Dear limerent HELP How can a SO support without being to supportive?

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Re: Dear limerent HELP How can a SO support without being to supportive?

Post by PVSDO »

John wrote:
Mon Oct 05, 2020 2:37 pm
PVSDO, well that meeting sure wasn't what I was anticipating.

It seems that SHE is limerent one and your husband is her victim. I'm a little confused about the piano teacher mom part. It that true or did you make it up? And the part about her boyfriend? If these aren't true I don't see things working out in your favor. You need good honest communication in your marriage to make it work. You will be okay, just stay calm and reasonable, this is a difficult time for everybody.
What I told LO about my DH the piano and her mom were not true... ( I tried to mentally smack her out of limerence) her mom did teach piano at one time when moms DH was well.

LO is not able to have a boyfriend at this moment because mom needs LO for emotional support.

I am super calm, my default mood is go with the flow and joke along the way. with a few minor adjustments.

Now that I have spoken with her and her mom... I just kind of think they are just having a hard time in their real lives.

From what I gather from the whole thing her mom is trying to baby her and she just wanted a moment of being treated like an adult.
or maybe she is just spoiled and they take her at her word for everything and because they baby her they get her everything she wants...

Her mother called me. LO said I have had a random issue and mom called to clear it up and let me know LO doesn't want to talk with me anymore. mom let me know that due to dads health LO is no longer able to meet with people. Her mother had no clue LO reached out to me or why... LOs mother said alot that didn't match anything me and LO have ever talked about. LOs mom let me know that LO is NO LONGER TRYING to message my husband so I shouldn't have an issue with LO. *-:)
Her number has been blocked from DH's phone since July 3rd so I dont know what messages mom was talking about. DH fully gave me access to all his accounts when he felt like the feelings were weird July 5th. They went NC July 10th
I did let mom know it was LOs ideal to hang out and mom was surprised ( I did NOT mention why). I did let mom Know that we dont have an issue and that I was just reaching out now that LOs job ended( all true).

Before my husband ever walked into the dinner, LO had talked him up so her parents knew she was interested in him. At said dinner the parents continuously implied DH & LO should be an item before they ever asked him anything about himself.... after finding out his age and that he was married the parents disapproved of everything they had so strongly implied. =)) WTF

This whole time I really thought my husband had lost his mind... LO and her parents pursued him.
everything he has told me was confirmed- it was a week for him 2 years for her and the parents were in on it...

but I am going to just let it go. At this point it is just not worth my time. We move in 6 months.

Why cant people just be normal..... More trash people raising trash kids in the middle of nowhere

I am still not mad at her.. she taught me better communication in marriage. I learned that my DH is trust worthy. I learned that MC is for dealing with past issues so new issues can be communicated without someone feeling blamed and bothered. I NEEDED THIS SO I CAN BE A HAPPILY MARRIED DUMMY IN A LEVEL 3 MARRIAGE.

I am walking in to MC looking for a level 3 marriage and NOT looking for someone to get me out of a crisis.

I probably will miss LO, other than chasing my husband, she was okay to talk to.
It is what it is....with minor adjustments :D

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