulation.

Gawd I need to find that post about dating ads. =))
F.E.A.R-Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise

mamasita
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Re: What Is Your "Crazy"?

Post by mamasita » Mon Jan 28, 2019 3:24 pm

JT I can soooo relate to ALL this!
Its amazing to me how clearly I can SEE gas-lighting and manipulation now that I've been doing some self work. Literally everyone wants to manipulate me in some way or another. Incuding people I love and who love me back. I can have relationships with these people, but I do have to check them here and there. My boundaries have gotten better and better.
My mind can also bounce from one thing to another, from motivated to procrastinating, from obsessive to dismissive. I am learning to accept it all. It's good. You and I are NOT needy and our expectations are NOT too high!!

And...and....even if they WERE, I'm NOT going back to who I used to be. :ymdevil:

mamasita
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Re: What Is Your "Crazy"?

Post by mamasita » Mon Jan 28, 2019 3:26 pm

Oops, to answer the question of the post itself: I was imitating what it feels like to make everyone happy all the time. I was upset. While explaining how it feels to be a people pleaser, I was punching myself in the head. I did it like three times to make my point. Now THAT is crazy. The side of my head hurts. #-o I made my point...but uhhhh...a little crazy indeed. x_x

Pandora
Posts: 303
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:29 pm
Canada

Re: What Is Your "Crazy"?

Post by Pandora » Mon Jan 28, 2019 4:07 pm

I was thinking about this question after watching the video! I don't have a full answer, but what I was reflecting on:

I tend to take everything personally. For instance, I was texting a friend the other day, and asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime. She didn't respond, and immediately my thoughts were 'She doesn't like me, I've pissed her off, well fuck her anyway' yada yada. Then a week later she finally says 'Oh, I thought I had responded to that message! I'm sorry! I'd love to hang out, I miss you!'

When something bad happens to me and I reach out for support, I get very angry if I don't get the exact words or exact amount of comfort I need for someone. Because apparently, they are supposed to read my mind and know the magic right words to say.

Both of those stem from my fear of rejection, self-esteem issues, etc.

Another crazy thing I have is that when I perceive someone as being 'weaker' than I am, I can be very controlling. I remember I got annoyed at one friend because she'd send me 5 or 6 messages in a row and I was irritated at my phone constantly going off, so I told her to organize her thoughts better and put it in fewer texts. Really, who gets that upset over text messages and berates someone for that?

I've come a long way on those fronts, but they're still there.
Desire is a state,
a state of ill repair.
It's ill prepared to cope,
it's ill prepared to care.

daydreamer
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Re: What Is Your "Crazy"?

Post by daydreamer » Tue Jan 29, 2019 7:00 pm

JupiterTaco wrote:
Mon Jan 28, 2019 8:20 am
The human body disgusts me inside.
in my case inside and out, and badly, but only the same sex. the opposite sex is not too bad, but still the whole sex thing was very disturbing to me when I learned about it.
later turned out that while loving someone deeply, the sex act was something almost sacred, but mostly the giving part, not so much the taking part, that is pleasant alright, but not that special.

there are other mildly crazy things, mostly moodiness. being perfectionist i hated some things about myself and lived in a denial. as soon as saw those shadow things in others, it made it me upset about myself and others. made the relationships rocky while transitioning from attraction to attachment phases of love.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, the LE was about the best thing that happened in my life.

NVTS
Posts: 521
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm
Fiji

Re: What Is Your "Crazy"?

Post by NVTS » Wed Jan 30, 2019 1:59 pm

I had Daddy (and Mommy) issues for years. Even though I swear on my life that I've gotten to the point where I just don't have any use for relationships anymore and that jealousy is a social construct and unhealthy side affect for people who haven't done their own inner work, I haven't put it to the test yet to see if I'm jealousy and parent-issue free in a relationship.

I realize that my parents were woefully unprepared to be married and much less to be parents. I strive to be better because of this.


I think monogamy is a sham and most people just can't do it and I don't get why people are still being told to do it. I'd be crazy to expect someone I met off the street (or on a bus) to do it. Nevertheless for years I did because everybody else did too!

I think healthy monogamy is possible, but the ability to be honest about open relationships is also important.

