The First of Many

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Spinnaker
Posts: 437
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:25 am
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Re: The First of Many

Post by Spinnaker » Sat Mar 11, 2017 6:41 pm

Aquamarine

Have you felt the emptiness before? If so, have you gone to the school feeling empty, been near him with that empty feeling, and then after seeing him, felt the emptiness disappear and assume he filled it?

Or, is this empty feeling you had after the dream, a physical emptiness in your chest-- Something new ?

Either way, only you can fill the emptiness. He is not the answer to your healing and you've made him out to be much more than who he is, in reality. The sooner we accept that LO is who we made them to be in order to fit our dreams of the perfect man or woman, the sooner we can move on.

In truth, he's a drug and it felt/feels so good to be in his presence and fill our bodies and mind with a rush which only he can give you, to the level which an LO makes us feel. That's not him, it's the drug running through your blood. Dopamine.

Heck, I miss the high of limerence too. BUT it was destroying me from the inside out. I wanted out.
If you want out, then accept it is not LO who can fill the void. The void is deeper and something only you can reach.

Hope this helps. That's my only intent-- to help. So please know, I'm sorry you are suffering and I hope you find peace soon.

Spinnaker :ymhug:
"Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement".

Fred Brooks

JohnDeux
Posts: 1291
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:42 pm

Re: The First of Many

Post by JohnDeux » Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:13 pm

Aquamarine21 wrote:
Sat Mar 11, 2017 3:50 pm

Him: ...... We don't need to talk. Both of us know the other one is around. It is enough for now. It's good to step back from all of it.
Me: I know that is true. The connection didn't break after 3 months. I need you to not leave.
Him: ok.
Dovetailing a bit on what Spinnaker wrote, I interpret these lines as a conversation with yourself, LO being a part that may have been split off and buried within you. A side of you that want's to be nice to you....maybe even given the similarity of his eyes to that of your mum, perhaps there were all-too-fleeting glimpses in her own eyes of wanting to be nice to you, but that part inside of her was trapped in there by the controlling narcissist side of her. LO was a medium to let that side of her, now carried within you, out of the prison. Just musing on those lines.....and as it was a dream, the lines may be true: No one is leaving because these sentiments are within you to embrace and make peace with.

AMA210
Posts: 1089
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm

Re: The First of Many

Post by AMA210 » Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:06 pm

@Spinnaker: "Have you felt the emptiness before? If so, have you gone to the school feeling empty, been near him with that empty feeling, and then after seeing him, felt the emptiness disappear and assume he filled it?
Or, is this empty feeling you had after the dream, a physical emptiness in your chest-- Something new?"

In reply to your first question -- no, didn't go to school feeling empty and then he filled it. It was more like when I saw him, he would light me up inside, which would then make its way to my face, all glowing and smiling. So, something new, yes, like a void, a hole, an empty space within. I would equal it to a loss (which it is).

I cried on and off all day yesterday and then before bed, I tripped and twisted my knee, which then hurt, and was crying for at least 1/2 hour before bed. DH came in and said does it hurt that much and I said yeah. I thought of telling him that it was because I was having a drug withdraw, but decided not to.

I keep telling myself, LO has his own life, just like you have yours, and even if he felt the same, it wouldn't matter, because you are both married. You can't have him, he is not yours. Over and over and over. =((

AMA210
Posts: 1089
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm

Re: The First of Many

Post by AMA210 » Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:10 pm

This question that was never answered, although I think the answer is yes, but LO and I were walking around, asking random people this question -- we would hug in front of them and then ask "can you see any heat between us?" Some people were confused, other people were yeah, sure, why not, and others were definitely, you might as well do it right here in front of everyone.

The conclusion of my experiment was "can't be determined."

jennifer333
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:28 pm

Re: The First of Many

Post by jennifer333 » Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:04 pm

Typically if I dream of LO, we are usually in a work related place. However you know how work settings in dreams go; it is "work" but it looks different. He will be there, but not help me if I need help. He will disappear at the end of the work shift, or right before I wake up. Most of the dream is about me searching for him and trying to find him, but a lot of the time I will see him from afar and not be able to reach him. So even in my dreams he leaves me.

