Information: Please take a moment and visit your profile to choose a flag.

Being an LO

Find support here if your partner is in limerence, having an affair or love addicted.
Limfriend1
Posts: 1579
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:12 am
United States of America

Re: Being an LO is the worst thing ever

Post by Limfriend1 » Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:46 pm

Pudding wrote:
Fri Apr 07, 2017 9:50 pm
Wow, okay. I'm not sure why there can't be a civil discussion about it? Throwing out "I don't care what you have to say" is pretty juvenile. So only certain people are allowed to reply to your posts and if you deem them worthy, you will respond? Got it :lol:
No Pudding. It is because I can see through your games that you and your mates have been playing on here for the past couple of days and I'm not interested in playing those games. You along with others have pointed the finger at me many times. If that floats your boat, go for it. Putting a :lol: emoticon is pretty juvenile. And I refuse to subject myself to gameplaying. Which is also a narc trait.

Limfriend1
Posts: 1579
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:12 am
United States of America

Re: Being an LO is the worst thing ever

Post by Limfriend1 » Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:46 pm

I have tons of empathy for my LO. Oh I wish I could tell her about it! But then is that still the limerence talking?
Last edited by Limfriend1 on Sun May 06, 2018 8:36 am, edited 2 times in total.

Pudding
Posts: 738
Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:45 am
Canada

Re: Being an LO is the worst thing ever

Post by Pudding » Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:50 pm

No games being played here. Just trying to figure out why this is going on for me, so I can work through it and hopefully never be immersed in it again.

But at least now I know I'm worthy of your response, haha :lol: just for you.
F 39
LO is M 37, my son’s former teacher
LC beyond my control ~x(
LE began in the fall of 2015

Limfriend1
Posts: 1579
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:12 am
United States of America

Re: Being an LO is the worst thing ever

Post by Limfriend1 » Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:53 pm

Pudding wrote:
Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:50 pm
No games being played here. Just trying to figure out why this is going on for me, so I can work through it and hopefully never be immersed in it again.

But at least now I know I'm worthy of your response, haha :lol: just for you.
Okay Pudding, I'm getting tired of this. Spill...

Heart_Open
Posts: 705
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:52 pm

Re: Being an LO is the worst thing ever

Post by Heart_Open » Fri Apr 07, 2017 11:38 pm

Limerentfriend wrote:
Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:46 pm
Pudding wrote:
Fri Apr 07, 2017 9:50 pm

No Pudding. It is because I can see through your games that you and your mates have been playing on here for the past couple of days and I'm not interested in playing those games. You along with others have pointed the finger at me many times. If that floats your boat, go for it. Putting a :lol: emoticon is pretty juvenile. And I refuse to subject myself to gameplaying. Which is also a narc trait.
Woah..was going to respond to all your posts tomorrow with a balanced view. Because I believe in the past you have had plenty of good things to say, and because there is something obviously triggering you. Hmmm.
There are no games LF. There really aren't. No-one is playing games because, quite frankly, we have enough shit going on. Perhaps you need to think about what has triggered all this in you?
I would take a few moments out...days even... to reflect. (Intend to) You talk alot about narc traits and certainly exhibit little if no empathy. We are all here to support one another. What you have done with your posts is alienate people, made them hyper conscious about sharing and ruined their experience of this site. You probably did something similar on spiritual forums re twin flames or maybe left just before you did.
Look, we are all experiencing something, to varying degrees, a little bit of empathy goes such a very long way. For the record...i have been the LO a few times. But, nowhere near what you seem to have experienced so you are right, I can't possibly begin to think of the nightmare you went through.
Just please, be mindful that this site is full of those suffering from limerence. You can read their pain even if you can't empathise with it.

Pudding
Posts: 738
Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:45 am
Canada

Re: Being an LO is the worst thing ever

Post by Pudding » Fri Apr 07, 2017 11:53 pm

Limerentfriend wrote:
Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:53 pm
Pudding wrote:
Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:50 pm
No games being played here. Just trying to figure out why this is going on for me, so I can work through it and hopefully never be immersed in it again.

But at least now I know I'm worthy of your response, haha :lol: just for you.
Okay Pudding, I'm getting tired of this. Spill...
Spill what? I don't understand what you mean.
F 39
LO is M 37, my son’s former teacher
LC beyond my control ~x(
LE began in the fall of 2015

User avatar
limerentgirl
Posts: 82
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 2:02 am

Re: Being an LO is the worst thing ever

Post by limerentgirl » Sat Apr 08, 2017 3:46 am

Hey @Limerentfriend...

I have been a LO for a couple of times. Honestly that was not that hard. I just said what I felt and then ignored them. One of my LO's used to call my house and have loooong conversations with my mom. I just didn't care. I had already told him what I felt.

I'm a very empathetic person, but I believe people should take care of their own broken hearts.

I think the problem is not being an LO itself. The problem is your specific LO. Limerence is not an excuse to stalk people and make them unconfortable. I never did that to my LO. Actually I think I should have approached him more clearly in the past.

In my personal experience, being in LE is much worse than being an LO, but I agree with you that having an inconvenient person limerent towards you is probably like hell.

I agree with you partially in the sense that some people are glorifying limerence here, but usually they are in more early stages in their LEs. I have been limerent for almost two years, so even my limerent brain can't believe my own lies anymore.

