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substituting a new addiction

Discussion related to all forms of addictions.
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substituting a new addiction

Post by Rosegirlxoxo »

I know this is not a healthy idea, but I honestly feel that there is less shame in being an alcoholic or drug addict than being limerant. There is just such a pathetic nature to it. LO's respond in 3 ways that I've noticed--they are disgusted and turned off by the neediness, they want to exploit it, or (worst of all), they feel pity. I absolutely hate the way I act because of this. It fills me with shame. Could it be as simple as drinking a shot every time I think of my LO?

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Re: substituting a new addiction

Post by LostAgain »

As someone who is a little too fond of the booze I can say Nooooooooooooooooo.
Limerence is horrible but it is possible to learn and to come out stronger and a better person.
Same doesn't apply to booze.
Hang on in there. :ymhug:

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Re: substituting a new addiction

Post by Maddie »

I feel you, Rosegirl, I really do. Your post made me LOL, and I needed that! I never thought of the different ways an LO can respond, but that sounds pretty right to me. Mine did want the attention, and did exploit, to some extent. I am fighting like all "get-out" to stay away from this man. He doesn't contact me, or hasn't in a long that makes it easier. It does have a pathetic/lame feel to it attempts to get attention from him. And I can't take the shot/pill/anything bc I am a recovering addict/alcoholic. At the moment, I'm noticing things that make my life meaningful and exciting...and I am FINALLY beginning to realize that it won't be "dopamine excitement" like I'm used to, but nevertheless, something's gotta give.

:ymhug: to you .
40, F
ex-LO, 51 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

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Re: substituting a new addiction

Post by John »

There is no substituting addictions, only adding them. I agree that limerence can be more damaging than other additions, especially to a marriage. The best thing I'm aware of is NC.

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Re: substituting a new addiction

Post by JohnDeux »

John wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:39 am
There is no substituting addictions, only adding them.
...and as has been noted before, limerence at least might be recognized as a/the "core" addiction since it's pointing to a broken or damaged relationship apparatus. As Gabor Mate and others have noted, chemical and process addictions are likely rooted in damaged/damaging relationships as well, but the mechanism for soothing in those cases is chemical, situational, or procedural.
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...."~ The Wizard of Oz

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Re: substituting a new addiction

Post by dreams »

Has anyone tried any treatment plans to heal from limerence?

Maybe like a 12-step program for codependency or something of that nature.

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