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Background on Sexuality

Anything here related to matters sexual
AMA210
Posts: 1898
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
United States of America

Re: Background on Sexuality

Post by AMA210 » Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:36 pm

Limerentfriend wrote:
Fri Mar 31, 2017 9:47 am
So if you blame your LO for not stopping... perhaps seek professional help in this area. What you are really wanting is someone to parent you. You are an Adult, never forget that!

Were you raped too? Did you ever find yourself in a position where you wished you could have said STOP? Just wondering
No never. Although, there was lots of blame shifting in my FOO. Lots of fighting and yelling also. I often felt that my opinion didn't matter and when I tried to stop an argument from escalating, I ended up in the middle, having to choose a side.
This happened a lot -- mom didn't drive, only dad, so if we were going somewhere new, dad, being awful with directions, would make a wrong turn and end up getting lost. Mom would start yelling and we never got to our destination because everyone was too upset and mom would say to dad "you are too stupid to drive". So we went home and I was always disappointed that we didn't get there.
I tried to be helpful -- ask for directions or just backtrack -- but didn't matter, would just get yelled at also.

So yes, many times, wanted to say just stop it.

My FOO was even more fucked up than I realized.
53 years old, married for 27 years
LE was 22 months and LO works four blocks from my home

"Always moving forward"

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3249
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Background on Sexuality

Post by JupiterTaco » Fri Mar 31, 2017 7:34 pm

Aquamarine21 wrote:
Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:21 pm
JupiterTaco wrote:
Fri Mar 31, 2017 7:00 am
Aquamarine, did you steal the guy away on purpose?

Heart_Open, although I ended my first relationship myself, my mother was happy to see it go. I'd imagine she didn't like not being the main person in my life anymore. :roll:
No. He was compensated for taking my friend to the dance by her dad. He didn't want to go with her so I volunteered to take her place.
Oh. :oops: =))
"How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me, you're the part of me that I don't want to see"-Forget It-Breaking Benjamin

EXlfjb
Posts: 1685
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:12 am
United States of America

Re: Background on Sexuality

Post by EXlfjb » Fri Mar 31, 2017 9:06 pm

Aquamarine21 wrote:
Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:36 pm
No never. Although, there was lots of blame shifting in my FOO. Lots of fighting and yelling also. I often felt that my opinion didn't matter and when I tried to stop an argument from escalating, I ended up in the middle, having to choose a side.
This happened a lot -- mom didn't drive, only dad, so if we were going somewhere new, dad, being awful with directions, would make a wrong turn and end up getting lost. Mom would start yelling and we never got to our destination because everyone was too upset and mom would say to dad "you are too stupid to drive". So we went home and I was always disappointed that we didn't get there.
I tried to be helpful -- ask for directions or just backtrack -- but didn't matter, would just get yelled at also.

So yes, many times, wanted to say just stop it.

My FOO was even more fucked up than I realized.
Start focusing on loving that damaged little girl within and she will start to blossom with your kindness.
Last edited by EXlfjb on Sun May 06, 2018 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3249
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Background on Sexuality

Post by JupiterTaco » Sat Apr 01, 2017 2:52 am

Limerentfriend wrote:
Fri Mar 31, 2017 9:06 pm
Aquamarine21 wrote:
Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:36 pm
No never. Although, there was lots of blame shifting in my FOO. Lots of fighting and yelling also. I often felt that my opinion didn't matter and when I tried to stop an argument from escalating, I ended up in the middle, having to choose a side.
This happened a lot -- mom didn't drive, only dad, so if we were going somewhere new, dad, being awful with directions, would make a wrong turn and end up getting lost. Mom would start yelling and we never got to our destination because everyone was too upset and mom would say to dad "you are too stupid to drive". So we went home and I was always disappointed that we didn't get there.
I tried to be helpful -- ask for directions or just backtrack -- but didn't matter, would just get yelled at also.

So yes, many times, wanted to say just stop it.

My FOO was even more fucked up than I realized.
And my guess is you don't want to end up like them? This is where often we are in denial about being narcs ourselves because we want to shift the blame back to our parents - who modelled blame shifting really well.

So not only you can see the connection many refuse to accept who they are - a splitting image of their parent.

Start focusing on loving that damaged little girl within and she will start to blossom with your kindness.
So wise, LF!
"How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me, you're the part of me that I don't want to see"-Forget It-Breaking Benjamin

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