Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

A common theme appearing on these forums is co-dependency.
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AMA210
Posts: 1556
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm

Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

Post by AMA210 » Tue Apr 11, 2017 3:05 am

All of the time to LO, saying I'm sorry. Sometimes it just slipped out.
I'm sorry I lied to you.
I'm sorry if I'm bothering you.
I'm sorry this happened.
I'm sorry, but this is how I feel.
I'm sorry I showed up.

Pathetic. I never apologized so much to someone in my life.
Maybe I did with my FOO, but don't really remember that.
52 years old, married for 26 years
LO is 53 years old, married for 7 years
LE is 20 months

Dunk16
Posts: 35
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2016 1:48 pm

Re: Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

Post by Dunk16 » Tue Apr 11, 2017 4:32 pm

I find myself doing this as well. I am constantly apologizing for who I am, what I believe, how I feel, etc. (only to LO). I am making a serious effort to stop this. He's a jerk to me and most people and never apologizes, why should I.
"Your beliefs keep you attached to a specific vibrational level. Change your beliefs and you will change your vibration. Change your vibration and you will change your whole world." —Roxana Jones

JupiterTaco
Posts: 2192
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm

Re: Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

Post by JupiterTaco » Thu Apr 20, 2017 1:58 am

Dunk16 wrote:
Tue Apr 11, 2017 4:32 pm
I find myself doing this as well. I am constantly apologizing for who I am, what I believe, how I feel, etc. (only to LO). I am making a serious effort to stop this. He's a jerk to me and most people and never apologizes, why should I.
I do that a lot too, am trying to stop. :)
"Between the velvet lies, there's a truth as hard as steel"-Dio, Holy Diver

JupiterTaco
Posts: 2192
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm

Re: Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

Post by JupiterTaco » Thu Apr 20, 2017 1:59 am

Aquamarine21 wrote:
Tue Apr 11, 2017 3:05 am
All of the time to LO, saying I'm sorry. Sometimes it just slipped out.
I'm sorry I lied to you.
I'm sorry if I'm bothering you.
I'm sorry this happened.
I'm sorry, but this is how I feel.
I'm sorry I showed up.

Pathetic. I never apologized so much to someone in my life.
Maybe I did with my FOO, but don't really remember that.
That's where it started in my family.
"Between the velvet lies, there's a truth as hard as steel"-Dio, Holy Diver

marko
Posts: 1029
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:20 pm

Re: Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

Post by marko » Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:03 pm

Trying to look really good for the LO. Been there, done that.

Matty5000
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Jul 08, 2017 1:07 pm

Re: Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

Post by Matty5000 » Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:59 pm

Seems to be a common thing. I as well apologized too much to my LO. It's almost as if to say I'm so sorry please don't hate me you are perfect like me back!!! Well i'm not sorry dang it! I'm a good man and anyone who doesn't appreciate me for who I am isn't worth my time. Look yourself in the mirror and say that to yourselves. "I am a good person and I am worthy of love. Anyone who doesn't appreciate me isn't worth my time." Now go crush it baby!!!
Matty the "amateur limerent"

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FreeBird
Posts: 343
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 12:51 am

Re: Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

Post by FreeBird » Mon Jul 17, 2017 7:54 pm

@Matty5000 \m/ :-bd
"The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing."-Blaise Pascal
Me/LS: middle-aged, married woman
LO: middle-aged, married man with children
LE: L developed around age 12. LO was good friend of my FOO, now deceased.

Cookie
Posts: 249
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:08 pm

Re: Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

Post by Cookie » Tue Oct 03, 2017 7:22 pm

Matty5000 wrote:
Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:59 pm
Seems to be a common thing. I as well apologized too much to my LO. It's almost as if to say I'm so sorry please don't hate me you are perfect like me back!!! Well i'm not sorry dang it! I'm a good man and anyone who doesn't appreciate me for who I am isn't worth my time. Look yourself in the mirror and say that to yourselves. "I am a good person and I am worthy of love. Anyone who doesn't appreciate me isn't worth my time." Now go crush it baby!!!
My last three interactions with LO were mostly "I'm sorry for acting the way I did." Now keep in mind, I had just lost a loved one and was reeling. What made it so hard was he would say, "I'm listening," yet his responses through all of that were very short and unemotional. And he had already retreated somewhat. I kind of drove myself crazy wondering if he was just trying to give me space. I still don't understand it, but it doesn't matter. I think that "normal" people would have asked, "Is there anything I can do?" or "How's it going today?" Not just, "I'm listening," which made him sound like a bored librarian. It was clear that the realness of my emotion freaked him out, and at that point I was no longer just a doll.

Radey
Posts: 240
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:10 am

Re: Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

Post by Radey » Tue Oct 03, 2017 10:39 pm

Hey Everyone
I kept apologising too! In fact my last communication with him was an apology! Now that I am in recess from LE, I wonder why I kept apologising. Being attracted to someone is not something to apologise for. I did not do anything offensive or overt. I just showed interest in him and of course he enjoyed the attention! He acted like Cookie's LO when he asked me about my parents and I said they were both dead. He just went quiet so I had to change the topic! It seems like he is incapable of handling anything to do with emotions. He was so nice to me at the beginning! Very charming and flirty! As soon as I started showing interest in him the silent treatment started and I would think I did something wrong to offend him. I wonder why we fall for these emotionally unavailable people!

Cookie
Posts: 249
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:08 pm

Re: Saying I'm Sorry Too Much

Post by Cookie » Wed Oct 04, 2017 12:30 am

Radey wrote:
Tue Oct 03, 2017 10:39 pm
Hey Everyone
It seems like he is incapable of handling anything to do with emotions. He was so nice to me at the beginning! Very charming and flirty! As soon as I started showing interest in him the silent treatment started and I would think I did something wrong to offend him. I wonder why we fall for these emotionally unavailable people!
Because we are *overly* emotionally available. Two sides of the same coin, as David said to me in another thread.

That's the simplistic view, Radey, and I can't pretend I'm not still pondering this greatly.

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