Heart_Open
Posts: 643
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:52 pm

Re: The First of Many

Post by Heart_Open » Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:50 pm

jennifer333 wrote:
Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:04 pm
Typically if I dream of LO, we are usually in a work related place. However you know how work settings in dreams go; it is "work" but it looks different. He will be there, but not help me if I need help. He will disappear at the end of the work shift, or right before I wake up. Most of the dream is about me searching for him and trying to find him, but a lot of the time I will see him from afar and not be able to reach him. So even in my dreams he leaves me.
This is fascinating. You are searching for a part of you...trying to find some part of you. You will always have you, but perhaps you are worried that you are taking leave of your senses. Try and replace the LO with another aspect of yourself in this dream. Explore it, what are you trying to tell yourself?

JupiterTaco
Posts: 1698
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm

Re: The First of Many

Post by JupiterTaco » Sun Mar 19, 2017 6:51 pm

Heart_Open wrote:
Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:50 pm
jennifer333 wrote:
Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:04 pm
Typically if I dream of LO, we are usually in a work related place. However you know how work settings in dreams go; it is "work" but it looks different. He will be there, but not help me if I need help. He will disappear at the end of the work shift, or right before I wake up. Most of the dream is about me searching for him and trying to find him, but a lot of the time I will see him from afar and not be able to reach him. So even in my dreams he leaves me.
This is fascinating. You are searching for a part of you...trying to find some part of you. You will always have you, but perhaps you are worried that you are taking leave of your senses. Try and replace the LO with another aspect of yourself in this dream. Explore it, what are you trying to tell yourself?
Never thought of it that way! When I was fully limerent, I'd have dreams like that, where LO would see me and not say anything, or me trying to find him. When I'd be over it I'd dream about him confessing his love for me, etc. So strange. @-)
"Be careful with your heart and what you love, make sure that it was sent from above"-John Mellencamp/India.Arie Peaceful World

AMA210
Posts: 1089
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm

Re: The First of Many

Post by AMA210 » Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:43 pm

Very brief one last night.....we were at church and I saw LO standing on the other side, black jacket and all. He saw me and motioned to leave, meet him in the back of church. So we got there and my sister was there and I introduced him and she said this is the one who fucked up your life? Then to him she says, I've seen pics of you and you really don't look much better in person. She made him feel so bad.

We started walking home together and I said, see, this proves that I am in a limerent induced fantasy because I am the only other one (besides your wife) who thinks you are hot.

AMA210
Posts: 1089
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm

Re: The First of Many

Post by AMA210 » Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:05 pm

It was raining and I had my black jacket on with the hood, I went into school by accident and found myself in the library to maybe help out there. I went over to a table and there was someone there already with their back towards me, who was playing rap music quite loudly.

I said, can you turn that down, it's supposed to be quiet in here. I hate that rap crap.

He turned around and it was LO. I said what are you doing here? Then we started talking back and forth. I took off my jacket and put it in the chair on top of his. We were goofing around. I said you better shut up otherwise we will get kicked out. He said they can't kick me out because I work here.

He came over to my side of the table and hugged me. He said I miss having your breasts against me. I said what you say? He looked at me and said, all of this time, I have feelings for you.....I don't love you, but you make me feel alive. I said you are just saying that to make me feel better. He said no, it's true, I am afraid of it because we are both married. Then he sat back down and continued with his work. I was shocked.

When I woke up, his eyes were staring into my soul.

=((

AMA210
Posts: 1089
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm

Re: The First of Many

Post by AMA210 » Sun Apr 16, 2017 3:10 pm

LO has been in my dreams all week. It's getting frustrating. It's like my brain is trying to understand and accept that I cannot see him anymore. No particular situations - just that he is there.

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