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Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Talk therapy can help but at times less cognitive treatments are required. Anything related to ANY form of therapy goes here.
Havb
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Re: Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Post by Havb » Sun Jun 10, 2018 4:23 pm

I am now cranky and worn out from thinking about and dealing with this thread and will thus move on.

I think we are all here because we all seek in some way to develop different strengths or skills we may have found lacking in our lives prior to limerence--mine is the capacity to feel validation and authority in my own opinions, as these were not allowed in my FOO.

Thus I will stand by all I have said and at the same time refrain from further arguing or questioning.

Happy Sunday to all.
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

L-F
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Re: Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Post by L-F » Sun Jun 10, 2018 7:53 pm

Sorry sorry sorry Havb. .. just ignore this post. I find this thread interesting!

Two things jump out at me.

When I posted that neoliberalism and a patriarchal society serves no one. What that means is (and only because I've seen the subject skirted around), in theory it serves men however in reality it creates hate... *drum roll* thus it serves no one.

It creates hateful mothers and damaged boys, so go figure men! Change the bloody system! Sorry, obviously I dislike patriarchy. Ahem *adjusts halo*...

As for listening to others views regardless of how hateful it is... well I sit with the minority here. As long as its not a personal attack like "Ivanhoe you are a $; $&&!!!" :D HOWEVER... if I were to say "I fn hate patriarchy" so what! We are entitled to our views and triggers are good for us to help us grow. I posted a thread on this very topic which I might bump cos I'm narckie like that and I friggin love it (cos that's who I am so I will revel in the fact that I friggin love who I am). Haha I can see the eyes roll.

Ps Ivanhoe is not a $; $&&!!!

I wish everyone a happy week. I'm off to work! Blessings
When you are external facing,
how do you expect to do the inner work? :-??

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Spinnaker
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Re: Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Post by Spinnaker » Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:16 pm

No eye roll here. Fist in the air is more like it!
You rock, L-F;) \m/

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David
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Re: Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Post by David » Mon Jun 11, 2018 6:18 am

L-F wrote:
Sun Jun 10, 2018 7:53 pm
When I posted that neoliberalism and a patriarchal society serves no one. What that means is (and only because I've seen the subject skirted around), in theory it serves men however in reality it creates hate... *drum roll* thus it serves no one.
Many ideologies perpetuate the drama triangle with all 3 positions of the victim, rescuer and persecutor being positions of victimhood.

Your post LF brought to mind this quote:

“Ideology is the opposite of philosophy. Philosophy is the curiosity which guides its inquiry according to universal principles. Ideology is a prior prejudice that seeks out an echo-chamber of reaffirming information.”

― Stefan Molyneux
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

Male 58

L-F
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Re: Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Post by L-F » Mon Jun 11, 2018 9:30 am

I quite like this too...


The Teachings on Opinions


Do not believe it because I have said it.
Do not believe it because you have read it,
Do not believe it because some sage has been inspired or thought he was inspired, but
believe it when you know it in your heart.

From Necessary Parties, by Barbara Dana, page 279
When you are external facing,
how do you expect to do the inner work? :-??

townshend
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Re: Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Post by townshend » Sat Jun 16, 2018 12:54 am

<r><QUOTE author="L-F" post_id="45607" time="1528656805" user_id="1402"><s>
L-F wrote:
Sun Jun 10, 2018 7:53 pm
</s>
When I posted that neoliberalism and a patriarchal society serves no one. What that means is (and only because I've seen the subject skirted around), in theory it serves men however in reality it creates hate... *drum roll* thus it serves no one.<br/>
<br/>
It creates hateful mothers and damaged boys, so go figure men! Change the bloody system! Sorry, obviously I dislike patriarchy. Ahem *adjusts halo*...
<e>
</e></QUOTE>

that's what im saying. it's almost like an adverse positive effect. obvious there's a benefit from being a male in a male driven society but it means success in the way that that society deems success, and benefits as that society see benefits. but it's tremendously damaging to the individual. it benefits men, that's the entire thing that makes it patriarchal, but it's not good for them. and the fact that when males dont conform to the rules and customs, etc of that patriarchal society they too are outcast and hurt by it even more. the act of conforming is inherently damaging as well
No good has ever come from feeling guilty neither intelligence, policy, nor compassion. The guilty do not pay attention to the object but only to themselves and not even to their own interests, which might make sense, but to their anxieties. -Paul Goodman

L-F
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Re: Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Post by L-F » Sat Jun 16, 2018 7:41 am

True Townsend. I agree.
When you are external facing,
how do you expect to do the inner work? :-??

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Re: Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Post by Ivanhoe » Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:20 am

Have to admit I don’t understand this thread anymore. :))

I don’t see US society as patriarchal - or perhaps I don’t understand the term (majored in Sociology at a top university). Seems to me that if anything, laws that are not equal are tilted away from the normalcy of men. That men gravitate to physically more demanding jobs and that men are probably inherently more ambitious (as a way of providing) and hierarchical (we are mammals after all) seems natural rather than some sort of artificial or imposed system that can be (or should be) changed. Not saying men don’t suffer because of all that. The statistics suggest they do.

But I’ve been wrong before. =))
65 (feel 50); Male

"Grief makes children of us all. Any intellectual difference is destroyed. The wisest know nothing."
- Emerson

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TheMoon
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Re: Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Post by TheMoon » Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:58 am

This is complex, and those of us who are confused and intimidated by the fluid and sometimes seemingly inconsistent requirements of political correctness barely know what we think, let alone are safe to mention. I was struck by a recent documentary on TV however about Germaine Greer ( https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0b6q27f but may not be available everywhere). In it she talks about the difference between equality and liberation, and says something about the feminism movement having 'settled' for equality. So aren't we now just all living in the societal framework that developed under millenia of patriarchy, but women are now allowed to be a part of it? Margaret Thatcher is a prime example of a woman who did fantastically well for herself in this patriarchal framework, but as it happens, her personal achievement benefited women not one jot.

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TheMoon
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Re: Happy about choosing a new (and male) therapist

Post by TheMoon » Sat Jun 16, 2018 9:07 am

Just following on from my previous, David's comment about the gynocentric world of therapy strikes me as possibly a microcosm of the opposite state of affairs, where the framework has been developed by women, and don't necessarily mesh that well with a more traditionally masculine point of view. I might suspect nursing to be similar. If there are any male nurses on this forum I would be interested to hear what they think about it too.

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