Right. She does, and should use it.David wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:48 pmAnother example of gynocentrism training men to be white knights. Does your wife not have the ability to speak?MrSpock wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 2:40 amMy position was that if she wanted to sit on the couch she should have tell hem. Her position was that she would never do that because she didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable, so it was my job to do that. We kept arguing each one defending the position.
That was very precisely the content of our discussion, maybe even with the same choice of concepts
My progress is in the form of being able to argue this sort of thing without a fight. She always plays the poor victim card, and I tend to just want to jump and strangle her
I'm getting a lot better at keeping the discussion civilized.
What I meant with that sentence you quoted is that, in any case, at the end of the day I cannot change her. I can only change myself, and in the meantime, is take it or leave it. Now I'm way past the "then leave it" phase, as I balanced the pros and cons and I'm NOT better off without.
The attitude of her that I presented here is pretty fucked up in my opinion, but, other than tell her each time she does this, there is nothing else I can do (short of going my way).
Now, one thing that I also figured out over the years, which I didn't mention here, is that we are all fucked up here or there. If I were myself an angel, I might think that I deserve better, but I don't. I'm only telling you what she does... but she would happily tell you what I do, that is just equally a reason to jump and strangle me