Midlife Women: Hormones Might Be At Play

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Midlife Women: Hormones Might Be At Play

Post by DragonTamer » Mon Apr 24, 2017 7:09 pm

For all the lovely, limerent ladies in mid-life:

About two years ago I noticed that I was becoming more and more attracted to men who weren't my husband, and one who I went full limerent for, and it bothered me because although no marriage is perfect, and all are hard work, I never felt attracted to other men nor did I ever consider cheating on him.

Unfortunately, all that changed and although I don't feel comfortable going into too much detail, I'm happy to say I'm on the road back to total commitment to my marriage and, more importantly, a newfound commitment to my own authenticity, which is something I've sacrificed probably all my life in the desire to be a "good" and "likeable" woman.

The most important thing I learned on this two-year exploration was that my hormones were influencing my behavior more than I realized. I'm in my early forties and women in perimenopause (the transition before menopause) sometimes, but not always, experience something I call "last ditch hormones" which are the body's last desperate attempt to get us to reproduce before we can no longer.

My sex drive went through the roof, more than even in my twenties. I tried to involve my husband, but his hormones are on the decline, so he couldn't keep up with the demand. But I was also finding myself being attracted to other men, and they to me, for the first time in over a decade. So not only was my body trying to get me to get with other men, but it was also sending out pheromones to other men that I was down to clown. This was a shock because I hadn't had male attention in over a decade. This combination of attraction is what triggered my particular limerence because I hadn't had limerence for anyone in over TWO decades. I'm not a serial limerent by any means.

If you think you might be going through this, know that there's help out there. I found a counselor specializing in this sort of thing (but the rules of the forum say I'm not allowed to say who) and she helped turn me around. Find a counselor who recognizes and understands the libido changes that many midlife women go through and stop blaming yourself if this is the case.

Good luck to all of us.

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