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men and emotions

A place to help from being limerent again and how to cope with limerence in future relationships.
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David
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Re: men and emotions

Post by David » Sat Sep 15, 2018 1:29 am

Havb wrote:
Fri Sep 14, 2018 11:46 pm
I do wonder if my limerent attraction to younger men has something to do with wishful thinking. If my husband hadn’t gained weight; if he hadn’t lost his hair; If he hadn’t aged. Pretty narcissistic thought, since all 3 have happened to me as well and he’s not limerent!
Too many men when married stop making an effort. We think we've captured our wife and no longer have to work at this thing called love. I hold my hands up and put myself in this camp.

The dead bedroon and married redpilled reddit forums are an interesting read. The first lesson is to own your own shit and start the heavy lifting. That heavy lifting includes literal lifting with weights so getting yourself in shape too make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.

Again, im not sure how this relates to men showing emotions in the way modern day society and most therapists are expecting men to do. I used to believe it was cultural / societal pressures that made it hard for men to express feelings. My own female T was strongly of this view.

My views have changed and believe men work differently. We cant rewire thousands of years of evolution in 2 or 3 generations. Chris Ryan’s Sex at Dawn is an interesting read on this topic and Tom Golden’s youtube channel and books are a must for men wanting to learn more on this.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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Spinnaker
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Re: men and emotions

Post by Spinnaker » Sat Sep 15, 2018 1:39 am

Thank you for explaining. It’s been 30 years since I studied the subject and I recall learning aspects of what you and R said.

I wonder what percentage of men would fall into the Beta category?

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David
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Re: men and emotions

Post by David » Sat Sep 15, 2018 7:18 am

Spinnaker wrote:
Sat Sep 15, 2018 1:39 am
Thank you for explaining. It’s been 30 years since I studied the subject and I recall learning aspects of what you and R said.

I wonder what percentage of men would fall into the Beta category?
Id guess 80% from what ive read in the red pill community and from what i observe of the men i coach, although that is a skewed cross section. And of the 20% of alphas that eventually settle down, i suspect many of these will get betatised (sounds like baptised).
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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LostAgain
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Re: men and emotions

Post by LostAgain » Sat Sep 15, 2018 11:25 am

I have known that I am a Beta since I was little ,though I wasn't aware of the term or division into category.
I watched with envy as Alpha friends,many as thick as the proverbial pigshit,shagged the prettiest girls.
Now I watch as they survey their trashed marriages and friendships,their lost ,unsupported offspring and wonder Why ?
The sad thing is the majority still try to bed any woman with a pulse .
Moi ? Well I at least have the benefit of not being driven by my genitals which enables me to be philosophical sometimes.

mamasita
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Re: men and emotions

Post by mamasita » Mon Sep 17, 2018 2:53 pm

My DH is definitely all alpha male, but just now showing a beta side that I am learning to get to know as well. I don't perceive it as weakness and he is still alpha in the way he has always been alpha in the bedroom or in the public eye.
Last edited by mamasita on Mon Sep 17, 2018 6:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LostAgain
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Re: men and emotions

Post by LostAgain » Mon Sep 17, 2018 5:37 pm

Uhhuh ,I got a hunkahunkaburninlurv.

NVTS
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Re: men and emotions

Post by NVTS » Thu Sep 20, 2018 4:14 am

I am I suppose a beta male. I have no real inherent talent such as athletics or arts. I was never the “ladies man” although I really envied those dudes who possessed those traits. It took me long time to come to terms with this realization and it was well before I discovered the term limerence.

We used to call it being “nerdy” or a “wuss”. Who wants to be those adjectives?!?! But as Popye said” I ams what I ams!” So I’ve tried to embrace it, seeing what a bunch of assholes most of the alphas I know and work with. What I have slowly learned is that people ( women) are attracted to CONFIDENCE; but there is a fine line between that and arrogance, which almost nobody likes.

So this is my lot in life and I have to make the best of it.
M-47-married
LO- married 47,work colleagues

Havb
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Re: men and emotions

Post by Havb » Thu Sep 20, 2018 7:16 pm

I married one, NVTS, and we are happy. Nothing wrong with being a Beta male.
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

There is always more work to be done.

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