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The Fault in Our Stars

A section to post what worked for you in your healing, recovery and growth. Includes some useful stickies from more experienced members of this forum.
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Erata
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The Fault in Our Stars

Post by Erata » Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:40 pm

I wonder what we have learned from studying astrology to help us understand why we do what we do in relationships.
After my LS died, I began to study some older forms of astrology, looking at both our charts. Recently, I began looking at Vedic (East Indian) astrology and I have found the information quite helpful.

I know Jung was a proponent. I like to study astrology not to blame an external locus, but to surface dynamics that I otherwise might not have a clear grasp of simply due to muddiness of consciousness. I've found astrology to be a fairly effective mirror of the soul.

What can the stars tell us? The seventh house describes our relationship dynamics: what helps and hinders, leads and motivates our relationships with SOs and others. Venus describes the style of relationship that attracts us, our creativity and our values. Saturn reveals our fears. Moon (in Vedic) is both relationship with mother and the nexus of mind and feeling. Sun is father, and the soul. Jupiter is the SO for women, as Venus is the SO for men. Mars is the romantic partner for unmarried women. Sorry, men, you get Venus again for your LO, so spouse doubles as LO in your chart. Men, look at your fifth house for relationship with LO. Mercury describes communication style.

North Node tells us where we are highly motivated to succeed--sometimes to the point of becoming self-destructive. South node tells us where we tend to "drop the ball," or become personally absent or dissociate.

The planets are rudimentary elements of the chart. Their placement in houses tells us in what area of life they are active. The signs they are in describe their state--what motivates them, which other planets affect them.

The twelfth house for example, shows foreign (or distant) habitation, the bedroom, dream life, imagination, fantasy, meditation, addiction, self-destruction.

Here is a classic sign of limerence: Venus in the twelfth house, described here by Barbara Pijan Lama:

http://www.barbarapijan.com/bpa/graha/Z ... sthana.htm

Because the mythology of Vedic astrology comes from Hinduism, I personally like the "new eyes" I get from looking at the myths associated with the stars. There is a good balance of masculine and feminine in this approach. Thank God for Hinduism!

As I have time, I hope to demonstrate dynamics in a few birth charts as examples. I hope readers feel welcome to engage with questions or observations.
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. --Rumi

AMA210
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Re: The Fault in Our Stars

Post by AMA210 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 3:43 pm

Sounds interesting and perhaps as a distraction from LO. I looked at the link briefly and exclaimed "this is all Greek to me." :)
53 years old, married for 27 years
LE was 22 months and LO works four blocks from my home

"Always moving forward"

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french girl
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Re: The Fault in Our Stars

Post by french girl » Thu Feb 01, 2018 4:15 pm

Erata wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:40 pm
Venus describes the style of relationship that attracts us, our creativity and our values.
Sometimes I look up my LO's chart, but I don't know much about astrology.

I noticed though that my longtime ex-SO, my LO and my current SO all have Venus in Cancer.

When I met LO, I noticed after some time he had his birthday the same day as my longtime SO.
When I looked at their chart, I could see they both had Mercury and Venus in Cancer, and Mars in Leo...
But as always, I suppose that when you're looking for coincidences, you're bound to find some...

But maybe these astrological features really have an influence on my LO's and my ex-SO's personalities...
When I met LO, I was still with my ex-SO, and there were things in my LO that felt disturbingly familiar, maybe just because his personality was a bit like my SO's personality...
So I began to wonder why I couldn't have this guy too, LO felt so much like my SO... :((
(I probably wanted to start a collection of guys like SO... /:) )
« Love is giving something you don't have to someone who doesn't want it. » Jacques Lacan

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Erata
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Re: The Fault in Our Stars

Post by Erata » Thu Feb 01, 2018 6:17 pm

Hi, AMA210
Sounds interesting and perhaps as a distraction from LO. I looked at the link briefly and exclaimed "this is all Greek to me." :)
That's reasonable, starting from zero in the study of astrology! It is a language of its own, the language of light (Jyotisha) according to the Hindus, or the language of God's voice in nature, according to some Jewish sources.

