The Conscious Choice between Logic and Emotion

A section to post what worked for you in your healing, recovery and growth. Includes some useful stickies from more experienced members of this forum.
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AMA210
Posts: 1556
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm

The Conscious Choice between Logic and Emotion

Post by AMA210 » Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:10 pm

I sit here, faced with a conscious choice. Before right now, there was no choice, only impulse and the compulsion to see LO to fuel my obsession and to feel better.

Logical Choice: Don't drive by, avoid the area, go a different way, it will make you stronger, next time will be easier

Result: I am in control of this, not LO. I will feel empowered. I am moving ahead.


Emotional Choice: I will drive by, hoping to see LO. If I don't see him, I am disappointed. If I see him, I will be high and happy and energized, but then I will crash down, cry, long for him more.

Result: LO is in control. I have to start again. I will withdraw again. The cycle will begin and I will slide backwards. I will feel shame and guilt for not being strong enough to fight it.

The Escape: Right now, my daughter is home from school and she is driving me nuts. I want an excuse to withdraw from her.
Last edited by AMA210 on Wed Jun 14, 2017 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
52 years old, married for 26 years
LO is 53 years old, married for 7 years
LE is 20 months

Heart_Open
Posts: 681
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:52 pm

Re: The Conscious Choice between Logic and Emotion

Post by Heart_Open » Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:43 pm

I am interested in how you say about LO being in control. Would you not say it is more your limerent self vs your logical self rather than a matter of control between you and LO? He isn't asking you to go drive by, to go see him. I have been there though - that overwhelming urge to just go and see him (to drive by or stop and say hi). I know how strong that pull is. But LO was never in control, he never won. It was all me ( I had no idea about limerence then), and I understood it was all me. I think you know this yet for now you choose to give him the power still, that he is in control (I don't believe you believe he is in control but your choice of words is interesting is all. )

AMA210
Posts: 1556
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm

Re: The Conscious Choice between Logic and Emotion

Post by AMA210 » Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:01 pm

Heart_Open wrote:
Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:43 pm
I am interested in how you say about LO being in control. Would you not say it is more your limerent self vs your logical self rather than a matter of control between you and LO? He isn't asking you to go drive by, to go see him. I have been there though - that overwhelming urge to just go and see him (to drive by or stop and say hi). I know how strong that pull is. But LO was never in control, he never won. It was all me ( I had no idea about limerence then), and I understood it was all me. I think you know this yet for now you choose to give him the power still, that he is in control (I don't believe you believe he is in control but your choice of words is interesting is all. )
LO knows I am obsessed, knows how I feel, knows I want to give him attention -- this is where the control/power comes from.
Limerent self has no control, only impulsive.
True, he isnt asking me to drive by. Although, if I do, then he knows I am thinking about him.
I believe LO did win here because he got me In trouble, damaged my reputation, blamed me for everything. The only win I can take back from him is to show him that I stopped caring.
Not sure if that helps. :)
52 years old, married for 26 years
LO is 53 years old, married for 7 years
LE is 20 months

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