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Romance scam and limerent wife.

A place to help from being limerent again and how to cope with limerence in future relationships.
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Romance scam and limerent wife.

Post by Wavid144 » Thu Mar 02, 2017 4:33 am

My wife of 37 years self medicates in a crisis by becoming limerent for someone other than me. When her father died a few years ago, she became limerent for my best friend. He did not reciprocate, it wore off over time. When I was diagnosed with a serious illness she began friending and talking to romance scammers on Facebook. She soon became limerent with one of them and began an intense, passionate, long term affair with one of them, it ended when I broke into her chat and found she had sent him thousands on our credit cards so he could come stateside and he could make love to her and run away together, I managed to convince her it was a scam and she ended the affair. I have been in limerence for her for 37 years. She settled down into attachment love for me years ago. She has bankrupted me, broke my heart, will likely do it again, and I still cant leave her. Am I crazy?

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Re: Romance scam and limerent wife.

Post by EXlfjb » Thu Mar 02, 2017 4:39 am

Welcome to the forum W!

No you are not crazy. You'll find lots of information on this site, and support too!

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Re: Romance scam and limerent wife.

Post by David » Thu Mar 02, 2017 6:14 am

Welcome Wavid144

What is crazy? Just a label.

that said, sounds like there are some issues that are akin to limerence/love addiction.

My advice, seek professional help with a therapist that understands love addiction and limerence.

You will also get deeper understanding from others here.

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see

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Re: Romance scam and limerent wife.

Post by limerentgirl » Thu Mar 02, 2017 7:57 pm

@Wavid144, your story is heartbreaking :(

One thing that always prevented me from being mistreated by LO's for long periods is that I'm a little bit impulsive. Eventually I freak out, tell the person to go to hell and leave. A couple of days after those freak out episodes I usually regret it and suffer a lot, but it's hard to just come back after and the attachment eventually fades.

I hope you will find a behavior that gives you peace. Honestly I would say to you to run from this relationship and never look back, but I know things are not that simple because she is your LO and it hurt so badly.

It's just that nobody knows a short-term cure for serial limerence, specially if the person lacks self-awareness. If she didn't commit fully with fighting LE, you are gonna waste many more years in this relationship, and what are you gonna have in return?

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