I saw some posts that I didn't like and made me feel bad, but I just ignored them. One example is that post about hugging your LO. Maybe those posts are opportunities for us to show our colleagues that their mindset might not be the most appropriate.

Lost and confused
Posts: 352
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:16 am
Australia

Re: Being an LO is the worst thing ever

Post by Lost and confused » Sat Apr 08, 2017 6:19 am

I think there is a difference between having a stalker whose behaviour ends up being threatening and being limerent, they are not the same thing,
From personal experience, I dont see that my LO would have suffered as much as I from being an LS. I say this because on many occasions she came to me and chose to spend time with me. If she felt I was a threat I dont think she would do that. Of course I dont know what she feels, but that seems fairly logical to me.
Of course she could actually be limerent for me and suffering, but in that case she would be suffering from LE.

I guess all things are on a scale. I know that my, and probably for most people on here, being limerent was absolutely hellishly incapacitating, to the point of not being functional. To the point of wanting to quit my job to escape, despite it being otherwise the best job I had.

I wonder if being a runner makes it a different "experience" as opposed to be someone who chases.

I am sure being stalked and threatened (and being threatened does not have to be overt and explicit or even on purpose) must be very scary, especially in your case LF where you feel that you could be compromised in your job.

I think its natural that people are triggered when its implied that they are making someone feel even worse than they feel. That probably impacts on them in terms of the natural shame and blame that many of us have issues with from youth.

But in terms of your question, how would you handle a 17 y/o, I think that you are probably doing all you can. Keeping NC and not giving her anything to work with. We know how bl00dy persistant and illogical LE is, many LSs have been treated poorly by LOs and the LE still doesnt disappear. I guess make sure your boss and all the people at work know the situation, and try not to be alone with her so you could be compromised. Not a nice situation.

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3851
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Being an LO is the worst thing ever

Post by JupiterTaco » Sat Apr 08, 2017 7:55 am

Wow, that's quite a situation, LF. I guess what you can do is continue to refer her to the youth group, over and over until she gets the hint. It's hard to come across as firm about your boundaries, as it's probably a tough line to draw with young people. Many of them are looking for role models and even substitute parents. But you can't be that for this girl. She has a family, you have a family and I guess just try to leave it at that. It's really sad but you read so many stories of adults crossing lines with young people, it's a shame.

When I first realized that my new (ahem) obsession could've possibly been my LO if I'd ever met him, I was just shocked. I'd never even though that I could have a younger LO. I mean I've tried to date younger guys, and I couldn't do it, it was like dating my little brother, it was just too gross to think about. It doesn't matter how "evolved" and possibly wise beyond his years this person was, he was still a kid. The human mind is interesting to say the least...good luck with your situation!
F.E.A.R-Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3851
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Being an LO is the worst thing ever

Post by JupiterTaco » Sat Apr 08, 2017 8:25 am

I also wanted to add, I've also been on the other side of the fence, I don't know if for limerence, but it's definitely no fun being the object of someone's unwanted attention. I quite routinely attract much-older men who fixate on me, ask me out over and over and over, throw sexual innuendos my way, and I had a rather creepy neighbor (two actually in the time I lived there), who seemed to always be outside when I'd leave my old apartment. He lived somewhere above me and yet every time I walked outside, it never failed, he'd be right above the railing on the other side, and chirp "hi, JT!" He'd knock on my door at all hours of the day and night and scare my cats, it was like a game to him. When I'd be in a hurry he'd make it his damn life goal to try to slow me down and get in the way, or so it seemed. There were always a few at various workplaces and like you, my coworkers would tease me about them.

Then there was another guy I dated briefly last summer. He was a friend of my neighbor's (and had an ex in my building, don't ask) and I met him at the pool one day when we were all hanging out. He was cute, we got to talking, he kind of gravitated toward me from the beginning. He was at least fifteen years older than me (didn't look it) and he asked me out and we went out. Then started the constant texting and showing up at my apartment when I didn't text him back. Imagine my horror one day when not five minutes in the pool, he walked on up. Scared the shit out of me! I tried telling him that as someone who has no kids and no desire to have any (he had four) I just thought it best that we not keep seeing each other.

Every abused-step-child's worst nightmare! I mean if I had kids and someone I was dating told me they didn't want to be around kids, that'd be it for me! This guy pleaded me to give him another chance and that when his kids were eighteen they were on their own. :shock: I told him I didn't appreciate the constant texting and he promised to stop and I gave him another chance. Well he started up with the texting again, telling me I'm different from "all these other women who cheat and lie and" blah blah blah. Leaving notes on my car. Bugging me to get together every day. Brought his 21-year old daughter on one of our dates exactly a week after we met. Couldn't take it...he finally stopped bugging me before I moved but yeah I really dodged a bullet there.

And the pressure to go hiking with him! I didn't even know this guy, I wasn't going to the wilderness alone with him. I asked if we could compromise and go to a well-travelled place until we know each other better and he got this big attitude about it. [-( And the ex in my building. My neighbor told me about her before he did. Later on he told me to "be careful of her, because she might be mean to you". That was it for me. I'm not interested in some cat-fight. Bye, Felisha! :-o
F.E.A.R-Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests