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Increasing body size and desire when we get married

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David
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Increasing body size and desire when we get married

Post by David » Sat Sep 22, 2018 6:15 am

A common dynamic is once we get married, we stop making an effort on our physical appearance. We've won the mating game and no longer need to make an effort with being attractive to find a mate. I have to put my hands up to this. I do wonder if this is more prevalent amongst men?

When working with a man in a mismatched libido scenario where he is the higher desire half, i suggest where he has let himself go, that he get himself in physical shape as part of working on his PIES (Physical / Intellectual / Emotional / Spiritual).

I know in an ideal world we would love our partners whatever their outward appearance. That we would not objectify our partners. I am also aware how there are different cultural stereotypes of what attraction is. And yet we can not escape that when we get big, for many folk its a turn off.

I'd be interested to read of other members of their views on this relationship with weight and desire. If you have had an increase in body size since settling down how has it impacted your partner's desire for you?
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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Spinnaker
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Re: Increasing body size and desire when we get married

Post by Spinnaker » Sat Sep 22, 2018 7:53 am

.
Last edited by Spinnaker on Mon Sep 24, 2018 12:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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David
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Re: Increasing body size and desire when we get married

Post by David » Sat Sep 22, 2018 8:08 am

Spin

your SO sounds low maintenance or vision impaired :))
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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Spinnaker
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Re: Increasing body size and desire when we get married

Post by Spinnaker » Sat Sep 22, 2018 8:37 am

Definitely made me laugh out loud. Laughing IS good. In the grand scheme of things, it’s best to keep my sense of humor and not take stuff so seriously.

LostAgain
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Re: Increasing body size and desire when we get married

Post by LostAgain » Sat Sep 22, 2018 9:36 am

Reminds me of the old chestnut....

What is the most fattening food ?
Wedding cake.

Acrobatica
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Re: Increasing body size and desire when we get married

Post by Acrobatica » Sat Sep 22, 2018 5:39 pm

Similar to Spin. SO doesn’t seem to care or notice how I look. This should make me feel free to do whatever I want, and I guess it does because for a while now I look kind of like a scary female weight lifter. But instead it makes me feel invisible and interchangeable with any other female.

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Re: Increasing body size and desire when we get married

Post by LostAgain » Sat Sep 22, 2018 6:19 pm

I wonder whether we are talking about weight making no difference in terms of the indifference of familiarity or whether SO still wants to jump our bones irrespective of BMI. :))

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