Husband and LO

Find support here if your partner is in limerence, having an affair or love addicted.
Turtle
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 5:29 pm
Austria

Re: Husband and LO

Post by Turtle »

PVSDO wrote:
Sun Oct 04, 2020 5:39 pm
its not true love, if it was he wouldn't have to make you the bad guy to prove it to himself.
Yes you’re right, of course. If it wasn’t limerence he’d probably not step out of a marriage of 20 years, abandoning his family and everything that’s been important. It’s just my own fear.
I am detaching, too.
Living by the mantra „it’s not really the question whether it will burn out but what gets scorched along the way“

Making sure to protect my heart, our kids, our marriage as good as I can.
Just hope it will implode soon. Like now.

I read about MLC, yes.

Turtle
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 5:29 pm
Austria

Re: Husband and LO

Post by Turtle »

PVSDO wrote:
Sun Oct 04, 2020 5:39 pm
its not true love, if it was he wouldn't have to make you the bad guy to prove it to himself.
„That’s just how life happens, people get together, people split up again, no big deal“.

Hes got more and more into generalities.

1) You never listen
2) we’ve never been happy
3) that’s just life.

Urgh, mood swings
Last edited by Turtle on Sun Oct 18, 2020 7:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Turtle
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 5:29 pm
Austria

Re: Husband and LO

Post by Turtle »

What I’m seeing now is him being kind, taking care (house and stuff), he’s still registered here, he’s taking care of our lease (landlord wants to add a paragraph), still spending as much time as possible with the kids.

He said today he’d be getting an attorney. I gave a little jump in surprise I’m afraid, and asked what for (thought he was talking about a divorce). „To check if that alteration of the lease is ok.“


But of course living with OW. He lost weight again.

Is that a phase in limerence, when vilification and accusations/ rewritten history stops and they still move on with the affair?

Turtle
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 5:29 pm
Austria

Re: Husband and LO

Post by Turtle »

It’s still ongoing.
He‘s also brought up divorce :(
On the other hand he’s been handling lots of stuff for me and the kids (talking with teachers, things with our lease, landlord, and still showing up as a family). He’s always including me, asking my opinion. He made an excuse the other day to come here, but it really was a very short visit.

I think there have been arguments and she’s pushing for divorce. But I don’t know for sure.

He‘s still making as much time as possible with the kids.

It’s really hard.
I know the wavering can occur in later stages.

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