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substituting a new addiction

Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2018 10:11 pm
by Rosegirlxoxo
I know this is not a healthy idea, but I honestly feel that there is less shame in being an alcoholic or drug addict than being limerant. There is just such a pathetic nature to it. LO's respond in 3 ways that I've noticed--they are disgusted and turned off by the neediness, they want to exploit it, or (worst of all), they feel pity. I absolutely hate the way I act because of this. It fills me with shame. Could it be as simple as drinking a shot every time I think of my LO?

Re: substituting a new addiction

Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2018 10:26 pm
by LostAgain
As someone who is a little too fond of the booze I can say Nooooooooooooooooo.
Limerence is horrible but it is possible to learn and to come out stronger and a better person.
Same doesn't apply to booze.
Hang on in there. :ymhug:

Re: substituting a new addiction

Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2018 10:33 pm
by Maddie
I feel you, Rosegirl, I really do. Your post made me LOL, and I needed that! I never thought of the different ways an LO can respond, but that sounds pretty right to me. Mine did want the attention, and did exploit, to some extent. I am fighting like all "get-out" to stay away from this man. He doesn't contact me, or hasn't in a long time...so that makes it easier. It does have a pathetic/lame feel to it all...my attempts to get attention from him. And I can't take the shot/pill/anything bc I am a recovering addict/alcoholic. At the moment, I'm noticing things that make my life meaningful and exciting...and I am FINALLY beginning to realize that it won't be "dopamine excitement" like I'm used to, but nevertheless, something's gotta give.

:ymhug: to you .

Re: substituting a new addiction

Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:39 am
by John
There is no substituting addictions, only adding them. I agree that limerence can be more damaging than other additions, especially to a marriage. The best thing I'm aware of is NC.

Re: substituting a new addiction

Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:49 am
by JohnDeux
John wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:39 am
There is no substituting addictions, only adding them.
...and as has been noted before, limerence at least might be recognized as a/the "core" addiction since it's pointing to a broken or damaged relationship apparatus. As Gabor Mate and others have noted, chemical and process addictions are likely rooted in damaged/damaging relationships as well, but the mechanism for soothing in those cases is chemical, situational, or procedural.

Re: substituting a new addiction

Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 3:14 am
by dreams
Has anyone tried any treatment plans to heal from limerence?

Maybe like a 12-step program for codependency or something of that nature.