I would be happy to show how it works, comparing the chart to life, from a couple of examples. Here are the caveats:

If you are willing to engage in a discussion of your chart (not your SO's or your LO's, unless they explicitly give permission or have passed on), you can PM me your birth data:

Date, Place (nearest large city and state or nation) and Time of birth.

I will make a link to your chart information and post it back to the group on this thread with observations. Because we don't know your real name, it will remain anonymous.

Let me know if you have specific questions about your limerence, such as: what motivates it?
What area(s) of your life does it affect?
What is your habitual pattern in relationships?
What do you need to know about yourself to learn the lessons of limerence?

Or other questions that seem important to you.

I may be able to do a few of these charts as examples. I will need some time to respond.
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. --Rumi

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Re: The Fault in Our Stars

Post by mamasita » Thu Feb 01, 2018 6:24 pm

I've always found astrology to be very interesting. My sister is really into it and charted (not sure if that's the right term) myself and our other sister.
All three of us are very different but our similarities were amazing. I am a Leo...but a Virgo ascendant, Leo sun, Taurus moon.
I didn't dig too deep regarding my SO (who is also a Leo) or my LO (Cancer).
I will PM you because I am interested in the aspects that relate to limerence.

Thank you!

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Erata
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Re: The Fault in Our Stars

Post by Erata » Thu Feb 01, 2018 6:28 pm

Hi, French Girl!
Sometimes I look up my LO's chart, but I don't know much about astrology.
I understand your curiosity. I have studied my LO's chart, because he was dead and I couldn't get the answers any other way. Well, mediumship, but that's a whole nother thing. The dead have no privacy rights here in the USA--I'm not sure whether your laws are any different.

For the sake of respecting SO and LO's boundaries as well as the bounty of insights that can be gained from your own chart, I suggest you start there.

PM me with your birth details if you'd like to get started!
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. --Rumi

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Erata
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Re: The Fault in Our Stars

Post by Erata » Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:25 am

Hi, Mamasita!

Thanks for offering your chart information for us to learn from. I've PM'd you a couple of questions to confirm the birth time given. It's just a routine thing astrologers do. It's an interesting chart.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

--Erata
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. --Rumi

mamasita
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Re: The Fault in Our Stars

Post by mamasita » Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:57 pm

This is very interesting, and extremely accurate.
Spot on with my mom and dad...how they were/are.
My father is withdrawn and distant, and I identify with feelings of engulfment...which I thought I got from both parents, possibly.
This answers a lot of questions, particularly relating to my mother, who died when I was 12.
Thank you so much.

Katrulz
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Re: The Fault in Our Stars

Post by Katrulz » Tue Jan 08, 2019 8:32 pm

I found this useful. I looked up my chart from this website: https://www.astromitra.com/online_horos ... -chart.php

It tells me:
"You need to learn how to forgive and forget and how to release your emotions and frustrations positively." - Mars in Capricorn
"You need people and may find it difficult to feel comfortable in your own company." - Venus in Libra
"Tendencies to day-dreaming may need to be controlled." - Moon in Pisces
"You have a very romantic nature and can fall in love with love." - Moon in Pisces
"have difficulty saying "no"." - Sun in Libra
" They want to be liked by everyone, sometimes to their detriment." - Sun in Libra

Day dreaming can lead to a limerence. However, with a history of limerence since childhood, a shyness and a difficulty saying no (which leads to me being manipulated), I've found it easier to stay away from people which has caused myself pain. As apparently I "need people". So when I give in and get into social situations again, that pain basically pulls me to the closest available person who gives me attention and they become an LO. As my SO knows about my limerence and was aware when I fell for my latest LO, to keep my SO around when NC with LO started, I said I'd try to stay away from social situations and made a goal to not get another LO (or I'll lose my SO).

The chart is basically telling me that I need to learn to let go more, stop daydreaming and go easy on the social interactions (but not run away from them completely). Tough but helpful advice.
Married Female Age 32.
Multiple LO's since primary school ending with reciprication, transference, starvation and burnout.
Started NC 10/12/18 with last platonic LO.

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