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Suggestions for Closure of LE

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AMA210
Posts: 2385
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
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Suggestions for Closure of LE

Post by AMA210 »

I have posted a few updates on my LE here, but wanted to summarize where I was before and how I got to where I am right now.

There has been no communication between LO and myself for two years and two months. Even though the limerence had receded during this time, there was still more work and healing that was needed. During this time, I met two people who helped me with the divorce process and a few others who helped me to learn valuable lessons on this spiritual awakening journey. Also during this time, and every 3-4 months, there would be windows of contact that would open up, typically for 2-3 weeks. During these times, there was never any communication, but only coincidental meetings. About half of them were on roads away from the school, and several times, LO would be driving behind me. Sometimes there would be a half smile or a quick wave, but that was it. Sometimes, when I look into my rear view mirror, I still see his face staring back at me. This haunts me at times because the feeling associated with this is cold and harsh.

I really couldn't figure out why this kept happening. I thought maybe he was coming around because he was realizing that we had this awesome connection and that he would one day, initiate a conversation. I kept holding onto that and waiting for that to happen. Because it never did, now I think that all of those windows were disguised as triggers to continue to move me along and heal all of the intense emotions surrounding this.

I have been in one of the windows the entire month of October! I have concluded that this has been a repeating cycle and that I am the only one who can end it. So, I decided to create the closure that I have been waiting for all of these years and I have been working on this every day.

I have been purposely driving by the school and when I see him, using that as a way to look inside of me and inside of it for answers. The past two weeks have been filled with a lot of sadness. I sat down and wrote out what I need from him and the first answer was attention. The next question was: what is he giving you that would qualify as attention? An answer was when he acknowledges me and that was it!
The next day after seeing him, I asked: what are my expectations on him? There was a long list of those, one being that I want him to realize that we could have this great relationship, but in order to do that, he would have to get divorced. When I was done, there as a lot of expectations that I hadn't realized.

This week, the questions are a bit different, and I think I have entered the anger part of this. Yesterday when I saw him, my questions were: What are all of the things you don't like about him and what do you really think about him, based solely on his behavior towards you? My answers uncovered some stuff that was pushed way down. Really old red flags that I had not just ignored, but completely buried. This surprised me.

So, from doing the above, I am also being very aware of the thoughts that I have regarding him. When I catch myself thinking about LO, I stop it and ask myself this question: what could you be thinking about instead OR what could you be focusing on instead? It brings the focus back to myself.

Also, had an idea recently to self-validate. I recorded a summary of what was mentioned above and in my own words, validated my own thoughts surrounding this. It's a way to get it out of my head, but also to hear it described be me, makes it more concrete and acceptable. It also brings all of this out of the fantasy stage and into the reality state.

The reason that I am doing all of this work so fervently is because I decided that this contract that I had with him will end on October 31. There is a new full moon on that day and I'm hoping to utilize that energy from it. My intention is to write this contract on a very small piece of paper and then put it inside of a balloon and let the wind take it away.
Also, I decided to add to my existing butterfly tattoo, by incorporating the lotus flower and a few other water elements. This particular flower grows up and out of the mud, which is very similar to the LE.

I feel very strongly that it is time to incorporate all of the lessons of this LE and the personal transformation that I have experienced as a person, and move on. I am using all of the power that I took back from him to move ahead. Part of what I have learned is that I don't need LO or anyone else to make me happy because that comes from within me.

Thanks for reading. :)
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
peter.rabbit
Posts: 450
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Suggestions for Closure of LE

Post by peter.rabbit »

AMA210 wrote: Tue Oct 20, 2020 3:34 pm My intention is to write this contract on a very small piece of paper and then put it inside of a balloon and let the wind take it away.
Also, I decided to add to my existing butterfly tattoo, by incorporating the lotus flower and a few other water elements. This particular flower grows up and out of the mud, which is very similar to the LE.

I feel very strongly that it is time to incorporate all of the lessons of this LE and the personal transformation that I have experienced as a person, and move on. I am using all of the power that I took back from him to move ahead. Part of what I have learned is that I don't need LO or anyone else to make me happy because that comes from within me.
I think you have the right idea, all the way around. The Lotus flower is the symbol of beauty, strength & purity. You have set your intentions, you are taking your personal power and using it to secure your own peace.

Namaste.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
AMA210
Posts: 2385
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Suggestions for Closure of LE

Post by AMA210 »

Thank you, peter-rabbit.
Namaste
Never give up! Keep moving forward, no matter what.
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