The human body disgusts me inside. I don't really say it, and hope it doesn't show on my face when something grosses me out, but it's there. Sure, the body is amazing and its capacity to continue making us survive is pretty cool. But just overall the way the human body is designed (and primates for that matter) is just weird-looking when I think about it. Hands and feet for example, are amazing and can do amazing things, but they just look weird to me. I hate my nails, I wish they'd stop growing because I hate cutting them off. Animal feet are just so much more pleasant to look at if they're side-by-side.

I couldn't be in the health profession if I found the human body disgusting. I think that it is beautiful. I was convinced from a young age that MY particular body was disgusting to others, so I have taken steps over the years to look my best.At the risk of sounding conceited, I can say that it has paid off. I am in a field where I am surrounded by women(nurses,etc.) who I have learned are very chatty amongst themselves and every so often their opinions get out in the open.WHEW!! I don't plan on taking advantage of it however.

My mind runs 1,000 miles a minute. I can be on one tangent, even obsessively, and twelve hours later be on something totally different. My mood can take drastic swings just based on that!

Yes, totally!!

My biggest crazy at this point is that I feel that I am more enlightened than everyone else. When I am talking to others I tend to wax philosophically and try to inject some humor into everything. Maybe my defense mechanism for feeling like such an outcast and sad for most of my life.

Thank You JT for starting the thread, I still haven't figured out how to frame the quotes the way others do, obviously.
M-47-married
LO- married 48,work colleagues

Anna
Posts: 375
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:15 pm
Canada

Re: What Is Your "Crazy"?

Post by Anna » Wed Jan 30, 2019 10:55 pm

Pandora wrote:
Mon Jan 28, 2019 4:07 pm
I was thinking about this question after watching the video! I don't have a full answer, but what I was reflecting on:

I tend to take everything personally. For instance, I was texting a friend the other day, and asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime. She didn't respond, and immediately my thoughts were 'She doesn't like me, I've pissed her off, well fuck her anyway' yada yada. Then a week later she finally says 'Oh, I thought I had responded to that message! I'm sorry! I'd love to hang out, I miss you!'

When something bad happens to me and I reach out for support, I get very angry if I don't get the exact words or exact amount of comfort I need for someone. Because apparently, they are supposed to read my mind and know the magic right words to say.

Both of those stem from my fear of rejection, self-esteem issues, etc.

Another crazy thing I have is that when I perceive someone as being 'weaker' than I am, I can be very controlling. I remember I got annoyed at one friend because she'd send me 5 or 6 messages in a row and I was irritated at my phone constantly going off, so I told her to organize her thoughts better and put it in fewer texts. Really, who gets that upset over text messages and berates someone for that?

I've come a long way on those fronts, but they're still there.
wow, I can fully suscribe to most of these points, especially the last one... people who are too respectful of me or with too little confidence make me mad or downright aggressive ...

daydreamer
Posts: 897
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
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United States of America

Re: What Is Your "Crazy"?

Post by daydreamer » Wed Jan 30, 2019 11:19 pm

+1
last night i watched a video on narcissistic traits and I saw a little myself in relationship to some people (like SO) but not others (like LO). i'm thinking, maybe narcissistic traits are common in limerants? BTW, my LO is a bit narcissistic (I think), so was my mother. i'll stop here...
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, the LE was about the best thing that happened in my life.

Idiotic
Posts: 1737
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: What Is Your "Crazy"?

Post by Idiotic » Fri Feb 01, 2019 6:15 pm

NVTS wrote:
Wed Jan 30, 2019 1:59 pm


Thank You JT for starting the thread, I still haven't figured out how to frame the quotes the way others do, obviously.
Ha ha Dude you had me so confused for a second there when I was reading your post!
Last edited by Idiotic on Fri Feb 01, 2019 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn

Idiotic
Posts: 1737
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: What Is Your "Crazy"?

Post by Idiotic » Fri Feb 01, 2019 6:20 pm

JupiterTaco wrote:
Mon Jan 28, 2019 8:20 am

Most people get on my nerves. Even though I've finally learned to stop putting so much blame on others for my problems (even if they mostly are), I am now left with the realization that I have to live in a society full of people I don't have any use for or any reason to want to be around, and the fact that because I live in a society I just have to deal with the fact that they can continue to screw up my life without bringing as many (or any) positives to it.

Gawd I need to find that post about dating ads. =))
Totally JT word for word.
Also, yeah I was reminded of that dating ad thread. You were voted the best ad apparently :))
Like 'figure it out when I want to be with you , and when I don't'. lol =))
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn

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