- Posts: 4
- Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2020 10:27 pm
Although I still love him, I am beginning to feel deep anger within me now. I understand that limerence is unintentional but does it mean it's OK to treat the people we love however we please?
So, I'm wondering whether to tell my husband how he made me feel before he moves out. If I tell him, it may give ME some peace of mind. Otherwise, I wonder if I may regret later in my life that I did not tell him clearly how he made me feel.
On the other hand, I worry that if I bring this issue up, it may end up the same way every recent conversation with noble intentions between us has ended recently: in tears. He used to be quiet and agreeable but now he's become argumentative and volatile. Maybe he will feel blamed and he will explode or I will lose control of my feelings and I may explode. If he's moving out soon and if he is not even responding to logic, maybe I'd be wasting my time talking to him. Maybe I'm better off focusing on myself and let this moving out happen with as little drama as possible.
So, I'm hoping to get some perspective on two things.
1) Would you have that conversation with your spouse if you were in my place?
2) If you have personally experienced limerence before and if you were in my husband's shoes, how would a conversation like the one I would like to have make you feel?
Any thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
- Posts: 146
- Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2020 8:29 pm
However, as a limerent, it may just assist with the crystallization process. You will officially be "bad" and she will be "good". Again, it wouldn't change my decision, because I would never accept someone back who had strayed. Whether you confront him or not is about you and you're own peace. It's okay if there are tears. He hurt you badly
Hope that helps. I hope whatever decision you make serves you in the end.
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2019 7:15 am
Mine had other things going on (bipolar and off of his meds, plus likely midlife crisis on top of it), so maybe the situation is different, but maybe not. Mine too had been more of a passive personality before all of this hit, so his responses to anything were unpredictable. Do whatever you need to for YOU. But in saying that, does it really serve you to essentially talk to someone about your feelings who will likely invalidate them?