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Addiction comes in many forms

What did you learn from your expereince of limerence? How did you change? how did you grow? What were the upsides and downsides?
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Addiction comes in many forms

Post by Spinnaker » Sun Aug 13, 2017 8:05 am

Limerence has been a life altering experience for the better. I've finally taken time in my life to stop worrying about everyone else and see what I need to do to fix myself.

The addiction which plagued my life prior to limerence was alcohol addiction-- not the kind which causes problems for anyone...not for anyone but me. Because, I knew deep down the alcohol was an addiction.

When I quit drinking, I thought quitting would be the answer to all of my problems. My marriage would improve... Family members would surely recognize their own addictions....Surely I'd get thin and we will finally have money for vacations! Most importantly, this inexplicable pain in my core...this hole which nothing seems to fill... will magically go away. I will no longer wake up every single day and beat myself up over what I could and should be doing better.

Quitting drinking fixed NONE of those problems.

6 months after I quit, I began to obsess about this man I had a working relationship with and had been infatuated with for years. I didn't realize that my addiction could follow me to obsessively pinning for another man.
At the height of limerence even an addict like me was clueless as to what was happening...completely unaware...What I thought was reality was a mirage. Limerence took over my inner world.

After 8 months, LO insisted we stop seeing eachother and communicating. That wake up call revealed how broken I was... in truth...I needed help.

Weekly therapy has uncovered a boatload of issues to resolve. I've come a long way, but my journey is far from over.

Accepting that there is no map or even roads built to reach my destination hasn't been easy for me. I had to accept that destination is unknown....

Learning patience has been a challenge. Fortunately, I am no longer anxious or looking for a White Knight. I guess that makes me a melting snowflake and quite humbled rather than entitled these days.

Slowing down has been the hardest lesson in my LE. . There was no crash course for me because #1 I had and still have a lot of growing up to do. Turning the mirror and accepting my flaws...seeing the ugliness..owning my mistakes and feeling confident in my inner beauty. All necessary to move through limerence.

Every week, I learn more about myself and gather tools along the way to help me fight my addictive thoughts and share with others who might benefit from hearing my journey.
Last edited by Spinnaker on Thu Aug 31, 2017 4:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
"I'll become what I deserve".

Ben Howard

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Re: Addiction comes in many forms

Post by EXlfjb » Sun Aug 13, 2017 8:27 am

I love your story :x

But then... I always will.

I believe in you Spinnaker. I know you will make it come hell or high water.



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Re: Addiction comes in many forms

Post by Anna » Sun Aug 13, 2017 9:06 am

This is very inspiring, Spinnaker! Thank you for sharing.

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