Limerence and fear?

Find support here if your partner is in limerence, having an affair or love addicted.
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WishMagick
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Re: Limerence and fear?

Post by WishMagick »

qwerty wrote:
Fri Mar 13, 2020 11:39 am
Sometimes I feel that she thinks at some point in the future we will be back together. I unfortunately have not been courageous enough to tell her I'm not going to wait for her forever...
I really feel like you should tell her that you won't wait for her forever. She needs to know that.
She can't keep treating you like this.

Also, why won't you have her clarify what she means when she tells you some things? It's so sad that you are left trying to figure out what she meant.
It seems you are afraid to do or say something wrong because you think she will flit away and never return. If she does that, it's definitely a blessing in disguise for you.

You are being so accommodating and she isn't trying nearly as much as you are. This can't be good for you.
I'm now limerence free! Mindfulness & Traditional spiritualism was my "cure".
"Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness."

qwerty
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2020 12:30 pm
Lebanon

Re: Limerence and fear?

Post by qwerty »

Dear WishMagick,
WishMagick wrote:
Fri Mar 13, 2020 3:52 pm
I really feel like you should tell her that you won't wait for her forever. She needs to know that.
She can't keep treating you like this.
You are right. I am working on this. On my part I also have a fear of abandonment. She is the only relationship I've had in my life.
Also, why won't you have her clarify what she means when she tells you some things? It's so sad that you are left trying to figure out what she meant.
It was a voice message and I couldn't ask for more details... But on the other hand I've tried to ask her to clarify somethings sometimes and I feel she cannot clearly explain what she's thinking or feeling, like it's all a big mess in her head..
It seems you are afraid to do or say something wrong because you think she will flit away and never return. If she does that, it's definitely a blessing in disguise for you.
You are being so accommodating and she isn't trying nearly as much as you are. This can't be good for you.
I guess I feel a huge responsibility... If she had a drug problem and were acting crazy, would I leave her? It just feels wrong... and the way she's acting now, I'm sure she is not in her right mind... I don't know if I'm making excuses for her or not, but she is clearly not mentally well at the moment...

Which is why her going to therapy and committing to it is absolutely essential. At the moment I'm trying to stop trying to solve her problems, but support her in committing to therapy.

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WishMagick
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Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 8:00 pm
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Re: Limerence and fear?

Post by WishMagick »

qwerty wrote:
Sun Mar 15, 2020 3:16 pm

Which is why her going to therapy and committing to it is absolutely essential. At the moment I'm trying to stop trying to solve her problems, but support her in committing to therapy.
That seems like the right thing to do.
I just feel so bad for you. Your wife is so lucky to have you. That's for sure!
I'm now limerence free! Mindfulness & Traditional spiritualism was my "cure".
"Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness."

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