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Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

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EXlfjb
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Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

Post by EXlfjb » Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:53 am

Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

http://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relat ... sex-essay/

I've spoken briefly about the difference between men and women and perhaps this blog/article can explain it better. Why are men reluctant to be so... romantically inclined? Or perhaps it is something else? You would think there is no difference in intimacy, but trust me, I have read and heard many stories where women swear that women make better lovers – why is that? What is it that men lack? Or maybe they don't???

However I would still like to hear your views to see if this writer has experienced limerence, or something else?

LostAgain
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Re: Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

Post by LostAgain » Thu Mar 23, 2017 11:08 am

I am not sure whether your point holds true generally;there is an argument that boys are encouraged to hide their emotions and grow into emotionally inarticulate men,inter alia.
What I am certain of though is that the guys on this forum are not to be lumped into some assumed bunch of insensitive,unfeeling beings.
Generalisation has no place on this forum,my dear.

LostAgain
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Re: Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

Post by LostAgain » Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:07 pm

BTW,I usually find your posts very apposite and helpful.
L.

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David
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Re: Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

Post by David » Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:36 pm

Sounds like limerence to me with all the idolisation. I would like to see where she is at after a few years if she were to leave her husband and live with the other woman. I suspect the fantasy would soon rub thin. As we know limerence never lasts once a relationship is consummated.

I think in this case the gender of the other person is a red herring. Weve seen here a few "straight" females with limerence for another woman. Seems far less prevalent for a "straight" man to develop homoeroitc feelings for another man.

As for men being emotionally disconnected, yes, I see it all the time and i've written here before about that and dont deny it. It comes down to good communication - perhaps this woman never told her husband how she wanted to be pleasured sexually. And likely her husband didnt listen even if she had.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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LisaTranscending
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Re: Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

Post by LisaTranscending » Thu Mar 23, 2017 4:13 pm

David..are men really this disconnected? and why?

I've been hurting thinking of my ex. all the lost possibilities. how I wanted to connect with him, and he just closed down. I still don't understand why.
I'm also afraid of this disconnect between men and women. I'm feeling it in the dating world, I'm feeling it from my ex, and just wondering if this is real or do I need to change my perspective? I think I may have a negative vibe and may be attracting the wrong kind of man into my realm since trust is going to be a new experience all over again. my trust was so freely given, and it was ultimately violated. I'm sure if you asked my ex, he would say this very same thing. but I know...I just know deep down...he kept it all closed up inside him, all the emotions, everything he might share in an intimate way, he never really did. I know men are capable of sharing. but is it really so rare? or was I just unlucky?

a friend of mine left a heartless marriage ....and became a lesbian. she insists men are not capable of this sort of tenderness. part of me can't believe that's true.
today just reading that article, a strong wave of sadness has come upon me.

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LisaTranscending
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Re: Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

Post by LisaTranscending » Thu Mar 23, 2017 4:18 pm

Limerentfriend...I'm just as confused as you on this subject.

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David
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Re: Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

Post by David » Thu Mar 23, 2017 6:05 pm

Men can be tender, caring, sensitive, loving, emotional, vulnerable, intimate - all the things women seem to do naturally but men have been conditioned not to do.

I struggle in finding these men too. I only have a few male friends that have an ability to show these qualities and we have deep intimate connections.
I've met many men like this through the ManKind project but we are only 70,000 men worldwide. There are other circles of men meeting up and sharing in similar ways.

Do you need to reset what you are looking for? No, keep looking - look in places where more conscious men meetup. Dont compromise yourself, you are worth more than a man that is not prepared to look at himself, take responsibility for his way of being and prepared to do the grief work to grow up.

I did think of setting up a dating site whilst at college for people that are looking for more conscious relationships - so many of the woman on the course complained of the same thing.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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EXlfjb
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Re: Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

Post by EXlfjb » Thu Mar 23, 2017 7:32 pm

LisaTranscending wrote:
Thu Mar 23, 2017 4:18 pm
Limerentfriend...I'm just as confused as you on this subject.
I know right! It is as if women speak from their heart and men struggle in this area. I agree with you David, it takes two and yes, I do wonder what would happen in this relationship long term. Honestly, from the amount of stories I have read, women connect to women on much deeper levels. Not just physically, in everyway possible.

EXlfjb
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Re: Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

Post by EXlfjb » Thu Mar 23, 2017 7:36 pm

David wrote:
Thu Mar 23, 2017 6:05 pm
I did think of setting up a dating site whilst at college for people that are looking for more conscious relationships - so many of the woman on the course complained of the same thing.
You'd probably only end up with females and then they'd get a taste of cake.
There is a saying 'come to the darkside, we have cake' =)) =)) =))

EXlfjb
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Re: Can someone please tell me if this is limerence?

Post by EXlfjb » Thu Mar 23, 2017 7:38 pm

LostAgain wrote:
Thu Mar 23, 2017 11:08 am
I am not sure whether your point holds true generally;there is an argument that boys are encouraged to hide their emotions and grow into emotionally inarticulate men,inter alia.
What I am certain of though is that the guys on this forum are not to be lumped into some assumed bunch of insensitive,unfeeling beings.
Generalisation has no place on this forum,my dear.
I'm not lumping anyone, I'm just sharing my amazement at the copious amount of stories of real life experiences where literally, women make better lovers.

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